Privately, she admits, she was having a crisis of faith. "Does God really heal? Can he really heal me?," she says she asked herself, adding, "It's not that I stopped believing in God, but everything felt like a charade."
But by 1998, with her marriage, her faith and her family on the line, Grant made the decision to separate from her husband. She and her children moved out of the family farm into a nearby house in Nashville. She said her worst crisis of faith came when she realized that she was not going to be able to meet "the goal that I had been programmed for from the time I was a little girl": staying married.
Grant's divorce from Chapman in 1999 alienated some of her Christian fans. A few radio stations stopped playing Grant's songs, and some Christian record stores pulled her albums from the shelves. "Artists who do Christian music and spread the gospel are kind of held to a different and a higher standard than your average pop-rock star," said Deborah Evans, who writes about Christian music for Billboard magazine.
Bringing Two Families Together
With both their marriages at an end, Grant and Gill were finally free to get married. On March 10, 2000 — 10 years after they first met — they married on a rainy hillside outside Nashville, with Grant barefoot and bagpipes wailing.
The couple set about "blending" their families. Gill's 17-year-old daughter Jenny joined Grant's three children — Matt, 12, Millie, 10, and Sarah, 7 — and the new family moved into a new home in Nashville.
Gill said he is careful with his role in Grant's kids' lives: "They have a good father, and he loves them and he takes care of them. It's not my job to try to be Dad."
With the children's encouragement, Grant and Gill considered having another child. "I've always felt in my gut that this would be a really neat bonding experience for everybody in this family that was, you know, blended.... Everybody would have one thing they had in common," said Gill.
Two days after their first wedding anniversary, Grant gave birth to a daughter, Corrina Grant Gill. "It's really been an amazing gift to us all, I think," she said. "To have something in common that we could all love equally and not have any baggage of past or anything."
Grant and Gill say they believe in fate — though they acknowledge there can be detours. "I got lost on this road and I just took what I thought was an arbitrary turn and I found the place that I belonged," said Grant. "I mean, that's the really beautiful part of life."