|Lohan to Oprah: 'I Wanted to Go to Jail'|
|Suzan Clarke||Aug 18, 2013, 11:09 PM|
Actress Lindsay Lohan tonight said she wants to rebuild her career and regain the industry's trust, acknowledged that she was an addict and revealed that she secretly wanted to go to jail because she was feeling so overwhelmed by her problems.
Lohan made the revelations in an interview with Oprah Winfrey that aired tonight on "Oprah Winfrey's Next Chapter" on OWN, Winfrey's network.
The interview took place four days after Lohan's release from court-ordered rehab.
This was reportedly her sixth stint in rehab.
Her first was in 2007, and Lohan told Winfrey that she wanted to attend that first time because of a "scare" after taking Ambien, but she was resistant to successive court-ordered stints after drinking and driving charges because she was being forced and she felt she would be missing out.
Further legal trouble led to a 2010 jail sentence that Lohan said was "terrifying."
"Part of my decision was, at that point I strangely, being in my addiction and everything and having all the chaos around me that I was so comfortable with, I somewhere inside knew and kind of wanted to go to jail … and I think that that was subconsciously being put out there by me just by my actions," she said. "I think it was just to find some peace and just have no choice but to just sit and be."
Asked about criticism that she had - and wasted - many chances, Lohan said it was all part of a process of growing up, and she took responsibility for her mistakes, adding that she felt "lots of shame" and "tons of guilt."
She added: "It's always such a circus when I go to court. It's just so humiliating."
When Winfrey asked her if she was an addict, she replied "yeah," and when Winfrey asked her what her drug of choice was, she said it was alcohol. She added that she considered it a gateway drug, and said she tried cocaine 10 or 15 times while she was drinking and partying.
Asked what drugs she was taking now, she said she only takes vitamins and Nexium for acid reflux. She said she is no longer taking Adderall for attention deficit disorder.
The actress told Winfrey that she felt "really good" and was trying to reacclimate to her daily life. She is looking ahead toward her future, focusing on her recovery and set on rebuilding her career, she said.
Lohan moved from New York to Los Angeles when she was 18 years old, and was making around $7 million per film. She didn't invest that money, but spent it on accommodations - she was living in a hotel in addition to having an apartment - and pricey goods and flying friends to visit, she told Winfrey, adding that she was surrounded by hangers-on and there was no one to give her financial advice.
When Winfrey asked her several times whether her parents, Dina and Michael Lohan, had exploited her, she denied it every time. She said she loved her parents, added that hurtful things had happened in the family and but said they did not take advantage of her.
The troubled actress completed the three-month rehab stint in July. It was part of a plea deal to avoid jail time stemming from a June 2012 traffic case.
The "Mean Girls" star pleaded no contest to reckless driving and lying to police and was ordered to spend 90 days in treatment. The deal also included 30 days of community labor and 18 months of psychological counseling.
Upon being released from Cliffside Malibu, she was ordered to attend three 50-minute therapy sessions each week until next year.
Since her release, the 27-year-old has guest-hosted "Chelsea Lately" and filmed an episode of HBO's "Eastbound and Down." She is now starring in the erotic thriller "The Canyons."
ABC News' Michael Rothman contributed to this report.
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