10 Things You'll Never Hear Your Flight Attendant Say

6. It's against the law to join the mile-high club. Because it's not! That's the good news. The bad news is it's against the law to disobey crew commands, so if we ask you to stop, by all means stop! And come out with your pants up. Then everything will be A-OK, and you won't have to tell your cellmate what you're in for.

7. Our ages. Gone are the days when you could pinch us and get away with it, but a few well-kept secrets are still every woman's (and man's) prerogative.

8. My layover hotel is XYZ. Maybe I've seen too many slasher movies, but the last thing I want is that passenger who complained about slow beverage service knowing where I'm sleeping.

9. How the movie ends. Because during the 17 times it's shown on our flights, we have been otherwise occupied. Same goes for the question "where are we?" Usually we have no idea. Unless we call the captain, all we know is where we are in the beverage service (which, we hope, isn't too slow, see above).

10. I hate my job. We do our best to keep passengers from realizing how tiring our job can be, especially if we've encountered delays. Just bear in mind I've said "hello," "goodbye" and "what you would like to drink?" about 600 times over the course of three days, and the only time I stopped smiling was when a passenger threw up on my dress on day one of a three-day trip, and when I ran out of shampoo on day two. There's a reason we continue to do what might sound torturous to some. We love it!

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