Seven Things You Should Never Say in an Airport

This one actually occurred on a plane, and it was nonverbal communication; still, I'm guessing the passenger thought about this in the airport, so I'm including it. The incident took place on a flight to Hawaii when a passenger filled out a "comment card" with a rambling mashup of references to the old "Gilligan's Island" sitcom and plane crashes. That was enough for the pilot who turned the plane back to Portland, where our nostalgic TV viewer was met by police.

Note: This guy lost out on a trip to Hawaii, but taxpayers lost out too, because we paid for the military jets that scrambled to escort this plane home.

6. "Make Mine a Double, Bartender"

This is something you don't want to hear in airports, because these days, drunken behavior can take on a decidedly sinister cast.

Think of that allegedly over-served fellow on a recent AirTran flight who wound up taking over a plane's lavatory and refusing to come out. His flight ended early for a date with the cops.

A different kind of flight safety issue occurred in November at Heathrow when a pilot was arrested in the cockpit as he was about to take off for Chicago. Tests revealed he had a blood alcohol reading more than three times the limit for pilots.

Note: The pilot, who has since pleaded guilty, will be sentenced in London next month. A big thank you to the crew members who turned him in.

7. "Is That Fruit of the Loom Guy on My Flight?"

We all know where the alleged Christmas Day bomber hid his explosives. Enough said.

This work is the opinion of the columnist and does not reflect the opinion of ABC News.

Rick Seaney is one of the country's leading experts on airfare, giving interviews and analysis to news organizations, including ABC News, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Reuters, The Associated Press and Bloomberg. His Web site FareCompare.com offers consumers free, new-generation software, combined with expert insider tips to find the best airline ticket deal.

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