Funnies: Yellow Brick Road to 2008

Jan. 28, 2007 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

David Letterman: While you folks were applauding, three more Democrats announced they're running for president.

Jimmy Kimmel: A lot of it was the usual pandering, but we did learn something very important last night.

President Bush [at State of the Union speech]: Dikembe Mutumbo grew up in Africa.

Jimmy Kimmel: Okay. There you go.

Leno: Also running, Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback. He announced he is running for president. He said he is running, and this is his quote, he is "on the yellow brick road to the White House." That's what he said, "the yellow brick road to the White House." Hey Sam, watch out for the wicked witch of New York, okay? Tangle with her and you can kiss your Oz goodbye.

Letterman: President Bush is going to be talking about global warming in his State of the Union address. He's unveiling his new plan. I believe it's called "No Ice Cap Left Behind."

Jon Stewart:The president of the United States made one simple request."

Bush [at State of the Union speech]: Our country is pursuing a new strategy in Iraq, and I ask you to give it a chance to work.

Stewart: He's right. He's … right. Everyone deserves a seventh chance.

Stephen Colbert: Take his proposal to fix that whole healthcare mess with the only proven cure-all -- tax breaks.

Bush [at State of the Union speech]: And for the millions of other Americans who have no health insurance at all. This deduction would help put a basic private health insurance within their reach.

Colbert: It's simple. Most people who can't afford health insurance also are too poor to owe taxes. But if you give them a deduction from the taxes they don't owe, they can use the money they're not getting back from what they haven't given to buy the healthcare they can't afford.

Kimmel: John Kerry announced today that he will not run for president. Actually, yesterday I think he announced that he will not run for president in 2008. Which leaves only several hundred Democratic candidates for president.