Once again, I report to you — regrettably — that the US Airways militants continue to hold my beloved blue bag hostage, with no word of when they will return it or any of the other thousands of bags it has decided to kidnap.
Blue-ie was last seen on Sunday in Philadelphia, when the extremists at US Airways forced me to turn him over. They promised to return him to me in Toronto.
Two days have passed since then, with a scary computer-automated voice "named" Alex, and some poor schlub in Guatemala being the only ones to tell me that, yes, Blue-ie will return to my side some day…though they still do not know his whereabouts.
Is he in Mosul? Brasile? A "Usual Suspects"-esque tanker?
Today I phoned the Senior Vice President of Communications for US Airways, Elise Eberwein, to see what on earth I could possibly do to get Blue-ie back to me.
She seemed like an airline "moderate" with whom perhaps I could negotiate, someone who might be reasonable.
After all, she looked pleasant enough and in a newspaper called the East Valley Tribune offered some advice to readers (CLICK HERE) that didn’t make much sense but involved her putting on a stinky wrinkled white shirt because that’s what the "rules" required her to do. (Lesson — be yourself!! Awesome advice, Elise!)
But like so many before her, the Senior Vice President of Communications begged off communicating…she refused to acknowledge any connection to the thugs who have stolen my beloved bag. She wouldn’t take the call, or return it.
I am still at the mercy of the midnight bandits, the militants who operate within US Airways with the tactit approval of US Airways corportate governance.
I will continue to keep you updates as the hostage crisis continues.