A roundup of the late-night comics.
Jay Leno: And the White House said today that President Bush is expected to make his Iraqi strategy public, but not until after the holidays. Oh, yeah, what's the rush, huh? Take a break.
Conan O'Brien: Dennis Kucinich, who ran for President in '04, announced he's running again in '08. Yeah, yeah, coincidentally 04 is the number of votes Kucinich received.
Leno: Earlier this week, President Bush warned Democrats not to celebrate victory too early. Yeah. This, from the guy that put up the "Mission Accomplished" sign three years ago.
Stephen Colbert: Incoming House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer announced a new five-day work week for Congress, replacing the previous three-day Tuesday to Thursday schedule. This is terrible folks. How's a congressman supposed to take advantage of a four-day Disney flex-pass?
Jon Stewart: Also bidding farewell, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist.
Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn. [video]: I came over to this desk and I opened the drawer, and that tradition of carving your initials or your name into the bottom of that was carried out.
Stewart: Yes, when a senator leaves the Capitol, he does so with one last bittersweet act of vandalism.
Leno: And former Attorney General John Ashcroft is in the news. Remember that guy? He's come out with a new book. It just was released today, it says ah, 'Don't Blame Me, I Left in 2005.' I'm out of here.
Stewart: So why are people in New Hampshire this week going gag-gag over first-time memoirist Barack Obama?
[video of Obama in N.H.]
Gov. John Lynch: We originally scheduled the Rolling Stones for this party. But we cancelled them when we realized that Sen. Obama would sell more tickets.
Stewart: Oh, oh. And he added, "And Barack Obama would not require we build a wheelchair ramp."