Long Distance Marriage – Coming Together!

Mar 2, 2011 8:22pm


Dear Liz- First, congratulations are in order! Second, so I've been trying to finish a PhD in Baltimore while my now husband has been in Chicago. We have been spending a large amount of money going back and forth and now that the light is at the end of the tunnel and it looks like this distance is close to ending with both of us moving to Texas for his job, I'm terrified of resenting him for me moving for him, and making it harder for me to find employment. Any advice on how to lessen that resentment and just be happy that after three years we'll be living in the same house? Many thanks- Melinda

Melinda, Baltimore, MD


Hi Melinda, and thank you, I am loving it!

Thanks for writing and indeed I think I can shed a little light on this for you!

 Melinda, you are his wife, you guys are a team – that is what marriage is.  In this economy and with the idea that you two have spent such a long time apart…you must find it in yourself to be not only, not resentful, but grateful.  It helps to remember that your life has a fate and you have to trust in that fate, try it.  I’m also a firm believer in, it’s all in how you look at it.  You simply must choose for yourself to see this for what it is. A blessing.  You get to live as husband and wife, AND your husband has a job.  Make Texas work baby!

P.S. If there comes a time when you feel the resentment rising, look it in the face and tell it it’s wrong!

Good luck and many happy days for the two of you.



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