Hillary, Ditch the Trousers; Bill, Keep Them

A roundup of the late-night comics.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: In the latest count, there are now 25 politicians who have announced they're running for president of the United States. And 15 of them also claim to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech warning Americans about the threat from Iran. Yeah. Afterward the president admitted he took an old Iraq speech and replaced all the Q's with N's.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: If you missed the Grammys last night, you missed some magical surprises. … I really had to hand it to the Academy for sticking it to Al Gore. [shows video of Gore on Grammy's stage amid falling confetti] There is no better way to welcome a radical left-wing eco-nut job then with a forest worth of confetti.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: In all seriousness, I really like his campaign slogan. Have you seen it? Look at this. [shows picture of Romney behind a sign that reads "Mitt Happens"] Mitt Happens.

The Tonight Show

Leno: Fashion designer Donatella Versace says that if Hillary Clinton wants to win, she should ditch the trousers. Yeah. Actually, you know what would improve Hillary's chances even more? If Bill kept his trousers up. That would actually help, would help even more.

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: But you know the one real lesson in this entire debate: If you're going to give a dramatic speech on the floor of Congress, put your cell phone on vibrate.

Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio [video on House floor]: My colleagues, the world is watching. The question is: How will we respond? [As Boehner walks away from podium, his cell phone rings.]

Join the Discussion
You are using an outdated version of Internet Explorer. Please click here to upgrade your browser in order to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus
You Might Also Like...
See It, Share It
PHOTO: Firefighters rescue a woman who got stuck in a chimney in Thousand Oaks, Calif.
Ventura County Fire Department
PHOTO: Apple Pay is demonstrated at Apple headquarters on Oct. 16, 2014 in Cupertino, Calif.
Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP Photo
PHOTO: Up in Ash: Mount Sinabung Erupting
Tibt Nangin/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images
PHOTO: Defendant Jodi Arias testifies about killing Travis Alexander in 2008 during her murder trial in Phoenix, Feb. 20, 2013.
Charlie Leight/The Arizona Republic/AP Photo
PHOTO: Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, their daughter North West and Delphine Arnault attend the Givenchy show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2015, Sept. 28, 2014 in Paris.
Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/French Select/Getty Images