Bringing Romance into Marriage- Amidst a BUSY Life!

Mar 1, 2011 2:06pm

Dear Liz,

How can I make my marriage of 23 years more romantic. I work a full tie job. I am a student full time. By the time I get home and finish doing what needs to be done for the home and family I am ready for bed. The husband needs quality time, but when can I make time?

 

Philadelphia/PA

 

Dear Romantically in need….  A full time job and a full time student and duties of the home and family? This is challenging. In terms of making time for one another, I do think it is crucial…for maintaining a connected and great marriage.  I would begin by reminding you that just like we change over time, so does romanticism.  You guys have been together a long time, and even though you might miss the romantic stuff from back in the day, there are new and different ways to get there.  In terms of finding real time to spend together, you might think about  dipping into class or work time, and it could be worth it.  It could show your husband how important he is at the same time that it might help bond and connect the two of you for some time after. It sounds like you realistically have no time left.  Borrowing time from some of your responsibilities might be worth it., but that will be isolated, so…  

            In terms of everyday romanticism, I think it's possible, you just have to commit and get creative.  Remember when you used to write him notes? We all did I think, write him a note from time to time leave it in the bathroom, in the car, in his shoe, or his wallet.  Tell him you love him!  When you shop for food get him something you know he loves,  that’s terrible for him and bring it to him before you go to bed. And I hate to say it, but what about date night? You don’t mention if you work nights- If neither of you does,  pick a night and go out!  Get a sitter, do whatever you can to get alone with him.  Believe me getting alone with him is perhaps the most romantic thing you two will have done in a while.   Make a picnic on the living room floor, go to the beach, get your brain wrapped around thinking a little differently and I bet you will be able to turn the tide there and bring some fun loving into your lives. The most important part of this is that you realize, which clearly you do, that making time even if just a few moments in the day can and will make a difference.  You are clearly a highly efficient multi-tasker, you just have to add this to the tasks!

 

Good loving to you- Let me know how it goes!

Liz

 

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