Amy's Answers: 'I Don't Mind the Public Scrutiny'

Loved, loved the program tonight. Laughed so much and felt a couple of moments of heartache. Can't wait for next week.

Amy's answer: Well, why would you talk to someone every day for a month without meeting him or her? MEET THEM!!! And if they dump you or treat you poorly, really, let it roll right off of you. Pick yourself up and MOVE ON. If they can't see how special you are then really, forget them. Don't let any jerk waste more of your time by allowing him or her to occupy a place in your heart where the right person should be. Good rule of thumb, if you get along on the phone once or twice, meet them ASAP. This is the only way you will be able to tell if they are for real or not.

Gil in Maryland writes: I caught the show last night, and it was very interesting to get the female perspective of online dating ups and downs. I am a 36-year-old man with average looks and limited experience with the ladies. I have just about given up on online dating. I am currently a member of eHarmony. My success rate is not good, any advice on how to get more out of online dating?

Amy's answer: Join another site -- stay on eHarmony -- but maybe try as well. eHarmony takes forever to actually meet someone and there is so much stuff in it that by the time you get to "open communication" you have forgotten what you liked about that person in the first place. Cyber dating opens us up to so many possibilities that the only way to be successful doing it is to actually MEET those you seem to click with, like right away before you lose that initial excitement.

Then, since you have "limited" experience, grab a trusted girlfriend or relative to help you with your posting. It is advertising after all so you will want to put your best face forward! An attractive but accurate photo along with a detailed description of who you are and what you really have to offer in a relationship should be included. And show them, don't tell them. For example, don't say you are funny, write something that is funny so your potential mates can discover your wit and humor on their own.

I have a rule, I only go out with guys whose e-mails make me laugh out loud. Also, remember in the beginning to keep it about her, not you. Don't say things like "I want to talk to you" or "I think we should meet" it is so selfish! Consider what she might want and show her that you are the guy who can give it to her. Tell her what you loved about her profile and avoid stupid clich├ęs. If she is attractive she has heard it all before, so you need to stand out from the crowd. You can do it. You write well, now just share a little bit more of yourself and you will be on your way!

Trina in Los Angeles asks: How can you "not" act as if the cameras are there? Are you influenced by the fact that you will be on national TV? I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't be. Thanks!

Amy's answer: In the beginning you are influenced by it because you want to project yourself in a certain way to the potential viewers. However, what one soon realizes is that after about 10 hours of shooting you just can't do it any more and you wind up just tossing it all out the window and being yourself. You eventually figure, who cares, I can't help who I am and if people judge me for it at the end of the day then so what, at least I was myself.

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