“The major purpose of this test is to show our anger to the hostile actions of the U.S. and show off our will and capability to protect our sovereign right to the end.”
-North Korean government, in a statement after the country successfully tested a nuclear device underground
“Customs and Border Protection officers and agents from the Office of Field Operations, the U.S. Border Patrol and the Office of Air and Marine are providing assistance in the search as requested from law enforcement authorities.”
-US Boarder Patrol statement, on extending the dragnet for fugitive Christopher Dorner to as far south as the Mexican border
“She’s always talking about, she wanted me to come pick her up from school. Now she’s picking me up.”
-Randolph Arledge, on his daughter who will finally be picking him up from prison after new DNA evidence exonerated him from a 1984 murder in Texas.
“Dead bodies are rising from their graves, and attacking the living…Do not intend to approach or apprehend these bodies as they are extremely dangerous.”
-Hackers who interrupted a Montana television station’s regular programming with news of a zombie apocalypse. The hoax alert generated at least four calls to police to see if it was true, according to Great Falls Tribune.
“It’s not a case of what’s wrong with wrestling, it is what’s right with the 25 core sports.”
-International Olympic Committee spokesman, on why the IOC was dropping wrestling from the Olympic Games in 2020.