Crime Blotter: Burglar Bottoms Out
— -- In this week's Crime Blotter, a would-be burglar is exposed by the light of the full moon; police in Wisconsin aren't sure if a goat-napper is just kidding around; and a golfer in Washington state apparently has a thing against thongs.
Would-Be Burglar Bottoms Out, Literally
K A N S A S C I T Y, Mo. — A would-be burglar was busted by a full moon — his own.
Kansas City police say a known burglar in the area saw an opening in the side of Clyde's Auto Sales shop late May 25 and tried to enter through the hole.
But the 245-pound man underestimated his girth — he got stuck after he had made it halfway through the hole, police said.
"They need to send him to an 'America's Dumbest Criminals' show," said Detective Kelly Bermond.
The 36-year-old man remained lodged in the hole for approximately eight hours before police were called to the scene.
As if being stuck in a hole wasn't enough, the alleged would-be burglar suffered another indignity: At some point during his captivity, his pants fell down, and he wasn't wearing any Fruit of the Looms — or Hanes.
"Yep, you saw everything," Bermond said. "He was there for quite some time before someone called it in and police were dispatched at about 7:45 in the morning."
The fire department had to be called to free the bare-bottomed man with a chainsaw. He was cuffed, arrested and his pants were pulled up.
The man has told police he was not trying to commit burglary but was trying to find a place to sleep.
Bermond said burglary charges would likely be filed. The man's name was not immediately released because he has not been formally charged.
Goat and Rhymes Goad Police
W A U K E S H A, Wis. — You might say someone really got the police's goat with a bizarre stunt last week — only cops aren't entirely sure the culprit was kidding around.
Police found a pygmy goat tied to a lamp post with a bit of bad poetry that may or may not contain a threat, they said.
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