Survey: Parents and Kids Attached at the Hip and Pocketbook

New Parent-Child Closeness Is Positive

Though the survey never specifically addresses the issue of whether parents are too close to their adult children, Milloy said experts interviewed conclude this new connection is positive.

"It's actually nice to be in contact with our kids and have a real adult relationship," she said. "There is some give and take and a level of respect for advice you have. Frankly, one of our experts said that historically, [the rebellious boomers'] separation from [their] parents is a cultural blip."

As for Bass and her daughter Roper, they said they thrive on their bicoastal relationship.

"My mother and I are very lucky, said Roper. "For the most part, she is like my confidante. She loves me unconditionally and doesn't judge me."

"We love basketball and the L.A. Clippers," she said. "They don't broadcast the games in New York, so she texts me throughout the game about what's going on. And we talk on the phone every couple of days."

Morgan Roper said she and her mother strike a good balance. "She is my mom, but I wouldn't say she is my best friend," she said.

Bass said her daughter was financially dependent throughout college, but she continued to support her two years out.

"She wanted to move to New York without a job," said Bass. "We made an agreement: I would foot the bill for three or four months, but she had to make some contribution … Sometimes she would fall short of the mark."

Knowing her daughter was not "starving," Bass said she had to "step away" and cut off some of the financial support. "It was hard for me as a parent."

Dr. Bass said her own parents had paid for her medical school, "except a small loan part."

"But my dad's philosophy was, you take care of yourself," she said. "You have to become financially solvent. He probably would not have agreed for me to go somewhere without a job,"

"I have a conflict," said Bass. "As I watch my [patients'] parents in my profession raising their children, that helicopter scenario is very common. They don't want their children to fail. They create a success for everything … I worry that parents who are well-intentioned are doing it out of love for the right reasons, but sometimes the dependency they create is not good."

Roper said she, too, has friends who are far too dependent on their parents. At a dinner party recently, her friend called her mother "10 times during the cooking process."

"She wanted to know how much salt to put in, and what temperature to cook it at, and when she needed to take it out," said Roper. "Those were all separate phone calls. I have faith in what I can do. I can cook a chicken with the help of the Internet."

But both mother and daughter stress the value and importance of their closeness in matters of the heart.

"Thanksgiving Day my mother passed away," said Bass. "How I wish I could call Mom and ask her how to darken up that turkey."

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