Teen sex for cash: a parent’s nightmare
EmailWhen I got the call to rush out to Los Angeles to work on a project around a documentary called "Oral Sex–The New Goodnight Kiss," I was wary. I usually cover politics, women’s issues, international affairs–that sort of thing. And it just sounded so–dark. I mean, we’ve all heard for years now that sex among teens has become more transactional, and that oral sex, in an effort to maintain emotional distance, and perhaps keep one’s "virginity", is the rage. But what’s new in this story, and it’s happening in suburbs around the country according to law enforcement experts we talked with, is that young girls are now taking money for the service. Not always in any sort of formal way, but they’ll perform for twenty dollars here or there, a new purse, help with homework. In some cases, however, these girls aren’t just dealing with a new teen culture and hormone-ridden young boys. They’ve actually been marked by savvy pimps, many who have young girls working for them as friendly bait, to lure other girls in.They start to like the extra cash, and soon they are in hotel rooms with an assembly-line feel.
Feeling sick yet? I did immediately, and thought it was a world, given that my children are seven and four, I didn’t have to know about yet.
Thank goodness I went anyway. I’ve learned volumes about what will be coming my way..sooner than I think. Here’s the biggest lesson. The law enforcement types and psychologists and other experts we talked with said the only way to keep this from happening in families is for parents to be engaged. And not just around, or handling sports practice drop-off. Hyper-engaged, almost beyond the Ozzie and Harriet days. (When, arguably, parents were there but almost not engaged at all.) Because of the volcanic flow of outside influences that will reach our children one way or another, no matter how much we fight it, on-line, on TV, from friends–we have to be there every step of the way countering what they are hearing, deprogramming, offering alternatives.
Firm family rules and values and limits are key. We were told this stuff is not about money–it happens in the "best" of families, with well-intentioned parents who are not neglecting their children. But who may simply be somewhat distracted–and not paying active attention to what is going on in their children’s lives.
And talking early is critical, we were told. About sex, about feelings, about everything. Bring up all of the tough stuff when your kids will still talk to you–and you will ensure they will always talk to you. If they have a sex question at age 5 or 6 or 7–answer it. Make your family a safe place for those conversations.
Two weeks later I was having a conversation with my son about a word that "confused" him. Sexy. "I know it’s a bad word mom, and inappropriate. But what does it mean?" Before my time on this report, I might have tried to dodge–change the subject. Instead, he got probably more than he bargained for. But I’m hoping he’ll ask again.
Check out more discussion on this at www.womenomics.com
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They’ve actually been marked by savvy pimps, many who have young girls working for them as friendly bait, to lure other girls in.They start to like the extra cash, and soon they are in hotel rooms with an assembly-line feel.
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Yup Sex sells and broadcaster know it. Television abounds in it, from warped sitcoms, to outright sex for sex shows.
Posted by: Thinking | May 28, 2009, 9:52 pm 9:52 pm
And we were concerned with Bin Laden…..
Posted by: Huh | May 28, 2009, 10:29 pm 10:29 pm
People need to take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming TV for their problems, it’s the parents fault if the kids don’t know right from wrong and no one elses, it’s the parents fault if kids emulate or think TV is real life and no one elses. As for you Christian folk, putting God into kids lives isn’t gonna help, I knew so Christian kids who were more active than most. My father was an atheist and I didn’t take part in sex or drugs when I was a kid. He was a good father.
Posted by: Art | May 28, 2009, 10:52 pm 10:52 pm
Art, you are completely wrong. Teaching kids with Christian values absolutely does help. What does your atheist dad have to do with it if he was already a dad? They are talking about teens.
Posted by: sexygop | May 29, 2009, 12:59 am 12:59 am
You all are acting like you are surprised because these girls are white but the truth is is that white girls have been doing this for quite some times. The black guys used to tell stories of how these girls were easy to take to bed. I am a black female from Florida and I was shipped to a white school in the early eighties and found that the white girls were heavy into oral sex, abortions, sex, partying and drugs. I do not believe that white people want to face the truth about an old issue. Why do you think black men choose white girls and women because they say that they are much more freakier than black girls and women. Do the research…just ask the black guys, if they are honest they will tell you. I was living in the projects and made a number of white girlfriends at this school and found that a number of them were heavy into sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I cannot believe that you all are surprised by this. The media likes to make the public believe that only the black girls are doing this when it is actually the other way around.
Posted by: Elaine | May 29, 2009, 7:41 am 7:41 am
As a single parent of a 14 and 12 year old boys I have become aware of this situation. I would love to hear this story told from the boys perspective too. At this point I had to show in detail the STD’s you can contract from oral sex…Thank God for google images!
Posted by: Crazie | May 29, 2009, 8:21 am 8:21 am
Yep, and they wonder why we are a nation in decline. Morality is just one of the pillars to a prosperous society.
Posted by: Ben Straub | May 29, 2009, 9:23 am 9:23 am
Wake up! Morality is not man-made, nor can it be. The values of what are right vs. wrong, did not get contrived by men. It’s impossible to any who are smart enough to meditate on the subject.
But this country has been brainwashed by the education systems from the lowest to the highest, that we came from evolutionary proteins, then developed language by some impossible chance, and came up with morals on our own, and invented the religion of God, too.
Why would anybody… anybody at all, ever think up a system in which pleasures are taboo? It just does not follow. Why outlaw the very things all guys and girls love – sexual pleaure? Nobody would. Only a moral, righteous God, would declare His commandments to His creation. No other way.
And we are in rebellion.
Everybody knows it, deep down. The facade, the masquerade, the lying, the deceit, the bribery, the corruption, the naked children being shown in magazine ads, etc.
You’re all fools for acting like this is something happening for which you don’t really know why.
Posted by: Real | May 29, 2009, 9:29 am 9:29 am
“Feeling sick yet?”
No.
“The law enforcement types and psychologists and other experts we talked with said the only way to keep this from happening in families is for parents to be engaged.”
Great, let us make more “victims”. More work for the “experts”.
“Bring up all of the tough stuff when your kids will still talk to you”
They are not “tough”. Thinking that they are “tough” is just a stupid, moralistic viewpoint.
“I might have tried to dodge–change the subject. Instead, he got probably more than he bargained for.”
Good for you! We should finally recognize that truth and giving information is always a good thing.
PS: The only tough things are the mistakes you can’t repair. Like catching AIDS, or hitting a wall on a motorcycle while going 100Kmph
Posted by: George | May 29, 2009, 9:30 am 9:30 am
What is the difference between a prostitute and a stay-at-home wife who lets her husband support her?
The prostitute is paid a fee for a specific service and can choose her customrs. The non-working wife has only one client but provides sexual, reproductive, and housecleaning work for room and board.
Posted by: Hates hypocrisy | May 29, 2009, 1:39 pm 1:39 pm
I can’t believe people don’t understand why this is happening! It’s so obvious!
Early sex education and a moving away from morals (mainly religious, but in general too) are the cause of this, and that’s all there is to it.
Society should think ahead to the consequences of its actions. How could it not have foreseen this, when kids are being taught HOW to perform oral sex and that it is perfectly okay at an age as young as grade 7? Do you not think that kids will act upon this teaching in the way they currently are?
Posted by: Logic | May 31, 2009, 11:26 am 11:26 am
@Logic – I respectfully disagree.
I went to a school that did teach sex education, but in no way do they teach you HOW to have sex or to perform oral sex. In fact, sex education is usually just one subject under the umbrella of a Health class – only focused on for about a week or two. All they do is tell you about the things you can do to prevent STDs and pregnancy – condoms, birth control, dental dams, etc. It’s not like they get people to come up and give a demonstration.
In fact, my health class was given in 9th grade, and it was BEFORE that you heard all the crazy stories of the sexual things that people were doing. After that, people knew how to be responsible – though not everyone would be. Some people are just dumb…even when they know what will make them safe they don’t do it.
As the blogger says, I think it truly is a lack of information, from both the school and the parents, that causes teens to do things like this. This generation’s teenagers grew up in a world with movies like “American Pie,” where sex and varieties of it were treated as nothing more than a goal to reach before prom. I’m not saying to blame the media, but that good balance of “I want this, but I have some moral guidance,” hasn’t really been emphasized for this generation. There will always be kids that don’t listen to what their conscience tells them and will do what they think they need to to be accepted. It’s that kind of attitude that we need to work to change.
Posted by: rain | June 1, 2009, 7:41 am 7:41 am
Parents need to educate their children. It’s not up to the school system to do their job. When parents do not provide their children with the correct information the children will either receive it from their friends or test things out themselves. You have to have an open line of communication with your children. If they feel that they cannot come to you and ask questions, they will be at risk for learning the hard way.
Posted by: Kela | June 1, 2009, 9:55 am 9:55 am