Apr 7, 2010 12:01pm
Painful Complexity of the Phoebe Prince Suicide
EmailAfter such thoughtful response to yesterday's set-up post and on Twitter, embedded below is Andrea Canning's report from last night "Bullied to Death."
It does, I think as best as possible, look at the many sides to this tragic story and all its finger-pointing — painted on a backdrop alarmingly familiar for most. I'm from Massachusetts, and it's certainly not a story to be proud of.
For now, criminalizing bullying remains a disputed topic. In the case of the nine teens charged in connection to Phoebe Prince's suicide, the alleged bullies are now the targets of bullying — which really speaks to the problem.
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They deliberately drove a child to suicide. They are proud of it — after she died, one of them wrote “accomplished” on her Facebook page.
And now they are not popular. Well, there’s a surprise.
I don’t understand the point. If bullying becomes illegal — if fewer children bully other children and then become unpopular — how does this “speak to the problem”?
Posted by: Paul | April 7, 2010, 1:48 pm 1:48 pm
The bullies should be tried as adults for murder in the first degree, convicted, and given the death penalty. There is absolutely no excuse for bullying. Bullies sick, depraved people, who go on to vicious lives of crime.
Posted by: Proud Native American and Angry Independent Voter | April 7, 2010, 3:39 pm 3:39 pm
The bullies definitely did something wrong, but it is not their fault she killed herself. Let’s not bully the bullies by putting that on them. They’re children too. Bullying has been around since the beginning of schools and it will not go away no matter what we do. We could try listening to children better and make teasing illegal, but then that infringes on the rights of free speech and makes America less free for children who really don’t understand what they’re doing. We could try making counseling mandatory for all children, but that’s expensive and probably wouldn’t work and there are parents that might have issues with that. We should just make public schools illegal.
Posted by: Amanda | April 7, 2010, 6:38 pm 6:38 pm
this wasn’t ‘teasing’, amanda. these kids deserve everything that comes to them. it’s kind of ironic that they’re now feeling harrassed, online and elsewhere.
Posted by: Sara | April 7, 2010, 7:04 pm 7:04 pm
It is their fault Phoebe is dead. They should be tried, and if they are still not remorseful, the punishment should be harsh. Of course, bad being repaid for bad is not a good thing and bullying the bullies will never “speak to the problem.” The violence has to end somewhere. I agree that the bullies are “children,” but they have to pay for what they’ve done to learn there are consequences for every action. Making an example has to start somewhere and it hasn’t been done before now, because incidents like the one at Columbine High School weren’t existent in the old days of bullying. If such incidents were known, bullying would be illegal.
Posted by: Jennie | April 7, 2010, 8:07 pm 8:07 pm
The teens responsible for her death deserve every bit of what they are getting. There is a point where teasing goes beyond just being aggravating or annoying or a jerk. Pushing a girl to the point of suicide because she crossed some invisible line in their perfect little high school kingdom is absolutely absurd. I would not be able to live in peace with myself if any actions of mine ever caused such a thing. And if any of those kids can live with themselves in peace and feel no remorse they deserve the death penalty and a spot in the deepest circle of hell. That is my opinion.
Posted by: Rebecca | April 7, 2010, 11:09 pm 11:09 pm
The good news is we are beginning to see more and more a legal precedent allowing kids to take legal action against perpetrators of school place harassment (i.e. bullies.) When “bullying” crosses the line and turns into and assault, stalking and intimidation. I predict eventually we’ll see cases where Parents of bullied victims will be able to file harassment charges against both, the parents of the “bully” and against the school system itself (in some cases the parents of the bully may have deeper pockets.) In these cases, parents of a “bullied” kid will carefully document events, collect evidence (Facebook, for example an excellent source,) and acquire witnesses, all of which will be used to press harassment charges against the bullies, their parents, and perhaps the school system itself.
Posted by: Curt | April 7, 2010, 11:36 pm 11:36 pm
Really amazing, isn’t it? So Phoebe is now Nicole, and the “Mean Girls” are OJ. All we need is a Johnny Cocharan to bring out the “glove that don’t fit” so that they must acquit!!!
How incredibly sick and twisted things are these days. Give it another week, Phoebe will be the villian and the “poor, poor , mean girls will have all of us reaching for boxes of kleenex”.
If these kids and their families are having it so bad, well go live with a relative – oh, did I say “live”. How nice that they have that choice. Phoebe and her family don’t, do they?
Posted by: Mounties72 | April 8, 2010, 2:13 am 2:13 am
Suicide is a SIN!
Corinthians 3:16-17 – “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.”
Enjoy your stay in hell Phoebe!!
Posted by: Pedro Bear | April 8, 2010, 9:15 am 9:15 am
Pedro – Are you the Almighty Judge now? Who are you to judge anyone? God claims the right to judge us. Are you wresting that right from Him? Find me a quote from the Bible that says you have the right to judge Phoebe or anyone else for that matter. So sick of people claiming to be such good Christians and then spewing hatred like that. Shame on you. We all sin. Get over it.
You weren’t there. None of us were there. Nobody was there for Phoebe. That is the heart of this whole mess.
Posted by: Deba | April 8, 2010, 10:23 am 10:23 am
I am baffled that these teens are now upset that they are being bullied. It seemed it was ok behavior when they were doing it to others but once the target is them it is no longer cool. What gives?
Posted by: jennifer C | April 8, 2010, 10:38 am 10:38 am
Deba, you may not be familiar with the bible, or quotation marks for that matter. If you would reread my comment, especially the part between the ” (Those are quotation marks. You use them when you take a line from a source. In this case, the Bible). I also listed the book as well before the quotes. You are right I am not the judge, I am also not one to question the word of God. God gave Phoebe a temple that contained his spirit. She destroyed said temple, thereby spatting in the face of God. It clearly states God will destory those who destroy his temple. Phoebe’s fate will be that of the rest of the murderers, suicide is murder!
Suicide – noun – The act or an instance of intentionally killing oneself.
Killing with no chance to repent sounds like a good way to secure your spot in the lake of fire to me.
Don’t blame me for spewing hatred, it’s been laid out for years, I don’t make the rules. You have a problem with it, that’s between you and your creator!
Posted by: Pedro Bear | April 8, 2010, 10:40 am 10:40 am
Is there really a need to be quoting the bible right now? How about quoting something that deals with the horror of the whole situation and not against the victim? This poor girl was tormented and beaten down. Do you really think its appropriate to attack her right now?
Posted by: Sweetpea4 | April 8, 2010, 1:39 pm 1:39 pm
Pedro, I am consoled by Matthew 18:6, as follows “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Posted by: femme_flamingo | April 8, 2010, 2:15 pm 2:15 pm
What happened to Phoebe enrages me. And the fact that some believe that Phoebe is responsible for her own death, just goes to prove how mean and not understanding of how people who are bullied feel. These teens drove her to kill herself, giving her the feelings that being dead would be better than putting up with what she was experiencing. Pheobe could have gone the other way, and took out her torment on the tormentors. Instead of killing herself, she could have killed the others. I listened to a student in my English class tell us that Phoebe was weak and it wasn’t the bullies fault that she killed herself. It was her own fault that she couldn’t handle what was happening to her. She said that the weakminded and weak spirited only killed themselves. I automatically knew that this student had been a bully when she went to school, and had picked on the less strong, to make herself feel better, and she was still trying to do it with the dead. These teens are getting what they deserve, now that their lives have been completely turned upside down because of petty jealousy, and the idea that they were better than anyone else in their school.
Posted by: Dawn | April 15, 2010, 10:36 am 10:36 am
In a sense, I agree that the bullies didn’t make Phoebe kill herself; people kill themselves because they don’t have the resources to cope with a situation and they see no other alternative; but what the bullies did was create a situation very few 15-year old girls (or anyone, for that matter) could withstand. The teachers and staff at the schoool did nothing to help her, and apparently most of the students stood by (which is sad but somewhat understandable considering the viciousness of this particular gang of bullies who seem to be dominating the school). The schools need to quit screwing around by giving bullies detention. Slaps on the hand like detention make the situation worse; it gives the offending students even more of an excuse to hate and persecute their victim. Kids that bully need to be pulled out of the schools and sent to counseling WITH THEIR PARENTS and only allowed to return to the school when counselors feel they are unlikely to re-offend. I’ve read a lot of comments where it seems like people say either the fault is with the victim or that this is just usual high school “bad” behavior, but this sounds extreme; physical abuse, mental abuse, harrassment, threat of bodily harm, social exclusion. I read that some of the kids at the school feel they are all being tarred by the same brush, however, if one of those kids had gone to a teacher and told the teacher the extent of what was going on, and the staff had gotten involved in this situation, that girl might still be alive. Almost the entire school let her down.
Posted by: Meg | April 15, 2010, 4:19 pm 4:19 pm
listen, i was bullied online with libel and begged my school to help me remove the posts and they did. the united states needs to charge kids who bully kids online, through phones, and though in person verbal abuses and threats, which i have received all of the above for reasons of jealousy, but people are cruel and mean and don’t know how much they can hurt another person. I was so sad to see this on the front of a magazine but am thrilled something is going to be done. this isn’t treatment we should be giving other kids, we are the melting pot, where everyone is welcome.
Posted by: shopper_girl | April 20, 2010, 2:46 am 2:46 am
Bullying is an inaccurate description of the stalking these people did to Phoebe Prince. These teenagers are not “children” as they had a full understanding of what actions they were taking and the potential consequences of their cruelty. They should be prosecuted, have criminal records and to an extent for the rest of their lives, be known as individuals who chose to torment a girl to death. They still have the chance and the choice to change their behavior, accept accountability and move on with their lives. Phoebe Prince and her family no longer have that opportunity.
Posted by: Marie | April 25, 2010, 9:56 am 9:56 am
Poor girl, i hope justice is made and God takes care of her now… Kids need to understand that bullying is a crime!!
Posted by: faith | May 5, 2010, 5:09 pm 5:09 pm
Its not just students, but sometimes teachers who bully.
Also, some college professors bully, stalk, or harass their students. I know of one who does, and she’s about to get a restraining order slapped on her. Professors should keep their personal opinions of their students to themselves, and do what they are paid to do: teach.
Posted by: Lirin | July 21, 2010, 12:22 am 12:22 am