James Earl Jones Was The Best Part of Pregnancy
by GIGI, Kludgy Mom
Million Moms Challenge Blogger
It’s early morning here, and my family is all still asleep. My stomach is growling and I’m pondering what I’m going to have for breakfast.
I spend a lot of time planning my next meal, by the way.
And it got me thinking about when I was pregnant with Boy Wonder. My stomach was a digestive lioness, constantly on the hunt for more and more and more food.
God, those were the good old days. The best part of my pregnancy was the food.
It started early on in the first tri. My husband and I were driving in the car and I felt that first pang of hunger. I told him I wanted something to eat. My husband dutifully started suggesting places he would love to go have dinner.
He (and I) didn’t yet understand that my pregnancy hunger pang was not just a ”um, hi, it’s time to eat” kind of hunger. It had a voice. James Earl Jones, namely. A deep, rich, knowing, commanding voice. Think The Lion King.
“I was thinking more of a burger place, maybe. I’m not really in the mood for Mexican,” my husband said.
James Earl Jones spoke again, only this time it was the Darth Vader version.
“I need a chimichanga and I need it right now.” (insert heavy Darth-like breathing here since my pants had started to get really tight)
My husband looked into my tortilla-starved eyes. He saw wild desperation. Ravenous need. Fierce determination. Knowing that nothing was going to satisfy me like a plate of deep-fried beefy goodness (extra sour cream and guacamole, please), he turned the car around and took me forthwith to the nearest Mexican restaurant.
My chimichanga couldn’t arrive fast enough. I was Neo in the Matrix, slowing down the rest of time while I made deft work of my plate of Mexican deliciousness, knife and fork twisting and spinning like nunchucks.
It was good.
James Earl made frequent cameos throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. He demanded that I prepare from scratch a two-layer chocolate cake and then eat the entire thing.
He ordered me to make French Toast and indulge in In and Out Burger and insist that my husband drive me nightly for soft serve ice cream.
Yeah, James Earl and I became really close.
3 weeks before I was due to give birth, my husband and I went to one of our favorite local dives in Arizona called The Satisfied Frog (which was an apt term for me, given my 70 pound weight gain). He looked on, amused at me, as I downed a full order of steak fajitas.
“Are you having dessert?”
As if there is ever a question. Pfft.
I perused my options.
James Earl declared, “I will have the strawberry shortcake.”
The Satisfied Frog’s Strawberry Shortcake is not just any old strawberry shortcake.
It is massive. It is the diameter of a small Domino’s Pizza and sits about 5 inches high. It is meant to feed 4 humans. Or one food obsessed pregnant lady whose body has been overtaken by James Earl Jones.
I finished every last bite of that strawberry shortcake. James Earl was happy.
8 hours later, I went into labor. 24 hours later, Boy Wonder arrived. Chubby beyond words and nearly 9 pounds at 3 weeks early, he had clearly been happy about sharing the dispossession of my gut with James Earl.
I’d like to say that James Earl never returned. But the fact is, he comes back to visit me more often than I’d probably like.
Those are the days that I decide to happily indulge in a chimichanga.
I’m participating in a super cool project called the Million Moms Challenge, which is led by ABC News and the UN Foundation. Its mission is to connect moms in the U.S. with moms overseas about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting topics. So cool.
Becoming pregnant changed my life, and I’d love to hear more about your best or most difficult pregnancy moments. By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an all expenses paid trip to a conference on mothers hosted by the UN Foundation in DC (Jan/Feb 2012), an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.
Please join the Million Moms Challenge and sign up!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs September 19 to October 16, 2011. A random winner will be announced by October 18, 2011.