It's not the Oscars . . . though Billy Crystal is hosting.
It's not the Grammys . . . though The Wallflowers (and Elvis Costello) are performing.
It's not even Hillary Clinton's actual birthday (she doesn't turn 60 until Friday).
But Thursday is her birthday fundraiser at the Beacon Theater in New York.
Here are the vital statistics:
--Wallflowers do 5 songs
--Costello does 6
--Clinton talks for 10 minutes
--And there is NO open bar
Clinton's fundraiser comes one day after drinking buddy John McCain launched a television ad in New Hampshire, lampooning her for at one time wanting to spend $1 million of taxpayer money to commemorate what the Arizona senator calls the "cultural and pharmaceutical" activities which took place at Woodstock.
Watch the ad: LINK
"I think it's a perfect trifecta," McCain spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker told ABC News. "It's got the contrast with Clinton, it displays his trademark humor, and it serves as a reminder of his POW story."
The Clinton camp, which remembers McCain's reversal on Bush's tax cuts, took issue.
"Senator McCain should focus more on explaining to New Hampshire voters why he supported the fiscally irresponsible Bush policies that squandered a federal surplus and left us with the largest deficit in American history," said Clinton spokesman Phil Singer.
McCain's Democratic critics noticed Wednesday that while the Arizona senator was able to cancel his New Hampshire events to help a conservative judge get on the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals, he skipped a cloture vote on a controversial immigration measure which would have offered a path to citizenship to the children of illegal immigrants.
Even though McCain supported a similar measure in the past, his aides indicate that he would have voted against it this time (if he hadn't been rushing to Reagan National to catch a flight to Iowa for a Wednesday foreign-policy speech).
Although he eventually would like to see comprehensive immigration reform, he says that he learned from the tongue-lashing he took earlier this year that the border must first be secured.
As McCain told Sean Hannity during his Sunday post-debate interview on the Fox News Channel, "I got the message, my friend, from you and a lot of people."
As for Thursday, McCain joins Mike Huckabee at an AARP forum in Sioux City, Iowa.
The AARP event was originally intended to be a multi-candidate debate similar to the one held by Democrats on Sept. 20. But with most Republicans turning down the invitation, the format was changed from a debate-style event to back-to-back appearances from McCain and Huckabee. Also, PBS is no longer airing the forum -- though there is a live webcast, viewable here: LINK
As for Joe Biden and Dennis Kucinich, the two Democratic '08ers participate Thursday in health-care forums sponsored by Families USA and the American Federation of Hospitals. Panelists will include ABC's Rick Klein. A webcast of the event can be seen here: LINK
Health policy advisers for McCain and Mitt Romney participate in a 10:30 am ET forum sponsored by CQ at The George Washington University in Washington, D.C.
In Cambridge, Mass., New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd speaks about the press and politics at Harvard University at 6:00 pm ET.
And, of course, President Bush makes his trip to Southern California to view the fire destruction.
The White House. . .
-- Travels to Southern California to view fire destruction
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY
-- Stays in Washington, D.C.
-- 2:35 am ET: Meets with U.S. troops, Kuwait
-- 6:45 am ET: Has a social lunch with King Abdullah II, Amman, Jordan
-- 8:15 am ET: Tours King Hussein Cancer Medical Center and announces expansion of the U.S.-Middle East Partnership, Amman, Jordan
On the campaign trail. . .
-- 12:45 pm ET: Holds a town hall meeting and media availability, Sioux Center, IA
-- 3:00 pm ET: Meets and greets voters, Le Mars, IA
-- 8:00 pm ET: Speaks at AARP Forum, Sioux City, IA
-- 8:00 pm ET: Speaks at AARP Forum, Sioux City, IA
-- 9:45 am ET: Speaks at health care town hall, Manchester, N.H.
-- 11:15 am ET: Attends a house party, Hooksett, N.H.
-- 3:00 pm ET: Holds a town hall meeting, Exeter, N.H.
-- 5:30 pm ET: Attends a shooting competition, Muscatine, Ia.
-- 7:30 pm ET: Speaks to voters, Muscatine, Ia.
As for the Democrats. . .
--7:00 pm ET: Hosts her birthday celebration fundraiser, New York City, N.Y.
-- 11:00 am ET: Speaks at the Families USA Presidential Forum, Washington, D.C.
-- 1:30 pm ET: Holds news conference to discuss anti-crime bill, Washington, D.C.
-- 8:30 am ET: Speaks at the Families USA Presidential Forum, Washington, D.C.
-- 1:15 pm ET: Holds a community meeting, Corning, Ia.
-- 3:15 pm ET: Holds a community meeting, Bedford, Ia.
-- 6:30 pm ET: Holds a community meeting, Indianola, Ia.
-- Hosts evening fundraising in New Mexico
-- 11:00 am ET: Hosts a community forum, Missouri Valley, Ia.
-- 1:00 pm ET: Hosts a community forum, Denison, Mo.
-- 3:00 pm ET: Hosts a community discussion, Carroll, Mo.
POLITICAL STORIES ON ABCNEWS.COM:
ABC News' Rick Klein Reports: No Joke: Colbert '08 Could Be Illegal LINK
ABC News' Jennifer Duck Reports: Bush Got Bad Wind of the Situation LINK
ABC's Z. Byron Wolf reports: Tancredo has World Series wager for Romney LINK
ABC News' Donna Hunter Reports: For Senator Dodd White Hair Equals Hard Work LINK
ABC News' Sam Donaldson and Mike Chesney report: C.A. Lt. Gov. Says 'Prove You Can Do It Right' LINK
ABC News' Matt Stuart Reports: Romney Launches "Business World" Ad LINK
ABC News' Z. Byron Wolf Reports: Controversial Judge Confirmed for Court of Appeals LINK
ABC News' Christine Byun Reports: Fred Thompson in Da Club LINK
ABC News' Teddy Davis Reports: Kerrey Passes on Nebraska Senate Race LINK
ABC News' Sunlen Miller: Iowa's 'Butter Lady' Touts Obama's Rural Agenda LINK
ABC News' Z. Byron Wolf Reports: McCain AWOL for Senate Immigration Vote LINK
ABC News' Jonathan Karl Reports: White House Requests Bunker-Buster Bombs LINK
Intern for the ABC News Political Unit:
The ABC News Political Unit is now seeking three full-time spring interns in Washington, D.C.
The internship begins Monday, Dec. 31, and runs through Friday, May 25.
Not only do Political Unit interns attend political events and write for the politics page of ABCNews.com, they also help us by conducting research, maintaining contact lists, and building the next day's political schedule.
In order to apply, you must be either a graduate student or a college student who has completed his or her first year.
You also must be able to work eight hours per day, starting early, Monday through Friday.
Interns will be paid $8.50/hour.
If you write well, don't mind getting up early, and have some familiarity with web publishing, send a cover letter and resume to email@example.com as soon as possible, with the subject line: "INTERN" in all caps. Please indicate in your cover letter the dates of your availability.