Grim Task: Notifying Fallen Soldiers' Families

Only in World War II did the military begin to send officers, who did not receive any training, to deliver the tragic news to family members, says Sledge. He explains that some soldiers nervous about the task soothed their nerves by stopping at a bar on the way to the family's home.

In June 1989, an Army report found that the casualty officers suffered psychological problems "akin to the chronic stress of living next to a nuclear or chemical disaster site" and often had trouble disassociating themselves from the families of the deceased.

And in 1994, the Army issued a regulation specifically informing officers that they shouldn't stop by liquor establishments on their way to notify families, according to Sledge's book.

"The process has improved and continues to improve," says Sledge, who interviewed dozens of grieving families. "The families know that you can't bring them back, but the most you can do is act honestly and fairly."