Dating After Marriage- And Patience!

Apr 14, 2011 12:10pm

DearLiz: I am a 43 yr old single mom. Dad has passed away. I am just out of another 10 year relationship and am in the dating scene again. I found someone that I would very much like to get to know better. He too is out of the dating scene for 10 years. We have been on 3 dates and had the exclusive talk on our last one. My issue is that he has gone two days without talking to me. I thought for sure I would hear from him and I didn't ….Am I just being too anxious to have this relationship happen already?? Am I expecting too much that he might text a good morning or call me at night to check in? I do NOT want to push him away but I do think that it is important to let people know how we are feeling. I did text him in the middle of the night last night explaining that I would like to hear from him more and I have heard NOTHING …so now I wonder if I have pushed him over the edge. Any help I would greatly appreciate. Jodi




Hi Hinsdale,


Yes, I think you are expecting too much.  Everyone has their own pace, neither is right or wrong!  Think of this time as a growing to know him time.  I would suggest you lay all the way back, that doesn’t mean you don’t have your feelings, but no, don’t share your “I’d like contact at this time and that time” needs right now.  You are getting to know him and he you.   Take a chill pill and let it ride.  Especially if you already let him know through a text that you would like contact… and he didn’t respond.  If you like him, give him his space.  You don’t want to scare him off before this even really gets going.  Give it some time, and then access and see if his habits etc…fit into your idea of a relationship! You must remember that everyone has their own way of breaking into a relationship.  Compromise and understanding are key at this stage.  Think of it as taking a hike with someone who is slower, you’ve got to turn around occasionally and wait for them, it’s not the end of the world!

Good luck.




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