Funnies: American Buzz Words

Here's a roundup of the late night comics.

Late Show

David Letterman: Hillary Clinton is out campaigning with Barack Obama. She says if it goes well, she'll consider making him her running mate.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Mitt Romney said Barack Obama has not accomplished anything during his life. Really? He ran a successful president campaign. That's more than you can say for Romney.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: The Supreme Court overturned Washington, D.C.'s ban on handguns! Woo! Finally, the residents of Washington, D.C., have the right to defend themselves. From each other, one assumes.

Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: Obama has a 15-point lead over John McCain. That's a big lead. He leads in men and in women and with young people, minorities. I think the only place that McCain is beating Obama is in calcium deposits right now.

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: How many real American buzz words does it take to convince swing states you're not elitist? "America is a country of strong FAMILIES. I was raised by single moms and my GRANDPARENTS. They taught me VALUES straight from the KANSAS HEARTLAND. ACCOUNTABILITY, SELF-RELIANCE, LOVE OF COUNTRY, WORKING HARD without excuses. If I have the honor of taking the oath of office as president it will be a deep and abiding FAITH." Well done, Senator Obama."

Late Show

Letterman: Big ruling coming out of the Supreme Court. They have ruled individuals have the right to carry guns. ... But when the decision was read, it created pandemonium. Court Justice Scalia had to fire two warning shots to settle people down.