44. Obscured the motives behind her actions to the Devereaux Hospital staff when she was questioned about filling the bathtub.
45. Restrained herself from acting on previous visions because she felt at the time that it was wrong to kill her children.
46. Knew Rusty would have stopped her from drowning the children.
47. Describes having to actively keep her feelings in check at the time of the crime.
48. Anticipated divorce in immediate aftermath.
49. Her reaction to decrease the children's resistance by removing the bathmat demonstrates awareness that the children believed it to be wrong as well.
50. Raised the issue of Satan for the first time when she was coming to terms with what happened.
51. Her feeling that Mary, because she was a girl, was more disposable than the other children who could have been saved.
52. Knew Rusty would be "unhappy" when he learned of what had happened.
53. Did not want mother-in-law Dora to see what she had done.
54. Minimized the significance of the killings when she called Rusty -- said that they were "hurt."
55. Not surprised to see Rusty and Dora distraught.
56. Actively avoided Rusty despite having called him back to the house.
57. Ambivalence at the time of the crime.
58. Said she possibly would have done it another day, meaning she knew she did not have to.
59. Said she would probably not have done it if mother-in-law Dora had been there.
60. Did not bring up her intentions to Rusty, as they together cared for children that morning.
61. Restraint when lacked opportunity to act because she knew someone would stop her.
62. Restrained herself for 1-2 months "because I wasn't ready yet."
63. Restrained herself from acting even when she hallucinated.
64. Restrained herself even when she felt she was tormented by Satan.
65. Restrained herself even when the children were at their most upsetting.
66. Restrained herself through any impulse to "get a knife."
67. Restrained herself from telling anyone even when she was being treated.
68. Not surprised to hear a radio talk show host express outrage over her actions.