Whizzinator Terminates Man's Parole

P A C I F I C, Wash. — It looks like the Whizzinator terminated Jason Smith's parole.

Sold over the Internet, the device is intended to help people foil drug tests. It features a prosthetic penis and a bag to hold drug-free urine.

But when Smith's parole officer, Nadine Wallace, spotted the device in his room during a visit, it landed him before Municipal Court Judge Stephen Rochon, officials said.

"When she paid a surprise visit, she noticed it in his place of residence," said the court administrator, Cathy Roppo. Wallace said she also found drugs and drug paraphernalia in the residence.

Smith, who pleaded guilty last year to possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license, was required by the terms of his parole to stay drug-free.

Rochon declined to hold the Whizzinator as evidence, saying it "simply grosses the court out."

Even reading company literature about the device drew laughs and groans from the gallery. According to the Whizzinator Web site, the reusable device comes with "organic heating pads" to keep the drug-free urine at body temperature, as well as a bag of dehydrated urine.

Despite his protests that the $150 device and drugs belonged to his roommate, Rochon ruled that Smith, 24, had violated his parole.

"I didn't have possession of nothing," Smith said, according to The News Tribune in Tacoma, Wash. "It was just in my house, including the Whizzinator."

Rochon revoked some of Smith's suspended jail time and ordered him to serve 164 days in jail.

Purse Foils Accused Snakenapper

S T. P E T E R S B U R G, Fla. — The aquarium tank full of snakes didn't seem suspicious. Neither did the 4-foot sword. But there was something about Daniel Beckley's purse that just didn't sit right with a St. Petersburg cabbie.

The taxi driver called police to report a suspicious passenger early June 26, after Beckley opened a woman's purse to pay him when they arrived at a budget motel.

"Never mind that he had a 4-foot sword and the snakes," said George Kajtsa, a spokesman for the Tampa Police Department.

Beckley, 24, hailed the cab off the street after robbing the home of Susan Kirkpatrick, 44, and her son, Ryan George, 18, police allege. Beckley had lived at the residence before being asked to leave.

"It is believed he snuck in during the night because he knew his way around the house," Kajtsa said. "He allegedly took a purse with about $200, two cell phones, a decorative sword, [and] four snakes."

Police suspect Beckley planned to sell the snakes and the sword.

As the officers arrived at Beckley's motel, the burglary victims were phoning police to report the theft. A quick phone call confirmed the goods in the motel room belonged to Kirkpatrick and George.

Beckley was charged with one count of residential burglary.

The nonpoisonous red, black and white reptiles — a mother Sinoloan milk snake and her three offspring — reportedly recovered from the ordeal.

"They're slithering in joy," George told the Tampa Tribune.

Game Over!

T A M P A, Fla. — Joe Kirane was only acting like a murderer, but the Tampa police officer pointing a gun at him didn't know that.

The 30-year-old actor ended up with a gash on his forehead and a pair of broken sunglasses, but it could have been much worse, police said.

The arresting officer, Gary Pruitt, said in his report that he almost fired at Kirane.

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