Funnies: White Guy Dinner

May 13, 2007 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jay Leno: Vice President Cheney made a surprise visit to Iraq today. Great, the one place we need him firing off his gun, he doesn't bring it. He just goes over there.

David Letterman: The last time the Queen of England was in the United States was 1991, 1991. And an awful lot has changed since 1991, the last time she was here. Back then, back then President Bush was fighting a war in Iraq."

Craig Ferguson: The White House gave the Queen a white tie dinner. The white tie dinner is a big change, of course, from the usual white guy dinner that they have.

Jay Leno: And Queen Elizabeth gave President Bush a frosty look when he gave her a wink. Did you see that in the paper? President Bush winked at the Queen like this. [Leno winks] You don't do that. You're not supposed to give the Queen a wink. That is wrong. But Bush just gave a wink. Hey, she's lucky she wasn't there when Clinton was in office, OK?

Bill Maher: New rule: you can't send the National Guard to Iraq and then claim it's still here. The helicopters, the humvees, the men -- like Dorothy and Toto, they're not in Kansas anymore. Sorry, Mr. President, but the last documented case of a National Guardsman able to be in two places at one time was you.

Conan O'Brien: Of course the elections are heating up. In a recent interview, Sen. John McCain says the last music he bought was the Beach Boys. While Mitt Romney says the last music he bought was Roy Orbison. Yeah, apparently McCain and Romney are both running for President in 1964.