President Obama: ‘I Know I Have Been an Imperfect Father’

As you sort through coupon leaflets to pick up this Sunday’s issue of PARADE Magazine, you may notice our 44th president, Barack Obama, along with first tweens Sasha and Malia, on the cover.
On your way to “Ask Marilyn” (Listed in The Guinness Book of World Records Hall of Fame as the person with the highest IQ, Marilyn vos Savant has been writing the popular “Ask Marilyn” column for PARADE since 1986) and a recipe for a special Father’s Day sugar-crusted french toast, you will find an article by President Obama called “We Need Fathers to Step Up.”   In it, the president recounts his childhood without a father – Barack Obama, Sr. left the family when his son was two – and talks about the “weight” of the absence of fathers, both for him and for boys he would see on the streets of Chicago’s South Side.   “That is why we need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one,” the president writes.   The themes the president discusses are not new ones; he’s been discussing fatherlessness, especially in the African-American community, for years. But this is his first push saying these things as president.   “And it’s not enough to just be physically present,” he writes. “Too often, especially during tough economic times like these, we are emotionally absent: distracted, consumed by what’s happening in our own lives, worried about keeping our jobs and paying our bills, unsure if we’ll be able to give our kids the same opportunities we had. Our children can tell. They know when we’re not fully there. And that disengagement sends a clear message — whether we mean it or not — about where among our priorities they fall.  So we need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what’s going on in their lives.”   The president also discusses his shortcomings as a parent, writing, “I know I have been an imperfect father. I know I have made mistakes. I have lost count of all the times, over the years, when the demands of work have taken me from the duties of fatherhood. There were many days out on the campaign trail when I felt like my family was a million miles away, and I knew I was missing moments of my daughters’ lives that I’d never get back. It is a loss I will never fully accept.”   He recalls taking home his older daughter Malia from the hospital 11 years ago and pledging to her that he “would give her what I never had — that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father.” And he concludes saying that this Father’s Day he’s “recommitting myself to that work, to those duties that all parents share: to build a foundation for our children’s dreams, to give them the love and support they need to fulfill them, and to stick with them the whole way through, no matter what doubts we may feel or difficulties we may face. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father’s Day, and that is my hope for this nation in the months and years ahead.”   Happy Father’s Day, everyone.   -jpt