Dear Liz, I'm in a relationship that I'm not very proud of. My 27-year-old boyfriend who lives with me does not take his life seriously. He has horrible habits. He doesn't have a job, a car or a degree. He has a great personality but he doesn't take criticism very well. At this point I'm ready to give up. I've tried breaking up with him several times but he thinks I'm joking. Sometimes I want to be with him and other times I don't. I try to motivate him all the time but either way it seems like he doesn't want to get it. It’s very disappointing because I'm a senior in college and growing up. I saw my dad take care of my mom and he can barely do that for me as we are both struggling at this point. What should I do?
Stone Mountain, GA
I'm so glad you’ve taken the time to articulate in a letter what is going on in your relationship. You provide just enough for me to suggest you break up with your boyfriend for real. The– I want to be with him sometimes and not others, is common when we know in our hearts we’ve come to the end of the road. You describe it perfectly. Far as he not taken the past few break up’s from you seriously, I imagine when you present it differently, with conviction, he’ll know you mean it. Moving forward will be a challenge as you still have feelings for him, and change is difficult, but it sounds to me like you truly need to do this.
Remember to stay true to who you are, in this case that means you know better than to imagine this is a healthy reasonable relationship. You sound to be on a good track in life, one in which you can feel proud. It’s amazing how freed up you may feel when this is all over. Give yourself some time so sift through emotionally with this guy, and believe that you deserve great living!