Tim Tebow in the major leagues? Not a chance

— -- Let me say this about Tim Tebow: I hope all his dreams come true. I hope he hits more home runs in his showcase than Giancarlo Stanton whomped in the Home Run Derby. I hope there's a big league contract awaiting him as well as a major motion picture he can star in himself.

But now that I've got that out of the way, it's time to break it to him: That ain't happening.

That isn't how his beautiful baseball comeback tale is going to end. I bet he gets signed. I bet he gets an invitation to somebody's spring training camp. I even bet I'll be waiting for him when he pulls in, happily awaiting the chance to tell you all about it.

But the truth is, what Tim Tebow is attempting to do can't be done. Hasn't been done. Won't ever be done.

"He's missed 11 years in the batter's box," one longtime scouting director said Tuesday. "Nobody overcomes that. I know Josh Hamilton missed four years and he came back. But he was the No. 1 pick in the draft. You'd have to be a guy like that and just have stupid ability. And nobody ever thought of Tim Tebow like that."

Not to say Tebow wouldn't have had a future if he'd wanted to grow up and be the next Mike Trout instead of the next John Elway. He did hit almost .500 in his junior year in high school, against great competition in Florida. But even then, he was viewed as a guy with raw strength and athletic aptitude but lacking exactly the same quality that kept him from succeeding on Sunday afternoons -- fluidity.

So who knows what he might have been if he'd spent the last 11 years accumulating at-bats and reps and knowledge? But when he chose to spend those 11 years running bootlegs, learning to read zone defenses and pumping weights to build football strength, he was leading himself down a path that does not normally lead -- and has never led -- to the top story on "Baseball Tonight."

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Yes, Deion Sanders made it from the Falcons' defensive backfield to the World Series. Yes, Brian Jordan played both these sports professionally. Yes, D.J. Dozier spent five years in the NFL, then played left field for the Mets. But you know what those guys never did? They never stopped playing baseball for a whole decade. That's what. They all played in the minor leagues while they were dabbling in football. That's what.

Unfortunately, Tim Tebow did stop piling up those invaluable at-bats. From age 18 until age 29, he has had zero competitive plate appearances. So if you're ready, we're about to reveal the complete list of players who missed 11 years of baseball, then made it to the big leagues as a position player. Here it comes in 3 ... 2 ... 1.

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"It's never been done," said another exec Tuesday. "Not that I know of."

"You know," said the scouting director quoted earlier, "you always hear these stories about some kid who was out of baseball, then shows up in an independent league and surfaces as a big leaguer. But it's as a pitcher. This guy is trying to do it as a position player. And ... he didn't even play his senior year of high school."

So teams will go to his showcase later this month. In fact, I couldn't find a single team that said it wouldn't. And one of those teams will no doubt sign him. Why the heck not, right?

But the dream he's chasing is one that has never come true. On the big screen down at the Cineplex, maybe. Just not in the world of professional sports that Tim Tebow is having such a hard time letting go of.