How I Became a Candy Addict

My parents did quite a few questionable things when I was growing up.

Like as a baby, I slept in a laundry basket that was suspended from the ceiling.  And my dad would throw me in one of those baby backpacks and take me out on his MOTORCYCLE. And sometimes, when I was a little older, they would plop me on a wooden seat on the back of one of their bicycles.  No straps. I mean, straps are for pansies, right?!

(I sort of laugh about it now as a I tightly buckle my own toddlers in 5 point harnesses in rear facing car seats with absolutely no peripheral vision because of side impact head protectors.)

But one of the most horrible things my parents ever did to me was make me eat carob cake.  And even worse, for my eighth birthday, my dad got me a carrot cake. Classic child abuse.

But not to be outdone, my mom would take me to the health food store and let me pick out a “special treat” and I’d be forced to choose these lame sesame honey candies because it was the best thing in the store. It’s no wonder that when Halloween rolled around, I put my candy in a locked safe. I couldn’t take any chances.

Generally, the only sugar in my house was Ovaltine so when no one was around, I’d climb up on the counter and shovel spoonfuls into my mouth.

I know my parents had the best intentions but I think they may have turned me into a candy addict. You know those run down dreck candy stores all over Manhattan? My own personal paradise. I love practically everything in there. Yes, even the gummy colas.

I’ve tried to achieve more of a balance with my own kids. I do make sure that the foods I buy don’t contain high fructose corn syrup. Because it’s unhealthy and icky and unnecessary. And I buy organic whenever possible.

But I definitely allow them treats. Like cupcakes. And cookies. And candy.

I’m absolutely sure I’m saving them from a lifetime of candy addiction.

Or you know, maybe not. But hopefully, I’ve found a balance.

My daughter Summer’s 5th birthday is coming up soon. She can have any kind of cake she wants.

With no carrots whatsoever.

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