‘I Hide From My Kid in the Bathroom’: 10 Scary Mommy Confessions

By ABC News

May 2, 2013 2:36pm
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                                                                                        (Image Credit: Courtesy Jill Smokler)

We’ve heard all about “helicopter moms” — the parents being hyperinvolved in their kids’ lives.

What about “submarine mom”?

“I have absolutely hidden from my child. … [Y]ou just have to sometimes. I will be in the bathroom with my laptop … and my son will be running amok in the condo, but he doesn’t know where I am, and I can work.”

So said Nikki Harvey in an interview with “20/20″ anchor Elizabeth Vargas. Harvey is one of thousands of mothers who have posted on the Scary Mommy Confessional, an anonymous forum where moms can spill juicy secrets, fears and anything they wouldn’t be proud tweeting or posting on Facebook.

The Confessional is a page on Scary MommyJill Smokler‘s popular parenting blog. Smokler says the Confessional has garnered more than 310,000 confessions from women — and men — looking to tell somebody that secret that is eating them up inside. Here are Smokler’s top 10 confessions.

Watch the full story on “20/20: Confessions” Friday at 10 ET

  1. I spent most of yesterday’s car ride fantasizing about pulling the car over, kicking my two fighting kids out, and peeling the hell out of there while blasting some music and flipping them off.
  2. My kid’s awkward phase is embarrassing ME.
  3. I just picked an oreo crumb off my shirt and ate it. Except it wasn’t an oreo crumb. It was a tiny poop pellet from my son’s diaper. Oddly, I wasn’t all that disgusted. I’ve been a Mom for a long time.
  4. If I’d known what motherhood was really like, I would never have had children to begin with. 
  5. I let my toddler shoot me with his toy gun so that I can take a power nap while I play dead.
  6. In the shopping centre today, I nearly dropped my 6-year-old at the lost children point and pretended he wasn’t mine. I know how bad that sounds, but his attitude was THAT BAD. And I am THAT TIRED.
  7. I wish parenting came with an instruction manual. That’s why I sometimes would rather be at work because I already know what’s expected of me.
  8. Took a bubble bath, shaved my stuff, and put on a teeny tiny nighty for my hubby. He was so turned on that he pulled me close for a passionate kiss. As he ran his fingers through my hair, two small Legos fell out.
  9. Today I decided it was time for revenge. I stood outside the bathroom door and shouted and knocked while DD was pooping. It felt good.
  10. I accidentally caught a glimpse of my naked self in the mirror today and was horrified. I literally didn’t recognize my body.
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