What DIDN’T Shock Me About Labor?
Today, I was asked to write about the most shocking part of labor as part of the Million Moms Challenge.
THE most shocking part of labor?
Ha! What WASN’T shocking for me about labor, is a better question!
I was shocked…
1. To learn that contractions do not, in fact, feel like menstrual cramps. Cramps are dull pain. Contractions feel like someone just placed a blazing hot cast iron skillet on the inside of your uterus.
2. That it would take so long. I am a very timely person. I like to do multiple things at a time. I am efficient and productive. 17 hours of sitting around waiting for a pumpkin-headed child to get out of my belly really set off my schedule.
3. At how tired MY labor made MY husband. I think after my son was born, he sneaked off to “use the restroom” and actually went to the nearby spa for a massage while I laid around in a withered mess. He then refused to get me Chili’s takeout, saying he was too tired, and brought me Whataburger instead.
4. That I hadn’t really researched what a vacuum procedure entails. Yeah. So, I shouldn’t have gone for that option, because I am pretty sure they literally maneuvered a Hoover Wind Tunnel into me to suck my baby’s head down into the birth canal. Which feels like getting ripped in half, by the way.
5. To discover there was something called a “push present.” I am thinking that my husband didn’t know about it either, since all I got was a donut pillow for my butt and the aforementioned Whataburger. He *was* tired, after all.
6. That a labor and delivery bed has a detachable bottom half. Did you? You shouldn’t. I know this because the bottom half of mine collapsed while I was laying in it and trying to eat my delicious and nutritious Whataburger meal. After I was ripped in half by a vacuum cleaner and/or my baby’s head.
7. That I got no rest the evening after giving birth. What up with that? I assumed that they would leave me alone to rest and recover. I was already a bit skittish while I laid there, wondering if my bed was going to collapse again (presumably from my 70-pound, chimichanga-and-ice-cream-induced pregnancy weight gain?). But they left the little guy in the room with me. And checked on him every 4.8 minutes. And absolutely HAD to give him a hearing test at 3:25 a.m. I guess I should have enjoyed the previous night of beauty sleep!
Most importantly, I was and am still shocked at how that little guy captured my heart…and still does.
Childbirth is such an incredible moment, and I’d love to know what went through your mind when you held your baby for the first time? By replying, you will be entered to win an exclusive Million Moms Challenge Gift Pack, which includes an iPad2, a custom-made Million Moms Challenge pendant and a $50 donation in your name to Global Giving.
Please join the Million Moms Challenge and sign up today!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Million Moms Challenge. The opinions and text are all mine. Contest runs October 17 to November 13, 2011. A random winner will be announced by November 15, 2011.