It's time to mock the mock drafts


Suppose you were basing your draft strategy on results of recent Super Bowls. Here's what you would want:

• Short quarterbacks.

• Tall defensive backs.

• Lots of defensive ends.

Two of the past five Super Bowls have been won by quarterbacks who are "too short" -- Drew Brees and Russell Wilson. Throw in Delaware alum Joe Flacco, and three of the past five quarterbacks who stood in a confetti shower at season's end did not meet the draftnik ideal of magnificent physical specimen from a football-factory program.

But while your quarterback can be short, your defensive backs should be tall. Seattle's memorable defensive season was partly the work of cornerback Richard Sherman and safety Kam Chancellor, both 6-foot-3. Don't forget cornerback Byron Maxwell, at 6-1. Scouts used to think tall guys can't change direction quickly enough to play the secondary. Apparently they can.

Seattle's 2013 defensive performance was so spectacular -- at the Super Bowl, the No. 1 defense blew the No. 1 offense off the field -- that TMQ predicted an NFL revival of drafting for defense. We'll see. Remember, this column's motto is "All Predictions Wrong Or Your Money Back."

Besides tall pass defenders, the Seahawks often played with three defensive ends on the field. The Giants had three defensive ends on the field much of the time, too, in their most recent Super Bowl victory over New England. Quality defensive ends are as difficult to find in the draft as quality athletes at any other position. But if you have three defensive ends who can bring it, field them all at once.

In basketball news, the NBA just staged a Game 7 festival, and home teams nearly ran the table. Home teams are 95-24 all time in Game 7 of the NBA playoffs, an 80 percent winning figure. In pro football, all playoff contests are win-or-go-home, so every postseason game is like an NBA Game 7. Since the AFL-NFL merger, home teams are 263-128 in playoff games, a 67 percent winning figure. When it's winner-take-all, why is home court more valuable than home field? TMQ thinks it's because in basketball, the expressions on the players' faces are easily visible. The crowd becomes raucous and the visitors start to feel fear. Everyone sees it in their eyes.

In other football news, everyone's got a mock draft: Although TMQ annually mocks the mock drafts. Below is my 15th mock of mock drafts, as the column's 15th season approaches. By gifting tradition, the 15th is the crystal anniversary. Dear Bristol, I'd like a dilithium crystal, please.

In the run-up to the draft, everyone is obsessing about hundredths-of-a-second differences. See below for TMQ's annual lampoon of absurd precision.

1. Houston Texans: Idina Menzel, coloratura soprano. The Texans intend to select Johnny Manziel, but accidentally write Menzel's similar name on card. In second round, team hopes to tab Adele Dazeem.

2. St. Louis Rams (from Washington): John Lofting, inventor of draft beer. St. Louis drafts first or second for the fourth time in eight years. If there were draft choice standings, the Rams would be awesome.

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