Bottom 10: Oklahoma joins college football's least coveted club

— -- The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala.

--"I Wish" Skee-Lo

On Saturday, as the games of the college football world collectively kicked off, I elected to stay bunkered down in Charlotte, North Carolina, at Bottom 10 HQ South, located in the phone booth where Tom Luginbill changes into Superman.

In the middle of it all, my phone rang. It was a friend who was on his way to see the Charlotte 49ers host a home game against Eastern Michigan. "C'mon, dude, you write about these teams in that Bottom 10 thing all the time. You even claimed you tried to get College GameDay to do their show at this game. You gotta go."

I didn't. I didn't go because I was afraid someone would throw something at me. I didn't go because I never want someone to think I'm thumbing my nose at these teams. I'm not. It's all in good fun. I didn't go because ... well ... I'd just ordered a pizza and some wings, and they were already on the way to my house.

But man, now I wish I had gone. I wish I had gone so that I could have maybe told the fans of those two teams how I really feel, and had done that in person. I wish I had gone so that I could explain that, yes, it is all in good fun. I wish I had gone because ... well ... this play happened, and I actually could have seen it in person.

With apologies to Neil O'Donoghue and Steve Harvey, here's this week's Bottom 10.

1. Rice (0-3)

2. FI(not A)U (0-3)

3. Virginiugh (0-3)

4. I-ow!-a State (0-3)

Week 1: Iowa State lost to Northern Iowa. Week 3: Iowa lost to North Dakota State. Week 4: Iowa state legislature passes bill barring the state's two biggest schools from scheduling anyone with "North" in their name. Week 5: Iowa police bar Northwestern from crossing the state line to play Iowa. Week 6: Iowa State linebacker? Reggan Northrup?is considering a new surname.

5. Buster Sooner (1-2)

6. Charlotte 1-and-2ers (1-2)

7. Warshington State (1-2)

No, defeating Idaho doesn't get you off the list.

8. UMess (1-2)

9. State of Kent (1-2)

10. Buffalo Bills, er, Bulls (0-2)

MAC teams are beginning to arrive to the Bottom 10 like a fun-size bag of Skittles spilled beneath a car seat. Bowling Green, Northern Illinois, My Hammy of Ohio and Just Plain Ohio all lost to varying degrees of disappointment. But in the end the Bulls seized the spot via their three-game losing streak to Albany, Nevada and Fightin' Byes of Open Date U.

Waiting list: My-hammy of Ohio (0-3), NIU (0-3), Georgia State Not Southern (0-3), Arkansas State (0-3), Kentughky (1-2), Huh-why-yuh (1-3), North Texas Forty (1-2), Kansas Nayhawks (1-2), USC (1-2), dropping the ball before crossing the goal line, tossing the ball to the official behind the goal line ... on a kickoff.