A Father’s Day Message From President Obama

Comments today from President Obama, speaking at a White House conference on dads:

Fathers are our first teachers and coaches. They're our mentors. They're our role models. They set an example of success, and they push us to succeed, encourage us when we're struggling, and they love us even when we disappoint them, and they stand by us when nobody else will. And when fathers are absent, when they abandon the responsibilities to their children, we know the damage that that does to our families. Some of you know the statistics. Children who grow up without fathers are more likely to drop out of school and wind up in prison. They're more likely to have substance abuse problems, run away from home and become teenage parents themselves. 

And I say this as someone who grew up without a father in my own life. Now I had a heroic mom and wonderful grandparents who helped raise me and my sister, and it's because of them that I'm able to stand here today. But despite all their extraordinary love and attention, that doesn't mean that I didn't feel my father's absence. That's something that leaves a hole in a child's heart that a government can't fill. Our government can build the best schools with the best teachers on Earth, but we still need fathers to ensure that the kids are coming home and doing their homework and having a book instead of the TV remote every once in a while. Government can put more cops on the streets, but only fathers can make sure that those kids aren't on the streets in the first place.

Government can create good jobs, but we need fathers to train for these jobs and hold down these jobs and provide for their families. If we want our children to succeed in life, we need fathers to step up. We need fathers to understand that their work doesn't end with conception; what truly makes a man a father is the ability to raise the child and invest in that child. And we need fathers to be involved in their kids' lives not just when it's easy, not just during the afternoons in the park or at the zoo, when it's all fun and games, but when it's hard, when young people are struggling and there aren't any quick fixes or easy answers. And that's when young people need compassion and patience, as well as a little bit of tough love. Now this is a challenge even in good times, and it can be especially tough during times like these, when parents have a lot on their minds. They're worrying about keeping their jobs or keeping their homes or their health care, paying their bills, trying to give their children the same opportunities that they had.

And so it's understandable that parents get concerned. Some fathers who feel they can't support their families get distracted. And even those who are more fortunate may be physically present, but emotionally absent. And I know that some of the young men who are here today might have their own concerns one day about being a dad. Some of you might be worried that, if you didn't have a father, then you don't know how to be one when your turn comes. Some of you might even use that as an excuse and say, well, if my dad wasn't around, why should I be? Let's be clear. Just because your own father wasn't there for you, that's not an excuse for you to be absent, also. It's all the more reason for you to be present. Now, there's no rule that says that you have to repeat your father's mistakes. Just the opposite: You have an obligation to break the cycle, and to learn from those mistakes and to rise up where your own fathers fell short and to do better than — than they did, with your own children.