Check out Sue Shellenbarger's column on Womenomics. I've admired her take and research on this subject for a long time. Terrific to get a mention there!
And look at her column today in the paper. Great research–information that all of us control freak moms know in our guts–that we need to leave the dads alone to parent as they want. It's not easy to do–as you watch your little one fly through the air in a clearly unstable grip–or wonder whether that wipe has really done it's job–or notice that none of the food on the plate went into the little tummies. But there's no question that relaxing, and embracing the idea that another style of parenting will be healthy for your child will help both your child and your marriage.
We actually write a bit about that in Womenomics–and also the idea that you also can't judge your spouse for not wanting to spend as much time at home as you do. That was a tough one for me—but once I realized that even if my husband were a full-time dad, I'd still want the same time with my kids–it became easier to let go of that red herring. And same with obsessing. I can't expect him to obsess like I do about all things kid-related. That's my turf–and if I want to spend time there–fine. But I can't burden him with that.
A lot of people have asked us on our book tour about whether part of the solution involves some sort of equality on the home front. What do you think?