FUNNIES: Mother's Day -- NSA's Busy Season

ByABC News
May 14, 2006, 12:48 PM

May 14, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Bill Maher: There are more calls made on Mother's Day than any other day of the year -- or as the NSA calls it, "Our busy season."

Jimmy Kimmel: I don't like the government keeping track of my phone calls. And I'll tell you another thing: When I got home last night -- this is a weird thing -- Dick Cheney was sitting on my bed reading my diary.

David Letterman: Yesterday, the House of Representatives passed a $70 billion tax cut, capital gains, and it's all part of President Bush's "No Millionaire Left Behind" program.

Jon Stewart: So what does Beardy al-Nut Job have to say to uh, Squinty McGee? Well in the letter, Ahmadinejad hints at United States' complicity in 9/11, scolds the United States for their Iraqi venture, and says, quote, "The world is gravitating towards faith in the almighty" -- adding, "I have been told that your excellency follows the teachings of Jesus." OK, first of all, your excellency? That's laying it on a little thick.

Jay Leno: President Bush spoke today about the government wiretapping. He tried to reassure the public that it's only for security purposes. But see, I think he's sending mixed messages. Show the president speaking today about it.

President Bush [on video]: Second, the government does not listen to domestic phone calls, without court approval.

[as Bush continues to speak, the following text rolls across the screen: "For a complete transcript of a phone conversation between Denise Richards and Heather Locklear, send $10 to: NSA Phone Taps, Washington, DC 20090."]