What Vacation? Traveling With the In-Laws

June 11, 2010— -- Getting your kids to sleep while on vacation can be a real challenge some nights. But what if your in-laws are standing over your shoulder, second-guessing your every move?

For more than a decade, Luisa Frey joined her husband's family for their annual reunion. All 25 of them.

The first year, they all shared a giant house, and let's just say there was a lot of fighting over dirty dishes, bedtimes and basic scheduling.

"You're dealing with everybody's own daily habits," said Frey, a family travel expert and founder of TeenTravelTalk.com/. "There's very different dynamics when it's not your family."

To ease tensions in future years, the group ended up having each part of the family rent its own condo unit in the same resort complex.

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"There was the closeness that you wanted, but there was separateness that is very important if you want traveling with in-laws to be a success," Frey said.

The length of your trip can also make or break it.

"A week can be a bit much when dealing with family and family that isn't yours," she said.

Instead, consider four nights, five days, especially on the first outing together.

The spouse joining his or her in-laws should also, Frey said, make "safety plans for themselves that they may or may not need." So if it's a beach vacation, make sure there is a car available to allow a few hours of alone time. But, she warns, make sure that everybody is back together at the dinner table each night.

Amy Graff, who runs the family travel blog On the Go with Amy, agrees that families shouldn't spend every minute together.

"It works well if everyone has breakfast together and then breaks up into groups for activities or has the option of spending time alone in the afternoon. Then, everyone can come back together for dinner and talk about their days," Graff said. "If you spend every waking hour together, you're bound to drive each other nuts."