Sex became an obsession and an agony for Elliot.
"Finding out about sex is one of the things that truly destroyed my entire life. Sex, the very word fills me with hate," Elliot would write in his journal. "I would always covet it, I would always fantasize about it. But I would never get it."
Peter Rodger said he tried to talk about this issue with his son, but chalked Elliot's nervousness about girls to normal teenage jitters. "Of course you're going to find a girlfriend," Peter Rodger would say. "Of course you're going to fall in love. Of course you can have children. Elliot, there's no rush."
"I put it down to just straight youthful jealousy. I didn't think that he was harboring lusts of terrible deeds in his head. I didn't think that he had a plan of revenge, or all of the stuff that came out," he told Barbara Walters.
By the time Elliot reached his 18th birthday, the shy young boy had vanished, leaving behind only resentment and anger. Too terrified to approach young women, it was easier to hate them.
|"I don't understand you girls… You're attracted to the wrong kind of guy. You should be attracted to guys like me, beautiful, magnificent guys." From Elliot Rodger's journal|
The campus of the University of California at Santa Barbara sits right along the Pacific Ocean. The skies are blue and clear more days of the year here than not, and Elliot's parents thought the sunshine and college life would help their introverted son grow up. Elliot attended the nearby Santa Barbara City College, but had stopped attending classes this year.
"I thought that by putting him out there and giving him independence and integrating him into a normal society would very quickly help develop the skills that I thought was lacking in him," his father said.
But it was at college that Elliot would begin planning his day of retribution. "It was only when I first moved to Santa Barbara that I started considering the possibility of having to carry out a violent act of revenge, as the final solution to dealing with all the injustices I've had to face at the hands of women and society."
His fury towards women drew him to misogynistic websites. In one online forum he wrote, "start envisioning a world where women fear you."