Transcript: 20/20 Interview With Anastacia

The following is an unedited transcript of 20/20's interview with pop star Anastacia, broadcast May 2, 2003.

INTERVIEW WITH ANASTASIA

INTERVIEWER:

What were you thinking about when you were sitting at home?

ANASTACIA:

Huh. Well...you know, I mean, whoo. When I... After I had found out the news...I had to do actually work, so, I just pretty much shoved those feelings aside, I cried for about...I don't know, a good...fifteen seconds. And, my mom was there, I cried when I told my sister...maybe one or two friends, when I started just saying the word cancer I cried. And, then I stopped crying. I completely shoved it aside, I had work to do, I tried to be focused for it, I didn't wanna think about it, I just wanted to do it, um, and I was kind of in denial, at the same time, I-it was just too creepy to think that this is actually happening to me right now. And, after the video I...totally fell apart. Spiritually fell apart. And was at home, on and off crying, didn't wanna be around anybody. Um, and it was just very strange because I'd never been in that situation before, there was always something that I'd thought about to make me cry, but I was watching-a complete incident that I will never forget, I'm watching a Pizza Hut commercial, totally excited to see the rest of this show that I was watching. The commercial comes on and I start bawling.

Not because I could not go get a slice. I had no idea. I had no clue what was going on in my range of emotions that started to exist, I started feeling really, really guilty that people were worried about me and I didn't want 'em to be worried about me anymore so I felt that was even more pressure to try to get well really fast because, I don't want-you know, I have, not only from friends to family to now, all these fans that, that...that relied on me, to make their spirit stronger, I wasn't there. So what are they gonna do, and then they were all worried about me and, I just didn't know how to handle that. I-I felt extremely responsible, as an artist, that, that I had to immediately get well.

[OFF CAMERA COMMENTS]

INTERVIEWER:

When you're watching the commercial, did you think that was sort of looking at a life you felt like you had missed somehow or--

ANASTACIA:

I--

INTERVIEWER:

I mean do you have any idea what that triggered in you, that--

ANASTACIA:

It's really amazing, I tried to analyze each moment when I'd have a feeling that I couldn't really...put a finger on. And when I had an emotional moment during this, I was trying to figure it out so hard. And trying to analyze it and trying to figure it out so that I could solve it, and let it go. And, I had a conversation with, um...a friend of mine, and, um... Actually I had a conversation with Sharon Osborne. And, she just told me to walk through it. And I was like well what do you mean walk through it, I'm like what if I can't figure out what it is and she's like you're not supposed to. You're just supposed to go with it. And I was like, okay. Well, like...go with it without analyzing it, wow, okay, that's a little much. And I just allowed that to be the thing that drove me, and it drove me to be able to go with it, if I was-if I was gonna cry in the middle of a sentence that I laugh in, it was okay. And the minute that it was like okay to do that, then all of a sudden it became easier not to necessarily cry but to be stronger. And every day got a little easier and, um...I will say that I've had a tremendous amount of support from people that...that need support themselves, you know. And, and they're still willing to go and hold out a hand to someone like me. That, uh, it's just been, it's been overwhelming, all over the place.

INTERVIEWER:

ANASTACIA:, what's the-I mean, you know, it's sort of everyone's nightmare in a-what you're, what you're in right now is clearly everyone's nightmare, and it's from the first moment a doctor tells you something like this, what-what was that moment like? Can you remember that?

ANASTACIA:

Oh, God yeah. Um...I was not feeling very well right after surgery, I had a really, really bad flu that went around and, and it just really hit me hard because I think the anesthesia also just brought it to the surface stronger than anything, like overnight I got this huge flu, like, just smacked me down and...and so I was really out of it for a good twenty-four hours right after the surgery, and, the doctor called the house but I think my mother had stepped out to get some juice for me or-- And so there was a message on the machine and when I had got up, I said did the doctor call? And she said, well I mean I got outta the house, there might be a message, so I checked, and there was a message from the doctor, and, um... So I called and paged the doctor and he called right back, and, um... And when the phone rang my mom picked it up, and...it... My mom completely-everyone thought that it wasn't, you know, anything. And when I got on the phone, sorry, I'm gonna get emotional. When I got on the phone with, uh, the doctor, he said, you're gonna have a long life. And I was like, mm-hmm. But? And he said, um, but it's malignant and we found cancer. And I was like, whoa. And I just started just bawling.

And, um, and then I handed the phone to my mom, and she continued to talk to the doctor and I was just like...it just was just one of those things that you just, you can't believe. Um... And then to a place on a woman's body that is so sensitive to her femininity. You know, it's bad enough that I got a big old disease that attacks the intestines that has to do with your boo-boo, but now I got a big old disease that attacks the breasts, I mean like, you know, how much more of non-woman can I feel. Um, I just...I was just more in shock and then just kind of like every time I was telling somebody...they were in shock, because they just kept telling me, I'll be fine. When they knew I was going in for biopsy, oh, please, everyone has biopsies, it's always, you know, it's standard, routine surgery, everything's cool. But I could tell through my doctor's eyes that there was a little bit something deeper than just this being routine. And just, the best, the best and kindest nature do I have working around me as far as physicians, I'm extremely lucky that I don't have a quack. And I have an amazing, amazing doctor that makes me feel like it's okay. And that, um... and at the end of the day no matter what happens, if I do have to take off my breast, if I do have to go through chemo, if I do have to do all the things that go along with this word cancer, I'm gonna be okay. Because, I'm-I'm not gonna die. And if I do, I'll die trying. You know, that's just the way that I am.

INTERVIEWER:

How do you know you're gonna be okay?

ANASTACIA:

'Cause I don't live with fear, I don't, I don't live in a bubble...in life. 9/11 I was on a plane right after, overseas to go and work, when all of my musicians decided to cancel because of their fears. I didn't believe that I wanted to be scared of, like, the unknown. You know, I-I wanna live life, I don't wanna run from it, and, so that was my philosophy. You know, you wanna bomb us because we're American, you wanna bomb us because you have some reason to be jealous of us, well great, I'm going to give you more of a reason 'cause I'm gonna traipse my little blonde, four-eyed booty overseas, and la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, I'm American. You know. I don't care. You know, if I'm gonna get blown out the sky, it's gonna be blown out trying. Not blown out, not living life. And I believe the same way, I've had a disease called Krohn's disease since I was thirteen, I've had that disease since I can remember, and...I-it's just part of me, and now that I have cancer, it's just another thing to put on my resume as, you know, survivor. Um...I don't know how I'm gonna survive but I'm just gonna take one moment at a time and just try to keep on going, and surviving.

INTERVIEWER:

Do you ever have the sense that you've been chosen somehow, I mean it's--

ANASTACIA:

Ah.

INTERVIEWER:

--you've gotten a lot of stuff thrown at you, I mean it's almost as if you have been selected for some purpose or some higher...purpose, do you ever have that sense?

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, I kind of-it-as-I don't wanna sound at all like, like, you know, I've been chosen. But, there's a reason why sometimes they choose certain people to be given this, this, uh...this terrible news, you know, and, and maybe the choices I am making are exactly what they want me to make, they want me to be a vessel to try to heal others and help others and show others there's another way other than staying in your house. But I did stay in my house for a while so that's okay, and you can let it be a process, just don't let it be the curse. And, um, you know, I, I wanna deliver my story, I wanna tell people what I went through because, I don't wanna be ashamed of it myself. I've gotta walk through this, and this is the only way I can walk through it, is to be honest, and to be truthful with what I'm going through and, even though some of it is not as glamorous as our business is, even though some of it is, is me shaking in a bed, um, after surgery and totally vomiting in a bucket because I'm completely nauseous from all the meds they're giving me, yo, that's part of it. You know. The word cancer doesn't come with a big frickin' beautiful sign in lights. You know, so I, I will say that, uh, you know...I just wanna be real and honest with, with, uh, this is part of me. And, and I'm an artist that's out there in the world and, you know, I don't mind speaking about it as my own therapy. You know, it heals me, to be able to speak about what I'm realizing and my revelations on who I am, so...I'm grateful that people wanna hear it. Because that means they're helping me by being a listener. And, and, that is a far better support system than I could ever ask for.

INTERVIEWER:

You said earlier that it, it-how much more non-woman can I feel. What do you mean by that?

ANASTACIA:

Um... In my business, it is the kinda business that makes you wanna be perfect. It makes you wanna fit into the mold, so that you can be part of the most-hundred most beautiful women in the magazines. Um, and part of that experience is very damaging to a woman who may not have it all together. Who may not necessarily have the look that is popular or, the look that they assume is going to sell magazines and, um... You know, when, when they go in and attack a very feminine part of a woman's physique, when this disease is attacking, what is sedentary [sic] to a man's view of femininity, it can definitely make a woman feel very sacrificed, to...you know... I-I already felt like a tough woman, now I really [LAUGHS] am like, okay, thanks, now I feel like a total dude-woman, you know. You're really not helping a girl [UNINTELLIGIBLE].

It's just, uh, I think that...that being, um... maybe being given cancer, and maybe being given breast cancer, is gonna make me not beat myself up so much. Maybe it'll make me humbled. Even though I sort of stayed humble to society you can kinda get swept up in the way that it can make you feel and the way that it can make you be. And, maybe it's...society putting brakes on my spirit that I didn't even see. Um, and that nobody saw, but maybe, it's to bring me to another level that I need to be at. Um...I've always been taught that, that inside matters the most. But I have to heal my inside before I can feel that my outside is appealing to anybody. Um...and I'm-I'm not quite there yet but I'm working on it.

INTERVIEWER:

You are really a perfectionist too I think, aren't you. Do you think that's part of this in some way--

ANASTACIA:

Oh, absolutely, I think that being a Virgo and being a perfectionist and, and trying to do everything, as a people-pleaser, um, it's really difficult to...to be sick. It's difficult to show signs of weakness, it's difficult to, to show that you're human on a level of ailment, um, because you wanna immediately be sick in one sentence and well in another, so that you can show the bounce-back, um, is, is possible. And I'm, um...I'm learning, through this process to just let it go. And, let it happen. And whether or not I can't get this video done or whether or not I can't do this or-- Even though I still do beat myself up over situations like that, I think I may slow my train down a little.

And I think I may take a breath of the flowers, while I'm in the room instead of going, you know what, I can't smell those flowers right now but they're really beautiful, I gotta go over here because I got twelve million interviews to do and I really have to conquer the world, sorry, bye. Um...I want to learn to understand how to, how to be in this business, be successful, and learn how to enjoy every moment of it, because it can go by so fast that all of a sudden the last year just went by real quick. The year before I got to absorb it a little more but last year was really an intense year for me and, and it seemed to be filled with so much intensity and so much drama and so much, uh, success, that, you tend to not be able to enjoy it. I don't think I ever really sat down and like clinked glasses with hardly anybody that, that struggled in this process of, of getting to the top. Um...and I don't wanna do that, I wanna have those moments to enjoy, enjoy the process, and that's what I'm gonna try to do this year. Is really try to balance those...things--

INTERVIEWER:

Do you find when you're walking around that you're looking-I mean I...once was given a--

ANASTACIA:

Can I have a tissue.

[OFF CAMERA COMMENTS]

INTERVIEWER:

I had once-I was given this, kind of a death sentence and I found myself walking around, you know, looking at life differently, I mean it was almost as if everything came into very sort of sharp focus, and...and mine was literally a-was different than--

ANASTACIA:

Right--

INTERVIEWER:

--what you're talking about, they-they misdiagnosed me, it was--

ANASTACIA:

Oof.

INTERVIEWER:

--but...nonetheless it was that same sort of grappling with a very...serious disease, and I, I... You know, one wonders what-as if some- it's like something changes, it's like your life changed--

ANASTACIA:

Um--

INTERVIEWER:

--in one instant when you got that call or whatever--

ANASTACIA:

I...I was angry, that I was given cancer, I was angry that they put a-like a pause button on my CD. It was not-I was going, I was motivated, I wanted to work, I enjoy it, I love it. And I was pissed. I was angry, I wasn't looking at life to live, I was living life wonderful, I was living life with respect, I was...really, really being as genuine of a person as I could in the field that I am and the pulling and the tugging. I really was, but I was a lot more angry than I was realizing that I don't live life properly or that I didn't really...en-enjoy it, I know that I haven't had time to enjoy things and I'd like to try to find that time, if it's possible.

But...I, I was pissed at the disease. And, um, and I'm still graffling [sic] with the fact that I'm angry at it but now I have to become its friend. And now I have to learn how to... embrace it and go how are we gonna work on this together. You know, because there's gonna be different faces I see of you, every part of my life, and you may come back and you may not ever come back. But the fact that you're almost never gonna come back is gonna be the fact that I'm always gonna like, look around the corner and know if you're there. There-you will always be there and I have to talk to my disease like a person because, it's not me. It's something else. And, um...and I don't blame myself for getting it and I, I don't know what it is, um... I have different philosophies about cancer, and, I don't have it in my family. Um...I didn't get it genetically or, it wasn't passed down to me, and I didn't have a lump. I just went in for a mammogram, because my doctor said, you know, it's about time, you know, you might as well just check it out.

It's, uh-you know, you'll probably have to pay for it because your insurance won't pay for it, you're too young. But go get one, and so I did. And there you go. I did not expect to-you know, I just went like to get my hair colored. Went to go get an X-ray, it was very simple, it was a simple process, I was not expecting to have a life terminal illness [LAUGHS]. You know, I-had I known that I would've waited till after the video [LAUGHS]. I would've been like, I can't deal with this right now but I'll deal with this cancer thing after the video. Um, but it just was...it was extremely unexpected, I mean everybody was, was kinda floored by, by the possibility of what this biopsy might, um, do...but more I think it...my whole association, the people that work with me, my family, my friends, they just didn't think it was gonna be cancer, why would ANASTACIA: get cancer. Why would she. You know, what is she, you know, supposed to get cancer for. You know, why would she get cancer and maybe why I got cancer, was to be the exact reason, is that it can attack anything and anyone. No matter how good or how bad.

It's-it has no, you know, it has no radar. It's just gonna go, where it needs to go, and...you as a person need to find out how you're gonna process that, are you gonna become a victim of the disease or are you gonna become a fighter. And I'm-God knows I'm not no victim. You know. I will sit there and look this disease right in the eye and look at it right-look at my tissue, be like, ooooh. You think you can get me? You know. [LAUGHS] I know, I'm kinda sick. [LAUGHTER]

INTERVIEWER:

Well, you've got a lotta humor about it, and I think that's, I mean you've gotta have that, don't you. You've gotta call on every resource you've got--

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, you really do, I've always been somebody that, that draws on my humor for everything, you know. Umm... I-I told somebody that I had the kinda cancer that was, that was the kinda... [WHISPERS] real quiet cancer, that said shhh. I'm gonna try to kill her. Just don't tell anybody. You know, like the real whisper cancer I had. In essence...you, you can't whisper around me. My spirits are too strong. They're gonna-they're gonna find you out. And, um...and I...I will say that, that, my fans have been an amazing...part of this journey. I've been getting letters and notes from people, not just fans that say, you know, I hope you get better and stuff, but actually, fans that have cancer, that were fans of mine. Like, you know, people that are giving me their story and telling me I'll be okay and telling me, you know...from this beautiful eleven-year-old girl, who is giving me exactly...her remedy of how I should go through my chemo. She said Thursdays are a better day, because by Monday you feel better. She said that, um, you know, um, it's really, it's really not that bad, but when they tell you to take the anti-nausea medicine, even though you think you don't need it, take it anyway. Like, giving me all this diagnosis in this letter, from an eleven-year-old child giving me strength. I'm overwhelmed with the ability of being able to learn from others, you know, and, um, and even others younger than myself, that are sitting there struggling with it. And it's, it's just really intense to be able to be blessed... with the angels that are guiding me through this.

INTERVIEWER:

Do you feel that, do you feel like you've got angels guiding-do you have some spiritual sense of something being with you--

ANASTACIA:

Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm-I'm not scared of death, so whenever I'm supposed to be taken, it's gonna happen. And, I'm gonna walk into that door with going, I know I lived a very pure and, and positive life, and I'm, I'm not, uh, I'm not perfect, but I did try to do the best I could with the skills that I had at the time that I had them. You know, um, you can only but do, uh, as far as, as, as your body can take you, um... So I think that when it comes to angels and it comes to destiny and karma, yeah, I do believe that I have really strong energies around me that, that guide me places that I don't even understand why I got there. You know. Make me turn down a street that I'm like, why am I here. Go into a place, why did I go in there? I guess it was to get, you know, this, and now I have it has really made life great, you know. Um...

INTERVIEWER:

Do you feel protected by those entities now, do you feel safe in this process?

ANASTACIA:

I-I don't--

INTERVIEWER:

Do you feel they're watching out for you?

ANASTACIA:

I don't feel that the angels, or the karma, or the destiny ever makes me feel safe. I determine that. I determine every emotion that flies through my body, I determine whether I'm gonna be sad for a long time and happy for a long time, and, and...all of the emotions that are going through my spirit, I'm determining all that, so, um, I can rely on letting energies enter my body, but I can reject them and I can also process them and deal with them the way that I need to deal with them. Um...I just think it's just really being in touch with your own self. You know, what is it that you like. What is it that you really wanna do. You know, is anyone really-I don't live on the surface, I live way below the surface so, I'm not, you know, a real safe person, I don't live so safe. I'll sit there and stretch my arm out real wide and maybe get burnt and go oops. [LAUGHS] You know, I-not gonna do that again. You know, but I'll do it, to just see if, you know-- But if I know that that, that hot is over there, I won't stretch my arm out. But, I do have a way of living my life very free and, and wonderful and, and...with a lot of love, that I will try to do something, um...with a good heart, and try to do something great, and sometimes it doesn't come out great. But I-I at least attempted it. And I learned something from it.

INTERVIEWER:

Do you see already an impact on younger women since people have found out about this? I mean have you seen people becoming more aware and--

ANASTACIA:

I-it's, it's been amazing the pouring of, of e-mails and, and awareness, that me getting breast cancer, at my age, has made women a little younger than me and a little older than me freak out. And immediately make that mammogram appointment, and shell out the money that it's gonna take to do that, and, and to me I go, thank God. Because you know what? I think cancer's-especially breast cancer and every kinda cancer, I think that we're gonna be 70 percent cancer-ridden as a society just because it's more environmental than we know. And...the way that cancer is and the way that our findings are with cancer, we can find it early so that, a lot of us can live the long life, my doctor started out his conversation with me on. But, um...sometimes you just don't know if you're the one to live the long life and you don't know if you're the one not to live it, but that's the whole-I don't know if I'll be alive tomorrow.

You never know when you'll be taken out, so what am I gonna live on the inevitable? No, I'm gonna live and just deal with life as it is, and...to me, if I can let women my age and a little younger be smart, to go and, and search their own destiny out, so that they can go, okay, well at least I don't have anything right now. At least I'm a clear [sic] bill of-bill of health, for now. But in three years, let me go check myself out again, 'cause this stuff creeps up on a lotta people, you don't necessarily need a tumor to have breast cancer. You know, take it from me. And that's what I wanna let women know. You know, I didn't have one lump anywhere. You know, and, it was just, it was divine right order, they, they, they stepped in and, and sussed out this situation before...I would've been seriously cancer-ridden in a year. Big-time. Through my body. Because of the kinda cancer I had. It was, you know, the kinda cancer that probably would never have made a tumor.

And there's a lot of it out there but they're able to detect it now. And the beauty of detecting it at this stage is that, yes you can, be a lot more aware that, you know, you might potentially be somebody who can, can receive this kinda cancer, so, now you're aware of it. And, um... but there's a lotta people that because, until forty it's not covered on your insurance, why go get a mammogram? Because everyone after forty gets breast cancer. No they don't. Okay? No they don't. Wake up, is what I wanna tell you.

INTERVIEWER:

You've been kind of thrust in this role, in the-I mean you have been thrust in this role, you didn't choose this. I mean it's, it's-here you are doing so incredibly well internationally and here now...I mean it seems, it's a wonderful opportunity to save a lot of lives but it's also a real paradox and it's keeping you away I think--

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, it's--

INTERVIEWER:

--from what you love--

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, it's like it's-it-it has a ying and a yang, you know, being, being in my business and having the ability to touch so many people and heal so many people through my own problems, is a grateful situation to be in 'cause I feel like I can help more people through the songs that I sing, and the songs that I write, the words that I may choose to use have pulled a lot of women out of scary relationships, and men out of scary relationships and, and people stronger within themselves are now stronger. Um, I...I believe that, um... counteracting such a great idea of, of being- having that avenue and that, that role model to be able to have, you also are in a fishbowl. And you don't have a chance to be weak. And you don't have a chance to sit there and cry and...and be overwhelmed by your moment, and...it's not okay, if you're like that. But if you're like that, they want the camera in your face. They wanna know all about it and they wanna know every little step about it, like as if they've never been through a stressful situation before.

To me, I've never claimed that I am not human, I am the most human person there is out there. I cry like the rest of 'em, I get angry, I, you know, I burn my food, you know-- [LAUGHS] I have, uh, you know...done so much that has made me quite human, um, that it's a constant reminder, that, that there's no perfection up in here. And, but I do try to be a good person. And I do try to do the right thing and I do have a perfectionist mentality so I do try to always have that outlook of let me, let me just...do the best I can. You know.

[OFF CAMERA COMMENTS]

END TP 1

INTERVIEW WITH ANASTACIA::

ANASTACIA::

02:02:41:28 I think with this journey I'm learning more of the aspects of me learning more about who I am -- through this journey -- because I haven't had to deal with that. So-- you know, I always call myself a work in progress for a reason, because everything makes you-- alter into a different place for that particular time. So-- you know, it's interesting.

02:03:06:15 I'm going to start writing the next album--and I'll keep it real. Before I got cancer, I was like-- God! - what--? What's happening in my life?

[LAUGHTER]

What's going on with-- you know - my life? It's-- everything's so great and-- life is so good and-- well-- you know this album's going to be really deep! [LAUGHS] It's going to be extremely deep. And I got a lot to say.

[LAUGHTER]

Now. That I didn't realize I had to say--02:03:33:16

02:03:35:12 So-- I'm all bated breath ready-- ready to go into that writing session and be like--brrrrp! -- and just write tons of stuff that I have no clue what it's going to be about until I get it out but-- extremely-- more willing and more creative-minded to want to go in now -- believe it or not - than oh, my God - I have cancer -- I don't want to write an album.

[LAUGHTER]

02:03:58:09 Now I go - wow! You know what? This is really intense, and there's a lot of emotions going on and there's a lot of pouring of love with the fans and there's a lot of friendships and-- wow, there's so many intense feelings that-- this - this is the best writing place for an artist anyway -- when the feelings are high -- when the feelings are strong and they're really, really so close that you can touch them. 02:04:18:09 That's the best time to write a song.

02:04:21:06 You know?

QUESTION:

02:04:22:04 It's a hell of a way to get there, isn't it!

ANASTACIA::

02:04:24:04 It really is. I personally would not have asked for the Big "C" personally [LAUGHS] - to actually get there - but - c'est la vie.

QUESTION:

02:06:29:26 Well you certainly don't seem to be sitting here feeling very sorry for yourself, ANASTACIA::.

ANASTACIA::

02:06:31:22 No, I'm, I'm, I'm definitely not one to feel sorry for myself. I think - there was a moment when I did -- there was a moment when I didn't know what to feel, and I didn't know if it was I feel sorry for myself -- I feel bad -why me? -- I didn't really say those things -but I was depressed, and there was a place and time in my home when I took my time out with myself and I turned off my phones-- and I just allowed myself to feel those feelings and exist.

02:06:58:10 And-- it passed. And it got less and less, and then I got more-- to a place that makes me feel comfortable which is just -- processing it! And dealing with it, and allowing it to be what it is.

02:07:11:25 And-- I'm terrified for my surgery. It's real. I'm very terrified for it. But I have my family and my friends that are going to be there that day. On purpose. I even have a lovely film crew that's going to be there that day -- on purpose. Because it's real! And it's life, and that's-- and I don't want to do it alone!

02:07:33:25 And I don't want to go through this process, necessarily, alone but I don't want to be stroked too much because I don't want to feel like a victim and-- I don't -- you know - I have a lot of rules and regulations they're going to have to follow, but--

[LAUGHTER]

02:07:44:15 I just want -- you know, I want to walk through this with one foot in front of an--other and if I have to stop and pause for a minute, I may have to stop and pause. You know?

QUESTION:

02:07:54:02 What are you terrified about - the surgery -what's the most terrifying part of it?

ANASTACIA::

02:07:58:20 Being scared of what I'm going to find when we go in there for the - for the final diagnosis. Knowing whether or not-- I will have to go through chemo--; I know I have to have radiation - that's a given. I have to do that.

02:08:18:15 They just don't know if it is penetrated enough to do the chemo-- and that's a whole 'nother bag of worms that I don't even know what that is yet, cause I haven't done it-- so - and-- if I find out I have to do chemo for a little period of time, it's going to freak me out.

02:08:38:27 But if that's what I have to do-- to stay alive, I'll do it! And-- you know - yeah, you get sick and yeah, it takes away the beautiful blonde hair, and that's just going to break my little heart-- but-- but wigs are-- out there. And I will wear them.

02:08:57:16 And it is just the way that it is. I have to do what I have to do.

QUESTION:

02:09:01:23 Is it the waking up part you're most afraid of or is it the going in there on that stretcher down that hall-- or what is it that--

ANASTACIA::

02:09:08:19 I think it's just-- you know - doing all that prep stuff and being kind of awake for it --I'd rather be knocked out the minute I walk in the door. I'd rather completely be drugged up and let them place me in the right place and put everything in me-- and me not be aware of it - but you have to like-- you're awake - and aware - on the stretcher.

02:09:27:08 You're awake and aware of who your anesthesiologist is - you're seeing them put the-- you know - the I.V. in you. You're seeing them sort of - you know - lube up the booby and put the red stuff on it and do - and you're just freaking out and trying to process it and not let the anxiety get to you because you know what you're going to go do.

02:09:46:00 I have to have-- you know - a-- a-- a "ectomy" but not necessarily completely taking off one breast, but I have to take off a portion of my left breast, and then they have to go into the right breast and kind of make it-- even.

02:10:06:05 I have to have a lot of surgery! [LAUGHS] And-- it's just the fear of going in there and actually having surgery! So-- it's-- it's -it's just a--

02:10:18:20 And I think I'm just scared because I've seen a couple of shows already that - that have done reconstruction surgery and stuff like that and I'm like - oh, God!

02:10:28:01 And the camera's are right in the room, and I see, you know, everything - that it looks like - and it's really not pretty and-- you know -so I think it's just knowing-- just being out during that time.

02:10:42:23 I'm glad I'm out-- but knowing that I know what's going to happen is even worse. So I wish I never saw that show, but I couldn't turn off the TV.

[LAUGHTER]

02:10:54:05 I knew what I was watching but I couldn't -- I was like-- Mmmmmmmmm. You know. [...?...] had to watch it.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

QUESTION:

02:10:57:29 Well you didn't expect it-- you didn't expect it to happen to you, probably ever. Do you -do you-- think that on-- Sunday night - is there kind of like a - almost a goodbye in a funny way to that breast?

02:11:10:07 I know that sounds silly, but it's like your whole life is about to change and-- your body's about to change, and-- as you said before - it's being attacked. It's been attacked by something - I mean is there any--

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA::

02:11:19:29 Well I don't know if you can use this phrase -but I had pretty T-----s. [LAUGHS]

[LAUGHTER]

02:11:23:15 And I'm really sad! They're going to have to be scarred now!

02:11:28:12 So-- I-- now I'm going to have - you know -defacing of the-- of the body and-- yeah, there's going to have to be -- I've never had plastic surgery so now I'm going to have to have plastic surgery to my-- my chest area.

02:11:47:14 It's trippy to-- to like have to-- do it -because I have to. I would have loved to do this because I wanted to. You know? I think that's - that's the pull and the tug to me.

02:12:00:15 If I wanted to get any kind of surgery, it would be a choice. When it comes to the word "plastic surgery" but now it's different. Now - now I don't want it. Now I'm like oh, I'd rather have Mother Africa - you know [LAUGHS] for the rest of my life [LAUGHS] -- at 60 -and be like - forget it! I'll take my boobs with me!

02:12:21:06 I-- now I'm going - you know - I don't even know if I'd want to ever do any kind of reconstruction because of-- just the, the essence of what surgery -- I, I forgot what it was like to go through surgery. It's not fun. I don't know how people do it.

[LAUGHTER]

02:12:37:11 I don't know how people do it - over and over and over again in our world. But-- I don't think that Sunday I'm going to necessarily have a big goodbye ceremony for my boob. Bz. My boobs. But-- but I think I'm probably not going to really be able to sleep - which would be better because the anesthesia will really hit me when I have it.

02:13:02:13 And-- I think it's just going to be going into the cold room of the operating room; the room -- no operating room is like real friendly. You know? None of them have like you know - looking like some lounge - you know - with mood lighting.

[LAUGHTER]

02:13:17:26 Duh. They don't burn candles into operating room, you know, so it's--

[LAUGHTER]

it's kind of a little rough. It's-- it's very cold, and I'm not good at cold.

02:13:26:00 So I think that that's what I fear in the-- in the operating room itself - it's just-- the cold energy that you have to walk into even though my doctors-- are, are the kindest ones available. You know?

02:13:40:19 They're so warm and so-- so bedside-manner friendly and they're [sic] so grateful to have them on each side of me, knowing that - that when I'm put under, I'm not worried about what they're going to do at all! I'm not even wondering are they going to make sure they get everything? Are they going to do--?

02:13:57:05 I'm not even concerned. I know I have wonderful, wonderful Big Daddies taking care of me.

QUESTION:

02:14:02:28 And when you wake up-- how do you think you're going to feel?

ANASTACIA::

02:14:07:05 I have no idea. I have no idea how I'm going to feel when I wake up. But I'll probably tell you guys-- that when I know it. I can't project that--; I have no clue.

02:14:19:04 It's funny, I -- I was asked to go to the Grammies and-- I said you know - physically I'll probably be ready to walk down a red carpet but I don't know about spiritually. So I just have to like take that when it comes.

02:14:32:21 I don't know if I'll want to go; I don't know how I'm going to feel after the operation. I don't know what's going to happen after this surgery to my spirit. 02:14:42:15 I do know that I'm trying to build up my spirit strong so that when I walk in there, I'm strong so that if I get beat down a little I can try to get strong again.

02:14:51:12 But I don't know. I don't know the answer to that.

QUESTION:

02:14:54:18 Have you ever been this afraid, ANASTACIA::?

ANASTACIA::

02:15:02:09 Not in my adult life, I've never been this afraid. And it's not an afraid that is-- you know - scary-movie-afraid. It's just-- I'm--I'm helpless! 02:15:17:11 And I think that's more of a word -- rather than afraid -- that I feel! I just feel like I can't do anything to make it go away! Necessarily.

02:15:26:13 I can try to be a good person. I can try to be positive. I can try to do everything that I'm supposed to do doctorwise and everything, but-- I'm really helpless with a disease like this -- the same way that I -- to a certain point I'm helpless with Crone's Disease--

02:15:40:24 -- but I can try to be a really great person, and really positive and try not to be that stressed out-- and try to understand how to--you know - deal with all of the things that go along with it - and then--

02:15:54:08 after that, if I'm going to get an attack -I'm going to get an attack!

02:15:57:19 You know. I've learned how to deal with them-- within being in this business. And-- I will obviously have to try to learn how to do the same with cancer.

QUESTION:

02:16:08:10 But you're going to help a lot of people --that's one--

ANASTACIA::

02:16:10:21 I hope so! I hope I'm going to help a lot of people. [...?...] that.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

QUESTION:

02:16:13:27 Well-- Okay. Is there anything anybody wants to add-- you want to add? Anything you want to add before you go--

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

QUESTION:

02:16:29:24 But before you go in, Anast-- is there anything you want to add - just sort of--before going -- where - now where are you pushing me?

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

02:16:38:01 Anything that you think you want to add just that's been on your mind that we haven't--either of you -- I see Paul--

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

ANASTACIA::

02:16:52:09 I'm pretty much just walking with one foot in front of another and hoping that-- the journey-- once I'm going through it-- it'll be interesting to be able to talk about. You know? Watch me walk.

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

END OF TAPE

[OFF-MIKE OFF TOPIC]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Let's start off Anastasia, by going back before all of this happened and talk a little bit about your career. Your impact on the music world has been strong and distinctive. And when I first heard your sound, I was like this is a petite blonde woman.

01:01:03:00 I mean I'm guessing you heard that.

ANASTACIA:

I hear that a lot and - and I will say that I understand people's response to being so very taken aback by the way that I sound. Because it doesn't - doesn't really match. The two don't match but now they're being accepted as - as wow well cool, we didn't expect her to sound like that.

01:01:21:26 But come on down. You know they -they enjoy it now. But when I go to look at myself saying I think I still have that reaction as well and I'm like whoa, okay, that is just like, how did I do that.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:01:34:04 Where did that come from.

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, just like where did that come from in that little chick. So it - it's really, it's, it's exciting to still be surprised by your own gift giving because I, I don't know where it comes from. I didn't study. I didn't try to perfect this voice to sort of sound very distinct.

01:01:53:10 It just does. And I'm really happy with it because it's - it's a fun craft and it's really exciting to actually do.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

It's deeply soulful.

ANASTACIA:

01:01:59:27 It is.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

is that how you would describe it?

ANASTACIA:

I'm a very soulful chick is what I am. So might as well just come out in my voice I guess.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:02:10:29 It is who you are.

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, it's very much who I am. So it does make sense.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:02:12:15 Your rise has been pretty meteoric.

ANASTACIA:

[Affirmative].

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Has it surprised you?

ANASTACIA:

01:02:17:04 You know I will say definitely it has surprised me but I'm not taken back by it. I accepted it like you would accept anything in life, whether it is the Crohn's disease I accepted the 13 or now the cancer that I have right now. I've accepted my career the same way.

01:02:37:15 And embraced it to the best of the ability you can when you sort of make a deal with the devil. When you make a deal with your famousness. You sort of realize that you're going out there and you're losing some of your privacy but gaining so much beauty that comes along with it.

01:02:54:16 Which is the attachment to your fans. The joy and ability to create something from nothing. And then to project that and sing that and -and make all this magic with your - with your spiritual gift.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:03:09:19 Has it been what you have expected it to be?

ANASTACIA:

No, I thought it was gonna be a lot worse.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Worse.

ANASTACIA:

01:03:18:26 I really thought the business was gonna be a lot worse. But I just don't follow the same philosophy most people do. I pretty much keep the same head on my shoulders and I act the same way that I acted before I started this career.

01:03:29:04 So it really hasn't changed much other than being able to spend a lot more money on things and - and take care of my family financially and be more secure in that factor. Other than that, my social life changed just because it's a little bit more isolated.

01:03:50:09 If I want to be really social I have to just think about the fact if I go out in public, it's not as private as it used to be. Going to the movies just ain't what it used to be.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Going shopping.

ANASTACIA:

01:03:58:05 No, it's not.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

But not a bad tradeoff.

ANASTACIA:

Yeah but I mean even when I go shopping, I still want to get a deal. I'm not, I'm not a Scrooge but hey, just because I got a lot of albums sold doesn't mean I want to get robbed.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

01:04:13:04 Goodness gracious I'm trying to keep my money in the bank. Not try to just wee it away.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

And even though you have had such success, you've - you've paid some dues. It wasn't easy in the beginning,.

ANASTACIA:

01:04:23:14 I have definitely paid dues. I, I believe that everything is about paying your dues. From even when you get successful. It's about trying to understand what it is and getting to the next place that you need to get to with your success.

01:04:35:10 And holding your own and holding your own foundation to find the next place. Before I started, I did every job in the world. I was a waitress and receptionist and taught aerobics and did so much as well as collected an unemployment check just before I got my deal.

01:04:50:22 So I've had my array of jobs and didn't suffer through them because I just knew that that's what I had to do for that time. I didn't ever expect the career to take off the way it did at all. It wasn't like I was you know at the waitress job going one day - I'm gonna be at her table. 01:05:10:23 You know I never thought that. I just never thought I had what it took to make that possibility because I didn't know if I had 01:05:19:09 the flair to be what I thought everyone was in our business which is fake.

01:05:27:06 Which they're not. There's a lot of people that are wonderful and great and down to earth still that are in our business. But then there's the handful of people that are scary. Scary and frightening.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Putting it gently.

ANASTACIA:

01:05:38:09 Yes.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

When did you know you had made it?

ANASTACIA:

I - I still don't believe that I have made it. I believe that I have made something. I have made a difference. But I don't believe I have made it. I think that when I die, then I can say I've made it and what I've made. 01:05:56:17 Just because you can say a number of albums sold doesn't necessarily mean that represents who you are. It's - I'm gratified by the respect of the people buying my albums.

01:06:08:07 But it doesn't mean that I'm a better me because I sold more albums than somebody else. I'm just proud that people acknowledge me. By buying my album instead of downloading it so much.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:06:20:08 Which a lot of people are doing. Tell me about that first appearance on MTV and when you discovered that you had these two amazing fans.

ANASTACIA:

01:06:31:00 I - actually got discovered on an MTV show. Which was like an American Idol show. It was just a very small version of it on MTV called The Cut. And when I went on that show, for some reason I was a buzz. My name and my appearance on that show was the big talk of like the industry. And people just wanted to know who I was and just perchance I got two calls from two big celebrities at the very beginning of - of the journey.

01:06:57:24 And one was Elton John and one was Michael Jackson. You know and both of them -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Two of the biggest stars you can think of.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

Yeah, yeah. And I'm like - for real. I just think that it was just one of those things that - their conversations, their respect of my career validated what I was doing was right. And I think it validated me to believe more in myself.

01:07:25:04 Because I really thought that they are amazing artists. And if they thought I was great, then there is probably something there that they're seeing that I should now look into and go, well maybe it is there. Maybe you don't have to wonder what's going on in the business.

01:07:40:23 Maybe this is your time. So just see what you can do with it.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

But to hear that Elton John loved your work must have blown your mind.

ANASTACIA:

01:07:50:07 HE loved my voice. And I don't know if he enjoyed on the first album, all of the production to be totally honest. Because he knows my honesty is just completely there. I do believe that he was very taken by my attack, the way that I attack a song.

01:08:03:28 And the way that I was as a singer. And the way that I held myself as an artist. He then became not only a fan but became a friend since then. And we are a pretty mighty duo when we - when we hang out.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:08:20:05 You became a huge celebrity in Europe. A huge celebrity here in the United States. But I mean super star in Europe. What were those early days like when you discovered just how big you were there.

ANASTACIA:

01:08:32:07 It's still funny because I still -I'm not probably going back to Europe for about - just about till Christmas time when I promote the new album. But being away from Europe and then possibly going back, I think I'm gonna have another wave of get outta here.

01:08:51:19 I still get very amazed by the immediate success and the immediate acknowledgement of, of looking at me as like I was a Beatle. Or as I was Michael Jackson or Madonna.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

What does that feel like -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

01:09:01:26 Outside my hotel room, screaming. It's, it's unbelievable because I feel so guilty that they're standing outside. That I am like tormented with - I'm exhausted but I've gotta sign. And it's just - I am so grateful for their love and their support.

01:09:18:08 I mean and I don't say it to be plagiaring on the word - I'm so, so wonderful. I really really am happy to have the fans. And I think it's just a treat to have the ability to be able to meet with them. Because not often do I get to necessarily have hands on connection with them even when I'm doing a concert.

01:09:38:13 There's only so much. You're on stage. But at an in store and outside your hotel and outside the, the studios, I can have - even if it's with 10 people I can at least have a connection with them and try to look at the people that are standing around them and just say I'm so sorry. I've really gotta go. But I thank you for standing here. But understand that I do this every single time I come out of a building.

01:10:02:24 So one day you might be a person that I sign for but you know, I always feel so guilty not being able to take care of everybody.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Because you can't give to everybody.

ANASTACIA:

01:10:12:17 You can't but it does - it does put a wrench in me sometimes when I can't.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

What does that feel like? I mean I've watched your concerts where you're leaning into the microphone, you're connecting with the audience. And you're getting all this adulation back.

01:10:23:18 What does that feel like?

ANASTACIA:

It's powerful. And it, it instills - your adrenaline is going just for the performance itself and the intensity that you're performing with but sometimes it's emotional. Sometimes because I let my feelings be what they need to be for that moment, sometimes I've cried on stage.

01:10:46:18 And when I'm singing a song that has an attack, I will sing what I feel in the song. I won't like knock out my bass [ ? ]. And I think that just being able to have the ability to connect with your audience even though there's 80,000 people -

01:11:03:27 - you really try to connect with the back of the room. And the - the beauty and the glory of what overseas audiences have done for me has really made me appreciate how they appreciate music. And you give back so much more because you just don't see that kind of thing here as much in America as they still do overseas. 01:11:24:26 The way that we were is the way that they still are. We are as Americans a little bit so used to the bells and the whistles and the smoke and the mirrors, that sometimes you just see some raw talent, you're kind of like, oh, that's it.

01:11:39:14 She didn't swing from anywhere.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

YEah, didn't she lower herself and like elevate. Like if I were to elevate I'm not quite the star. But to me, I just gotta keep it real. I don't, I don't do those things and hold a high note quite often. So I'd rather give them what I've been gifted to do.

01:11:59:08 And just sing. And the audiences of Europe just appreciate the rawness of what I do. And the audiences here are now understanding that - I think that's where music is going back to, is just the real singers that 01:12:10:05 are gonna go out there with a 5 piece band and - and kick it to you live. And so I'm excited to see where, where future music goes actually.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:12:19:21 And what about here in this country. Do you think it's just going - are you ready for that next level here in this country -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

Oh, yeah. I'm there. I'm just waiting for them to catch up. I'm already there. You know I'm not really worried about it. If it never catches up, at least I know where I am at. And at least I have a fan base somewhere that understands where I am at.

01:12:39:05 And that is a comfort zone. If America doesn't necessarily catch up and I don't become this huge huge superstar that I happen to be overseas, it's not - it's not my desire. I just want to connect with people. And if it doesn't seem like I have enough smoke and mirrors for them, then that's okay.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:12:56:27 A few months ago, you were riding high. Huge huge star in Europe. Wildly popular here in the States. Albums selling - and then the bad news.

ANASTACIA:

01:13:09:17 Yeah. Yeah I was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. And most people don't know how I was diagnosed and they assume that it was a tumor. And I am very honest with what had happened. I wanted to get a breast reduction.

01:13:27:16 So I went and found a wonderful plastic surgeon to go get a breast reduction because I have a herniated disk, my back hurts. I was a bigger chested little girl. And I really didn't want to have the big chest as much anymore. And I felt like I had a little bit of time off after Christmas. I could probably 01:13:47:00 get that to happen. Everybody thought I was crazy. But that's okay. I'm used to that. I was like no, I really feel the desire to not listen to anybody.

01:13:56:11 So I go and I find a plastic surgeon I really really believed in and I loved his work. I then went to go and do all the preop for the surgery. And one of the things that I had to do for the preop was get a mammogram. And I was kind of perplexed by it.

01:14:12:24 Because I was like isn't that what those old ladies get. I'm like wait a minute. What do you mean a mammogram? Well, I go in for that mammogram and 3 and a half hours later, my doctor is sort of sitting me down and kind of letting me know that they found something.

01:14:28:20 And I was like, what do you mean found something. Like something good, something bad. I was just kind of not quite sure. But I was definitely sensing from her that it was something not good.

. DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:14:42:12 Something serious.

ANASTACIA:

Something definitely that needed to be taken out. And she was using those words that were very very media friendly. You know not quite stepping on the toes until you're really really sure. But I could feel from her energy that this was not a good thing.

01:14:57:18 And at that time I had gone to this mammogram appointment by myself. And towards the end of that very day, after I had spoken to my plastic surgeon and my head physician, I was getting the opinion that the word cancer was being used.

01:15:14:01 And I was like, okay wait, what do you mean. Like - and I was trying to just sort of absorb it and look at it like I need to joke about this because this can't really be true. I just - forget it, I don't want to get a reduction.

01:15:28:11 Just kidding you know. And unfortunately it wasn't that. I - I went in on Monday and got my mammogram. And by Thursday I had gone in to get a biopsy. And by Friday, I found out I had cancer.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:15:48:08 How does a 30 year old woman, a vivacious sexy beautiful 30 year old woman even process those words. Breast cancer.

ANASTACIA:

01:15:58:20 Well we cried. We don't wear makeup and we cry and we cry and cry. I -

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

It's not supposed to happen to you.

ANASTACIA:

01:16:06:14 It's not supposed to happen to me from what I thought. But from what I found out about cancer, is so much different than what I was fed. The stories that were all fed about cancer - I hate to say the word lies, but they're very strong misconceptions.

01:16:23:24 And they're a little bit delusional. We are a society that is getting cancer and breast cancer far more frequently and far earlier than we ever did. And I didn't really know that because every time I'd go into the doctor's office, they would ask the question, do you have it in your family.

01:16:44:22 And I don't. And then they'd look for the tumors or masses and I didn't have any. So of course me going into this mammogram office, I'm going well what are you finding. If you don't find a tumor and I don't have it in my family, how could I have breast cancer? 01:17:01:10 Where did I get it. And they've pretty much told me that about 20 percent of all women that have breast cancer are hereditary. 80 percent of all women that have breast cancer are hands up.

01:17:18:18 We don't know why. It could be environmental. It could be stress related. There could be other reasons that are not clinically diagnosed of [ ? ] of a reason. But that's what I found out when I was diagnosed.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:17:37:14 The perception is quite the opposite. That most are hereditary and if you're young and no history -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

01:17:41:12 Well look at, look at our insurance companies. They all are allowing you to get a mammogram after 40. And they're paying for it after 40, God bless their little hearts. But unfortunately a lot of people are getting breast cancer before 40. And we have to pay for our mammograms.

[OFF-MIKE OFF TOPIC]

ANASTACIA:

01:18:19:11 But it is a big misconception of the mammogram and when to take it. When I took my mammogram at my age, I had to pay for it. But once I got diagnosed with cancer, it's free. Good luck, that's great. But you have to pay for it if you are just trying to maintain the health in your self.

01:18:41:06 It's unfortunate but until we lobby against our insurance companies and try to make them lower the bar to 30 or 35, we are gonna have a lot of women that have a lot more serious cancers than I have if this bar is not lowered.

01:18:56:26 And it is just the reality.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

When you heard those words, breast cancer, what did it do to your world?

ANASTACIA:

01:19:02:21 I felt very vulnerable. I felt very little. I felt very small. I was scared of the unknown. I was confused. Yet within all of that, I was determined to fight it. I was determined to conquer it. I was determined to help others.

01:19:31:10 I was determined to go public. I was - like all of these things all at once though. I had a surgery - I'd be like I'm gonna fight it. I'm gonna go - you know like it was just like this - this roller coaster of emotions.

01:19:46:00 But I was just trying to go through them all. So I allowed them to be present and not deny them. Because once you embrace your feelings, the negative ones will go away if you embrace them and the positive ones will stand forward. That's usually been my source of strength is not denying the things that need to come forth. Allowing them to be.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:20:06:06 Many people would have retreated. Would have had to take a little while to just sort of resolve.

ANASTACIA:

Well I retreated for like 4 days.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

4 days. Not exactly a long time.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

You know I got a big itinerary. I retreated for - for me, 4 days is a long time. 01:20:24:23 I'm a very open person and a very - I'm a book that, that can be read. I don't hold in my feelings. And I don't hold in my stories to be a mysterious artist.

01:20:36:00 I'm not really that way. I say it the way I say it. I write my lyrics very upfront and personal and truthful. So I don't believe that I was attacking my cancer with - I need to be a different person. I attacked it the same way. I allowed myself to cry [ ? ] commercial if I felt the need.

01:20:53:19 And I allowed myself to laugh at the word cancer if I had to. And within that process it was, to me, I, I really have taken a long time off of technically working. The very first day I pretty much went back to work since my surgery was when I sang at - at the In Style Oscar party.

01:21:14:24 It was very, the first time that I really had done anything press related which was very strange. It was like 6 weeks after the surgery and I was kind of just a little nervous about being in a fishbowl. But it was - once I put out the first note -

01:21:33:12 - and of course I'm singing with Elton John and I'm singing the bee is back. Because I don't know if you can say that word on TV. But if you know Elton John, you know what that word is.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:21:41:06 We know the song, rhymes with witch.

ANASTACIA:

YEs, the witch is back. And - and so - so I did that song just sort of emulating I'm here. And I'm a survivor. And I want others to see the - the positivity in it. But I also want others to learn from my early diagnosis which is, mine was a fluke.

01:22:05:12 You then - other people can change their diagnosis from stage 2 to a stage zero or a stage one. They can change their diagnosis if they decide not to buy that bag and decide not to buy those shoes and decide to put a little bit of money into a mammogram once a year.

01:22:23:16 We all are loving to go shopping and loving to get our hair done. But how about holding off on a haircut because we know how expensive that is. And holding off on just a couple of things in life.

[OFF-MIKE OFF TOPIC]

ANASTACIA:

01:22:44:00 How about instead of on your birthday getting presents, why don't you just allow people to give you just $10 cash. Each and every person that's gonna give you a gift, just ask for $10 cash so that you can say, this $10 is going to my mammogram.

01:22:56:04 I'm gonna be my own donation source and foundation. And I can't afford it myself because I'm living check to check. And we all know that there's a lot of people that have lived check to check. I have lived check to check.

01:23:09:18 So I know exactly how to make a mammogram happen living check to check. It's just all about, if you want to do it, then - and if you care about yourself and the people that love you, care about you. Year boyfriend doesn't have to get you flowers for Valentine's day.

01:23:24:23 He doesn't have to spend $50 on flowers that are gonna die. Why doesn't he spend $50 on a life that he wants to keep around.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:23:37:00 Let's go back before you - you reapproached him before your surgery. Once this was - once you were diagnosed, you had the announcement out there pretty quickly. Everyone knew that you were [ ? ] and that you were going to be having surgery.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

- really put that announcement out myself.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:23:51:28 Okay, well it was out there.

ANASTACIA:

It was out there. Whew, I found out I had cancer on Friday and by Monday morning, I had gotten a call from the World News saying in 7 minutes, we are leaking that you have cancer. Would you like to give a statement. So you know I mean -

01:24:11:03 - hey pressure's on. I did. But I, I mean I don't, I don't really remember what I said but I said when I read it back a week later, because I was like - I was a little gone. I, I said exactly what I felt at that time which was, I'm a survivor and I'm strong.

01:24:26:22 And I don't know what I'm up against but at the end of the day, I, I have the faith that I'm gonna pull through it in, in either a long term or a short term. I, I don't really know but I'm here to - to be a fighter.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

01:24:39:02 So it wasn't your choice. You were outed essentially.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

01:24:41:25 I was outed. I don't know by whom. And it really doesn't matter to me. Because it's not about blaming anyone. I - I do have cancer. And I'm not, I wasn't going to be silent about it anyway. I just wanted enough time to process it.

01:24:58:18 Which I don't believe I was given enough time to process it. But I, I don't resent anyone for it. I'm not angry about that. I'm not embarrassed to have breast cancer. But as I've been told by my doctors, it's a shameful disease.

01:25:13:10 And it stems from back in the day when all they did was just cut off the breast. The minute they told you you had cancer. They didn't even try to save your femininity. They just let go of it and gave you the boyish figure you also didn't want forever. So I do believe that, that I'm here to try and - and embrace the fact that I don't want it to be a shameful disease.

01:25:39:25 And an untalked about disease. It, it's a disease. And there's no shame in it. Just because it is attacking a very feminine part of a woman's body that quote unquote is a highly publicized area for men to enjoy. It doesn't mean that without it, you are less of a woman.

01:26:00:07 Just the women that can't give birth aren't less mothers if they adopt. I mean these are things that we do know for sure, for sure. And you have to be able to not beat yourself up over things like that being out of your control.

01:26:17:00 There's no shame in something that's out of your control.

[OFF-MIKE OFF TOPIC]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Take me back Anastasia, to the night before the surgery, because on, on our tape you've so eloquently talked about your feelings, what you were going through. Because you're literally about to learn how dangerous and how serious this cancer is.

What goes through your mind -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

02:01:01:02 Yeah. I - I wasn't really tired and I always, I must admit I didn't really 100 percent find out everything that I needed to do during my surgery. I sort of knew I was gonna have surgery, I knew I was gonna have the reconstruction.

02:01:26:01 And because some people that I know had had breast reductions and breast surgeries, I'd sort of gone on some of their stories. And this one person's story where that, I was blow drying my hair 4 days later. So I was like really?

02:01:42:20 That's totally something I would do. So I got real excited. Yo, there was no blow dry happening. It was very rugged and I, I really was very unprepared for the pain and probably more unprepared for the fact that I don't take pain pills well.

02:01:59:15 And I don't hold them down well and they don't really stay in my system. Maybe just because I, I don't really do anything altering very often that my system stays clean. So it rejects - stuff a lot. So I got very sick a lot of the times on all of the medications that I took right after surgery.

02:02:21:14 And they were pain pills. So whatever I was taking, whether it was vicodan or demerol or -or morphine or darvacet or everything I took. And I was just like - that's not working. That's not working. I would look at them and be like the pain is not over there.

02:02:37:24 It's over here. The drugs seemed to be taking the pain over there. But it's right here and I'm still looking at it.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

And how bad was the pain?

ANASTACIA:

02:02:48:04 It was the kind of pain that you just didn't even want to laugh. You didn't want to cry. You couldn't do either one of those because you brought blood somewhere else. It was just wrong, you know. It was - I could barely sit up.

02:03:02:11 I could barely sit up for the first 4 days. Because it just killed to - to have the pressure of my, my own chest weight change. The drain tubes that I had and which I - those are things that I didn't know I was gonna havE. That was a nice surprise. I was like, oh what is this. Well, okay. So literally had drain tubes in both breasts.

02:03:32:21 Which to be honest, I'm very glad I had it because I can only imagine the pain I would have had without them. But they take away the pressure because they drain the excess fluid that could build up in your chest after surgery.

02:03:44:01 And not very - slightly flashy -fashionable. But to the - to the naked eye, they wouldn't know how - how necessary those tubes were. There's so much that I just - I couldn't even get up and use the bathroom the first 2 days.

02:04:10:17 And I mean I - I'm a young woman. I just couldn't believe that it was that painful where if I tried to sit up, I was gonna pass out. And I was so scared if I passed out, I was gonna be in more pain because I would have like leaned back or fallen. It was - the anxiesty of everything was just so -

02:04:30:04 - I just tried to keep such a zen philosophy throughout the whole situation. Because if I got too upset about anything, it was just too painful. Around the 5th day I got, I was able to get emotional. Because the tubes were out and - and I think that once I found out that my lymph nodes were pristine, I lost it.

02:04:59:00 And I didn't lose it for joy. I lost it for sadness. I lost it for saying - I had already prepared myself for the other news. I had prepared myself for bad news. And - said you know what, I can go through this. I've got the finances, I've got the resources, I've got the doctors.

02:05:21:08 I am sombody who could go through this and deal with it better than someone who - who is not able to afford the proper situation. And someone that doesn't have the support ground of friendships and love and fans that I do. And when I got the news that my lymph nodes were pristine, I was so sad for everyone that doesn't get that news.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:05:43:20 Instead of thinking how joyous you should be.

ANASTACIA:

I felt so responsible - I felt so responsible that - that I had a great life. I have great music, I have great fans. And now I have another easy ticket in. You know and I felt like, if I could take it away from somebody, I would go through the situation to just take it away from somebody who doesn't have it like I do right now.

02:06:19:27 And, and after I had been able to absorb the guilt of hearing the news, I then turned it around. And I said all right, Big C, now you're asking for it. Now I'm gonna go on anything that I can go on. I am gonna try to heal anybody's heart that could possibly have this.

02:06:42:00 I want to, if i'm gonna be healthy you asked the wrong person to have the Big C. You attacked the wrong person. Because I am unstoppable and I'm now taking it in a whole nother way. So it's - it's a journey that has been very interesting for me.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:06:58:29 Is it a mission now to fight this disease?

ANASTACIA:

It's - it's not a mission, that's just - it's a desire. It's a - it's a spiritual question. It's a - it's inevitable. It's exactly what was supposed to happen. And I, I'm not here to change it at all. I would never ever change it. 02:07:23:21 I'm glad that I am capable of fighting the fight right now. I'm grateful for the ability to fight the fight. Because if, if they weren't going to stamp me with immediate chemo right now, then I need to help others.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:07:43:28 Talk to me about getting to this point. Did you hit a point where you asked why me.

ANASTACIA:

No, no, never.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

You never wondered why - I'm angry that this happened to you.

ANASTACIA:

02:07:51:11 Oh no, no, no. I never got angry. I completely knew exactly the reason why. I knew exactly why I was chosen.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Why?

ANASTACIA:

02:07:59:26 Because I'm in a position where I can help others and I'm in a position where I'm not just a receptionist at a salon, I'm a singer who touches millions of people and my words and my knowledge of what I'm learning from what I learned from poems to what I'm learning from cancer can help millions.

02:08:20:00 And if I can help millions, even if I help one person, that's one person more than none. And I already have helped people. And I already have gotten letters from people that they went out and some of them discovered things.

02:08:34:09 And some of them didn't. But they went out and realized, I didn't know that I could be a victim to this too. I thought you had to have it in the family. I thought this, I thought that. And you know most of us do think that. But I'm here to just let everybody know you know you - you don't know.

02:08:54:24 And not to live in fear. But just not to live in - when it happens, I'll take care of it then, which is the philosophy of most people. Say I love you to somebody. Don't just wait until oh, my God, they're -they're almost dying.

02:09:05:22 I think I love you. These are things that we are a pro - procrastination society. And I'm here to try to teach people not to procrastinate on their health and - and their loved ones period.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:09:19:08 What has the fans' responses been like?

ANASTACIA:

Oh wow. I have had like just such unconditional support from my fans. Not expecting - they don't care if I ever perform again. They just want me to be healthy. They've sent many many amazing letters from people who have had family members with cancer. And their stories behind it to help me 02:09:47:20. I have had young girls give me their letters on how I can go through my radiation and chemo so that I could probably have an easier time. When I should take my chemo.

02:10:00:02 And when I should take my medicines. So that there's less nausea. I've had the most amazing information from my fans in a family friendly doctor way that it's just made me so - so touched by - I mean and everyone just comes out and they're like, hey, I'm a survivor.

02:10:24:18 You know I'm like hey, hi how are ya. And - but unfortunately they're -sometimes they're shy to tell me they're a survivor. And that's still sad. Because I don't want them to have to whisper it to me. I want them to be proud.

02:10:43:07 A friend of mine just recently made me a shirt that said Survivor Chick on it. And - and I said, oh that's me. That's completely me. I am a survivor chick.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:10:54:26 You talked about Crohn's before. This isn't the first time that you've had to take on a disease. To fight for your health

ANASTACIA:

02:11:01:25 As strange as it is, even though it's not my first disease, it's my first adult disease. And I got Crohn's when I was 13. So I think I really didn't even know what a serious disease I had until I was 20 and had a relapse that was pretty monumental to my health.

02:11:22:21 And - and I was hospitalized. And that was the very last time I was hospitalized with Crohn's. But I - I really have never dealt with anything this impacful since I've been a grown, grown adults. I was young and able to let my parents and my - my family absorb and make me think everything was okay. 02:11:50:04 And when they'd come in, they wouldn't come in with truth. They'd be you're fine honey. Just like you do to any children. And then I'm like I'm fine, great. Okay, great.

02:11:59:06 But I have a big scar. What does that mean. What's that mean. Okay, it hasn't faded. I thought it was gonna fade into nothing you know. I'm like okay, mom, it's like 3 years. My scar hasn't faded. WEll it's [ ? ] take a while honey.

02:12:15:19 Sometimes things like that take a while.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

But you seem to wear that scar proudly.

ANASTACIA:

02:12:19:06 Oh I wear it like a little, little soldier. It's my, it's my badge of honor. And it really the same way that - now I have scars on other parts of my body and, and those are war wounds. Those are - those are survivor wounds. And you should never feel shy about not being perfect. Because it's not about being perfect. And unfortunately we always learn that it's about being perfect.

02:12:46:18 That you should be proud of your imperfections. Because they keep you individual. They keep you homing into who you really are and what you really are. And so, no, a flat stomach should have a pierce in it and it should be fab.

02:13:02:26 No, mine has a big slab scar on it and I'm like fab. It's just what - what I've gotta do to, to survive is just allow myself to be humble and humane and normal. Instead of this image of smoke and mirrors.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Perfection.

ANASTACIA:

Yeah.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:13:21:01 How did your family handle the cancer.

ANASTACIA:

My family had the strong chin in front of me and my mom had a car accident. My sister cried like crazy during my surgery. I mean God bless their little hearts but it hit them hard. And it hit them hard because it was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to them.

02:13:49:09 And they were gonna come down and support me with my breast reduction surgery and be there for me. And this was a different thing. And when I was on the operating table and they thought they were gonna remove my whole breast -

02:14:07:26 - and that they had also thought that the cancer had traveled to my lymph nodes because in the two weeks from biopsy to the actual surgery date, my cancer had spread really fast. And that's why there was so much reconstruction to do in - in my surgery that they didn't expect to do. Because they had to take so much more tissue out than initially thought.

02:14:35:23 And when my family was there listening to the information and heard that they took two lymph nodes out instead of one and then 40 percent of my breast instead of 5 and oh my God. And then if they get the diagnosis that the lymph nodes came back and if they were tainted, they would take off my breast.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:14:55:25 A lot of news.

ANASTACIA:

A lot of news to get. And I really wasn't told all of it. I think they do that to every patient. Until bad news needs to be said. But they had to sit with it for 4 days as a family. And I know that that was hard for them.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:15:14:13 Hours before the surgery, you really didn't know how involved it was going to be. How scared were you?

ANASTACIA:

02:15:19:18 I - I tried to have a lighthearted approach to it. But I will admit when I was in the car ride to the - the surgery, there was like a moment of silence and I was just sort of looking outside. And the sun was rising.

02:15:40:25 And I was just like - I - I sort of had that feeling of - like a sadness of - I'm just scared. I'm scared of I don't know what. Because I had never done this before. You know it was more of a scary feeling of, I'm going into this uncharted land.

02:16:02:07 And I don't even know what it is. And of course I only allowed that to be for a period of time because I - I don't really belieev in - in allowing those feelings to -to take you over. So I - shrugged it off and I took a deep breath.

02:16:24:20 And when I got out of the car at the - at the hospital where I had to do the first procedures, I found out a couple of things I didn't know I was gonna do. I found out that - it was, just it's just inevitable -found out I had to get -

02:16:43:11 - prior to getting the needle locator in the breast so that they could find out where the cancer was with the mammogram, I had to get a shot in my breast that injected you with dye so that they could actually locate the tissue easier.

02:16:57:19 I had no idea I was getting that shot. So here I am just kind of, well, what's this. I'm getting another shot. Oh great. Okay. Great. And then they tell me that the shot I'm gonna get is kind of radiation dye. Okay, great, you're putting radiation in me. Okay, great.

02:17:15:05 And then they tell you that your urine is going to be blue. And I was like okay. For how long. I was gonna like have 2000 flushes for how long? And so it's, I'm starting to absorb that kind of stuff. And then I get in for my mammogram and they put a needle in you.

02:17:35:00 Well, instead of one needle, they put 2 needles in. Because they had to locate it properly. And so one needle's hard enough. Let me just tell you, two needles is a little much.]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

And these are [ ? ] needlels -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

02:17:45:23 You know and now I understand why women possibly faint because you just sort of go -you're a little loopy in there. You can't breathe. Smashes you down. You're boxed in and closed out. It's a little much. So I started seeing them little dots.

02:18:01:25 You know I was like okay, I'm - a little tweet tweet birds. I was like ah, girls, we may have to lay, lay your girlfriend back. She might just float away in a minute.

02:18:11:29 So I did that and then had to drive with the 2 needles in my arm and the cup over my needle to the - the actual surgery operating room that I had chosen to get my surgery in. Which was my plastic surgeon's private facility. And I wanted to stay there.

02:18:30:11 Because I felt that that was gonna give me more security for privacy. Because I felt like I didn't really have it from the first procedure being so exposed to the public.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:18:42:19 What about when you came out of the surgery. I mean I know you had the pain but emotionally, you looked like your spirit had just been zapped.

. ANASTACIA:

02:18:48:21 I - I was not prepard for all the pain. I was really not prepared for all the pain. I thought there's so many drugs. Like couldn't they just give me drugs. But none of them worked. So I think that it was just really -

02:19:05:22 I had to stay so like - I couldn't do anything. Because if i did anything, it would hurt more. And I - even though I was getting medication and I was getting pain medication, it was making me chill. But it wasn't making the pain go away. So it would mellow me out in order to stay like not cry, not laugh, not do anything too much. But it's kind of hard for me not to laugh. My whole life is about jumping around and having a good time. So even within being ill, I'm like making stupid faces.

02:19:44:00 And like I would realize the camera's there and - and just be kind of silly at the same time. I just, I think that's just part of who I am. And it's sick or no sick, it's just kind of there.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:20:01:07 What got you through those first few days. I know you're incredibly close to your family. To your dog, Freak.

ANASTACIA:

Yes.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:20:05:12 What got you through it.

ANASTACIA:

God bless. Freak wasn't really allowed to be near me with his little bouncy butt. My dog being as vivacious as he is, would have bounced on me and I would have launched him so far across the room he would have just been a fixture.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:20:20:14 So we kept Freak away from you.

ANASTACIA:

Oh yes, Freak was not able to come pounding on mom any time soon. Freak had to be isolated into the living room with, with my mom. And then he slept with my mom instead of me. But he sort of got used to the fact that he doesn't walk here right now.

02:20:36:22 Still to this day, I don't put anything there like a pillow or anything. But now he like walks around me and he'll like walk up to my stomach. And then like try to like lean and kiss me. And then I kind of let him know it's okay to kiss me. But he's very cautious. Very strange enough how, how very intense animals can be with you. But he's very cautious to avoid - the danger zone.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:21:00:17 What did you think, what did you pull on, what did you draw on to get you through those early days?

ANASTACIA:

02:21:03:07 I - I don't know. I just draw on my own self - self preservation of the way that I live every day of my life. Which is just a survivor technique that I used to get through everything. To get through a hard day of work, to get through bad news to good news.

02:21:18:12 And - and have a clear head and a - and a sound mind about it. I - I didn't really concentrate on pulling through anything specific. I - I spent a lot more intense time alone the very first week and a half. Not alone alone.

02:21:41:00 But not really communicating too much of my feelings other than when your cameras were in my fce. Then I had -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

As gentle and friendly as they are.

ANASTACIA:

As you know - at least there were no lights and hair and makeup around me so that did feel more intimate.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:21:57:15 Did you find yourself reevaluating, looking at your life in a different way.

ANASTACIA:

I think the only thing I have done differently in my evaluation of - of being diagnosed with cancer is that my level of taking other people's - sometimes the way that other people are with their selfishness and their being inconsiderate and just not being very present to the moment -

02:22:14:08 I don't have as much patience for those people anymore. Where I would always allow them and still to this day allow people to be who they need to be. But it doesn't mean that they need to keep on existing in my life or continue the conversation for a long duration.

02:22:14:08 Like I would let it go on before. Now I cut the conversation off. And I just say, we just need to just not either have a conversation or there are 1 or 2 people who have been people that I realize were a little bit not really somebody that I needed in my life.

02:22:14:08 Because I felt that their philosophies or the way that they lived was not the kind of philosophy that I've lived with. And I think it just became apparent after cancer. You know I lived with that philosophy before cancer.

02:22:14:08 I lived with a gratefulness and a appreciation. and a faith in life and a love and a - and a wonderful exuberant emotional attachment to presence and it just got a little heightened right after cancer. So if it could get any more heightened, it was.

02:22:14:08 And it was heightened more to not accept the ridiculousness that sometimes comes with dealing with certain people.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Do you wake up and look at life differently every day.

ANASTACIA:

02:22:14:08 No. NO, I don't look at life differently. I just have different purposes that I'm not attacking. Which would be the word cancer. And cancer survivors. I am, I have another added plus to my schedule. And another added desire of something that I want to fight for.

02:22:14:08 But life isn't different at all. I think that I, I took things slow anyway because I was a Crohn's patient. Now I'm gonna take things a little slower because now that I've been diagnosed with cancer, it doesn't mean that I'm ill.

02:22:14:08 But it does mean that I want to enjoy every moment. So I'm gonna have to take it a little slower honey. I'm gonna have to not try to do 72 interviews in a day. But I will try to do my 5 to 6 hour in store signings.

02:22:14:08 And still do them. But you know still - still enjoy my life the same way I enjoyed it before. But it's, it's just a nicer journey. It's a nicer journey because I slowed the car down a little.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:22:14:08 But you really don't seem to have slowed down that much.

ANASTACIA:

I know girlfriend -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

- surgery, you were out singing in, in California, you're out making appearances.

ANASTACIA:

02:22:14:08 Well I gotta tell ya, I, I came to California because it was a wee bit too cold for me to be in New York with all my nerves awakened. Like - like the devil. I was like well, I tried to take a walk outside in New York and I was like - [SCREAMS]. I was like, and I would like lose it.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

02:22:14:08 But you didn't come here and just recuperate and lie down. You came and you started performing.

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

ANASTACIA:

02:22:14:08 Oh, I don't know -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

You started hitting the scene.

ANASTACIA:

02:22:14:08 Well, no. I don't -

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

Within a short time,

ANASTACIA:

Within, within a shorter period of time but I do believe that when I hear people tell me they did a blow dry 3 days later, I think that I'm extra retarded when I like sang six weeks later. So -

[BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

- astounding.

ANASTACIA:

02:22:14:08 I'm - I'm grateful to have been able to do that. It - it was an experience that finally brought me over a hump that I needed to be over. And - now I just have to go through the two weeks of radiation which will be an interesting thing while I'm writing my album.

02:22:14:08 Because I, I don't even know what that's going to do to me. Because you never really know what it's gonna do to your body until you go through it. You hear the stories but you've gotta do it yourself to know what your body's going to do.

02:22:14:08 And how you are going to react. So I hope that - that the process is gonna be one that -that is a smooth enough journey for me to just be able to exist a little easier and - and feel like I'm productive. And not feel like I'm just being a lethargic mess for 2 months.

[OFF-MIKE OFF TOPIC]

END TAPE

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:00:44:18 Tell me how life has--changed in terms of your focus and, and people that you know as a result of this. I understand you and Sharon Osborne--

ANASTACIA:

03:00:51:20 Oh--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:00:51:01 --have become close--

ANASTACIA:

03:00:52:25 God bless.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:00:53:13 --the cancer.

ANASTACIA:

03:00:55:23 Sharon Osborne and I were friends--prior. We just didn't, you know--I'm, I'm close to her and her family on a--on us being on the same label, actually.

Her husband and now her daughter and I are both on the same record label. And so we sort of--became friends within being label mates and--and met at a few parties and--and just always--if somebody that I--would work with me would be working on her video we'd call each other and talk to each other and, you know, it would just be very--what--very casual.

03:01:29:22 And the minute--I was diagnosed with cancer--she just was like s--completely affected by it more. And when she was--you know, diagnosed with colon it affected me because I have Crohn's, and you know, the reality being both of us pretty much--strange as it is, almost have the same exact thing with--if I combined my Crohn's and my--and my--cancer it's pretty much what--her colon cancer is because it was found out much later than mine.

03:02:03:06 So she definitely has a harder road than me. But--an amazing, dynamic woman, an amazing, amazing woman 'cause we just--we think a lot alike. You know, we have the same kind of philosophies of the way we decide to--work through things and laugh things off, and--and the rugged approach to the way that things with a very realistic eye but maybe not typically Beaver Cleaver mentality.

03:02:30:16 So we do have a very--very strong draw to each other. And, and she was very happy to hear that her wish for my perky T-----s

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:02:41:17 [LAUGHING]

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:02:41:15 --came through.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:02:42:09 [LAUGHS] As only Sharon can say.

ANASTACIA:

02:02:44:02 As Sharon say--I hope you have perky T-----s.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

00:07:59:29 [LAUGHS]

ANASTACIA:

02:04:43:22 And I say well, they're where [?] they are!

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:02:50:25 [LAUGHS]

ANASTACIA:

03:02:52:06 So--

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:02:52:03 You seem to be--embracing this role, I guess, as a spokesperson now to--to fight--I mean, is that how you sort of see yourself now--

[OVERTALK]

--as somebody who is out there to try to put a face on cancer, breast cancer?

ANASTACIA:

03:03:06:06 Yeah, because why can't people with breast cancer be pin up chicks. [LAUGHS] I've already made four-eyed pinup chicks look okay. You know, I'm defying all the rules. You can have a scar, you can wear glasses, and you can have--booby cancer!

03:03:20:23 It's just--it is what it is. You know, I--I'm not here to claim that--that everyone with cancer is going to--you know, have--a, a horrible look 'cause Sharon looks absolutely wonderful, and she's been far--far through--worse stuff than me.

03:03:40:24 I think that I do not mind being labeled as more of a spokesperson for breast cancer, someone that people can look to as a survivor and a strong survivor, a young survivor, someone that's not shy and ashamed to talk about it, someone that feels that--my words might help others. Usually they do. People turn to music all the time to heal. People turn to--you know, a lot of people for guidance within their own struggle. You know, when people lose and have loss of life, they go to a support group to talk to other people that have lost people.

03:04:22:29 You know, I mean, there's--that's just what we do as a society sometimes; to know you're not alone is the most important thing. And--and I know I'm not alone in this fight. I just know that there aren't as many people willing to talk about it. But I hope to change that.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:04:35:12 Are you out to fight the stigma?

ANASTACIA:

03:04:37:08 Oh, I'm--absolutely--I'm, I'm totally out to fight the stigma. I want--before I die, I want it to be changed. I want--40 to not be the number. I want 30 or possibly 35 to be the number in insurance to get a mammogram. It's just--it's not fair. It's just not a fair thing when, when cancer is now becoming so evident and so prevalent in the younger generation that--insurance companies are pretty much telling us that they don't care about us. And they'd rather take care of you really sick--

03:05:12:25 It'd be a lot easier if you could take care of it at 30 than 40, honey, you know, a lot cheaper on insurance companies too if they look at the statistics. Hello? You know.

03:05:20:27 I'd rather treat, you know, pre-cancer ductile--insutra [?] than I'd rather treat stage--two or three cancer which they're constantly, you know, sick and constantly using up every ounce of insurance that they could possibly have.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:05:38:09 And what--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:05:38:21 So--

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:05:38:21 And what about the shame? Have you been surprised about the shame attached to cancer?

ANASTACIA:

03:05:43:16 I'm--I am surprised about it because there should be nothing people are ashamed of. I mean, in this day and age--if you have to get a mastectomy you can throw another one right back on there. You know, it's really not that bad anymore. [LAUGHS] You know?

03:05:58:25 You can buy a breast like you can buy an apple. You know, hello, they're out there everywhere nowadays, and really good jobs at that. So you can get breast augmentation, and it can work for you. And--you know, you can save up for it or--you know, there sometimes are hard situations where for a period of time you have to go through that transition period where you can't quite get--the surgery before the cancer's completely gone, and you have to go through a period of time when--you have the mastectomy itself and--

03:06:32:08 So I mean, I--I definitely think that--I'm trying to avoid the shame. You know, I want to try to--bring--the--[PAUSE] I want to bring the focus away from the shame.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:06:46:28 Help Middle East

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS] [PAUSE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:06:53:13 Since we had such a amazing video of you, Anastacia, before the surgery, I want to make sure we cover that thoroughly so we can sort of, you know, cover sort of pictures of you and so forth.

03:07:03:08 So let me go back to and make sure we sort of covered it thoroughly, the night before, the day before, what you were sort of thinking and feeling as you were getting ready for this--

[OVERTALK]

--lifechanging surgery.

ANASTACIA:

03:07:16:00 Well, I had to like, you know, [PAUSE] make sure that I, I--I, you know, I had--I think I had a real big journey trying to get a after-surgery garment that you wear after the surgery. It's, it's a--pretty much they call it an exercise bra that they want you to wear and it opens up in the front.

03:07:40:26 And I had the biggest struggle trying to get that because they really only had--[PAUSE] them available in small, medium, large from the medical shop. And so--I mean, I ordered the small and the medium just to see--and neither one of them were doing anything--to support me.

03:08:00:26 And--I--really realized that there really wasn't anything out there. The one place that I found--one bra that actually--worked--which--

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS] [PAUSE]

ANASTACIA:

03:08:38:25 The--the one thing that was the hardest thing for me to find--pre-surgery and, you know, until the---pretty much the day before surgery was an actual bra that I could wear after surgery. And I know that that's--sounds like an easy thing, but--I was looking for a front closure--support bra, which is what they wanted you to get. So--in looking I went through all the medical books and there was just one that you could get. So I ordered it, not the kind of bra that you need because it's a small, medium, large and it totally, you know, too small for the cups, too large for the rib cage. It just didn't support anything.

03:09:16:10 And then--I needed a front closure and no wires, no underwires. So I was trying to look for anything that opened up in the front, and I couldn't find anything. The one bra that I found--was at a mastectomy store, and it was a whopping 110 dollars.

03:09:37:08 And of course, you don't want one bra to wear for a month and a half, you had to like get two or three. So here I'm going wow, I'm going to have to spend like--350 dollars on a--bra. Okay, wait, I'm bling-bling but yo--there isn't gold lame all [LAUGHS]--you know, it's not gold plated. And I have a problem with that.

03:09:56:08 So, needless to say, in my frustration, I went to a store and bought a great over the head running exercise bra and slit that puppy down the middle and made my seamstress put hook and eyes on it, and created my own bra 'cause, you know, where there's a will there's a way.

03:10:15:28 And within that process I realized that is where--you know, that is a big chunk that we're missing out of--quote, unquote "fashion to women," as well as, you know, health fashion.

03:10:28:18 But just in general who wants to throw a exercise bra so tight that you're like double joint your shoulders to get in and you know, your hair gets caught in the back and--it rolls back up in the back and you got to roll it back and--who wants to do that? Can't you just roll it on and roll it off and it's a done deal?

03:10:43:20 So I'm working on trying to get that made, with--a big--[PAUSE] sports company, nameless, shall we say, 'til it happen. But--it is--it's something that I felt was--a needed garment in--in our field.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:11:01:14 Was it just part of the frustration of getting ready to deal--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:11:04:19 Yeah, it was like--

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:11:04:26 --with this illness?

ANASTACIA:

03:11:05:27 --you know, it's bad enough that--you're going through cancer, but you're going into Macy's and you're going into all these stores, and you're trying to find a front closure bra. And I'm telling 'em--it's for breast surgery, and they're showing me bras with under wire. And I'm like--[PAUSE] okay, do you have like--any other bra that won't have an underwire. You know, everything they're showing me is real dainty and pretty with like a little snap in the front.

03:11:31:00 And I'm like okay, that's so not going to work, I mean--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:11:32:25 They don't get it.

ANASTACIA:

03:11:34:02 No. And then when you go to medical stores they only have one and it's with like the wrongest zipper and it's like three dollars, and it's so not going to work. [?]

03:11:44:21 And then, of course, God bless the mastectomy store gave me one that closed in the front, closed in the back and had velcro--you know, shoulders. And I was like okay, now I feel like I'm in a straight jacket.

03:11:54:15 So it really was--I realized--I mean, I went for like three days and looked. And I have sources. You know, I had every--I had--my publicist was calling up, my manager was calling--[LAUGHS]--my sister. Everyone's looking right and left for the bra! You know, and I just had to end up creating my own, you know, bra and, and it worked well 'cause I bought a bra for 30 bucks and you know, and thank God, my seamstress felt guilty to charge me, so that was free!

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:12:19:25 So you got that done. [LAUGHS]

ANASTACIA:

03:12:21:25 Yeah.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:12:21:23 What else did you worry about--those--

[OVERTALK]

[ ? ] days before?

ANASTACIA:

03:12:25:06 [PAUSE] I think I went through a period of time of worrying about--[PAUSE] meeting someone after cancer and knowing if that was going to even be a possibility.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:12:37:17 A man.

ANASTACIA:

03:12:37:26 Yeah. And I didn't feel that way when I was going to get a reduction with the same scars. But all of a sudden the word "cancer" became involved, and I was like why does somebody want like a double disease, you know, dame. [LAUGHS] Why do I want the double d chick, you know?

03:12:56:23 I just didn't really know if--if I was going to be--able to deal with that part of--dating, you know, and--and wrapping my head around that. And that was before the surgery. I'm fine now. [LAUGHS] Everything's fine now.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:13:15:18 But you were really worried about the future--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:13:17:09 Yeah, I was worried about the future--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:13:17:29 --and what that would mean, and romance and--

ANASTACIA:

03:13:18:14 --I was worried about, you know, 'cause you didn't know where you were going with the cancer. I didn't know what--diagnosis I was going to get. I didn't know what was going to happen. So if it got worse, you know, and I, I just had to keep getting further and further into all of the recovery process, I just didn't know if it was ever going to be a possibility, especially in my career being hard to meet somebody anyway.

03:13:44:08 And I was like God, life is just really pushing me to that single door, isn't it? [LAUGHS] Oh my gosh, darn. I'll just walk right through it.

03:13:52:08 But--yeah, I think it's been nice ever since. I was sent someone, so it's--you know--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:14:00:16 You met someone since--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:14:01:03 I met someone since. He likes the little, you know, bionic boobs that I've got. [LAUGHS] Nnnnnn--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:14:09:19 So it certainly didn't hamper your love life--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:14:08:13 It didn't, it didn't hamper--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:14:11:01 --your intimate life--you--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:14:12:05 --meeting somebody spiritually. In fact, it probably enhanced--meeting somebody because the right person came along that really, really is just such a--blessing, somebody who I wished would have come along much earlier. But--time tells all.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:14:30:08 How terrified were you the day after and the days after?

ANASTACIA:

03:14:34:13 [PAUSE] I had already accepted the word "cancer." I had already accepted the actual surgery. So I wasn't terrified for anything to happen anymore. After surgery happened it just was what it was. And I accepted--being a cancer--victim, a cancer survivor. And then I also accepted whatever was to come. Bald head--I started talking about wigs, started talking about everything that I would have needed and joking about it.

03:15:08:29 You know, I was like this is going to be exciting, I could talk to Cher. I found out all of her wig people. I could find out everything. I could do this, I could do that.

03:15:15:12 You know, and I--I looked at it more like, you know, going shopping. You know, I could go shopping for hair, I could wear a different color every day. It could be eas--actually more exciting than actually having hair.

03:15:25:16 You know, so I started going into this--whole thing that like, you know, and I was like okay--I guess I'm not going to have to [ ? ] that.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:15:30:23 So your humor kind of--saved it.

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:15:32:04 Yeah, my humor definitely--has to come in on, on a level and, and break up the day of--of drama 'cause it's just not--it's--I, I can't live in the zone of--of being worried about oh my God, you know--I did at the very beginning before the surgery, but then it just--you know, the strong part came out right after that.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:15:53:09 Do you ever have a day that you don't think about the cancer?

ANASTACIA:

03:15:57:05 Yeah. Yeah. [PAUSE] Right after my shower. [LAUGHS] Right after my shower--

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:16:05:24 You mean the first time you were able to shower?

[OVERTALK]

Or you mean, you actually had a shower [?]

ANASTACIA:

03:16:09:07 Oh, you know, it's kind of like--I guess if I don't see a mirror, I forget about the cancer, to be honest with you. Because the scars reminds me of the cancer.

03:16:20:11 I am not a victim. I don't live with victim mentality. So I don't--I don't wear it like--you know, on my sleeve like as if people should, you know, be woe is me. I--speak about it, I'm very proud to be a survivor. Yet, I'm not--worried about having cancer anymore. And I have gone through days since--the diagnosis where--I don't even think about having it. You know? And it doesn't even--it's not even a thought in my mind.

03:16:54:15 It's just that when I see a mirror, I go oh yeah, whoa, look at those. [LAUGHS] I go oh my goodness [LAUGHS], that's right, I had surgery. Oh, wow!

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:17:03:28 What do you say--and what do you want to say to young women out there who--these, these ga-ga fans of yours who you've come to represent so much to? What do you want them to know?

ANASTACIA:

03:17:15:06 [PAUSE] You know, there's so much before the cancer that I've always wanted a lot of women to know. And it's--it's really just pride in yourself as a woman an strength as a woman, not fearing--[PAUSE] ever finding somebody, being a mother, all the things that belong with womanhood, just allowing things to exist.

03:17:39:15 They're going to be feelings that happen within your soul, but don't let them take over your moment of life.

03:17:46:15 I would say that--[PAUSE] own your own, and--and--take care of yourself first, prior to taking care of somebody else because you're no good to somebody else unless you take care of yourself.

03:18:04:23 And when I say take care of yourself I mean just--check yourself, don't let yourself get too--out there in your mind set. Don't think frivolous thoughts. Don't think too much negativity. Don't let yourself play your own violin for yourself so that you can really just, you know, walk some man out your life [?], you know? Don't do things like that so you can walk friends out your life.

03:18:25:02 Be a positive influence to people, be a representative of what you want others to do for you--is what I would say to most people.

03:18:33:24 After cancer it's just a stronger version of that. I would to anyone suffering from cancer keep on pushing because it's not something to be ashamed about. It's not something to be--embarrassed about. Anyone who doesn't know if they have cancer going in for a mammo, just go. Don't be scared. Don't be shy, don't be inhibited, don't put it off another week; don't put it off another week because those are weeks that could be--really hurting you for the future. You know?

03:19:03:13 It's just--the same phrase don't put off tomorrow what you can do today. Do as much as you can to help yourself today because what helps yourself can help others. You know, I don't look lightly at my daily struggle, at my work in progress that I see in myself. I work very hard at that. I learn something every day about a little--a little bit of something I didn't know--anything it is.

03:19:32:02 And I'm grateful for that opportunity to learn. So for me I think that--telling other women to just--allow that to be your journey. Allow yourself to just learn more and more about what life has to offer because you're eternity will be such a better place, you know?

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:19:51:25 A lot of people--not just women--a lot of people are going to look at you in this interview and wonder where in the heck does she get this kind of strength, literally weeks after cancer surgery, after healing. And you sit here and you're laughing and you're positive and you're effervescent. How do you do this?

ANASTACIA:

03:20:10:04 [ ? ] It's my--shampoo.

[LAUGHTER] [PAUSE]

Hello. I, you know, I just--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:20:21:01 I mean, where do you find this?

ANASTACIA:

03:20:22:13 I don't--I don't really know. I think that--[PAUSE] I mean, I have my moments when--when--life is rough, but they're moments. And that's the difference is that people just don't have moments where life is rough; they have like--emotional years where life is rough, and they allow it to exist and be that long.

03:20:43:23 And I say shame on you! You know, I'm sorry, I've had some real terrible things happen to me in my lifetime, and I haven't even discussed them all on your little show.

03:20:51:24 But I am not here to--wear them on my sleeve so that everybody can know like how many things I have had that I have conquered and I have survived.

03:21:01:18 It's going yo, nobody has a worse story than the other person. We all have the demons in the closets, we all have the bones that are big [?]--you know, they're all there but they're not there to be--harped on. And that is my philosophy on anything. It's not something that--I think there's a lot of people out there that think like me.

03:21:21:14 You know, they're just no necessarily in my business because everybody in my business is a little crazy.

[LAUGHTER]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:21:28:09 Have to be to be in the business.

ANASTACIA:

03:21:29:16 You do have to be a little crazy to be in the business.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:21:31:15 What are the doctors saying?

ANASTACIA:

03:21:33:06 They're really--amazed--at--at my recovery, amazed at my bounce back. I think that my plastic surgeon was very surprised that I did not want to look at--his creation right after surgery. I think that was a hard thing for his to swallow because I think I was his first--diagnosis revealed from him sending someone in for a mammo at my age.

03:21:58:29 So I don't think he was prepared for--the absorption I had to take on the cancer level before I was able to enjoy the cosmetic surgery that he did for me.

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:22:10:00 But [ ? ]

ANASTACIA:

03:22:10:07 But I think once he got past that--that part of his own--you know, mind set, he's--he's a very great doctor, my plastic surgeon, and as well as my cancer doctor--was very proud of my strength and very happy that I was going to speak about it, like so--amazed and--questioned me and said are you sure, and--you know, and I was like why are you asking me that.

03:22:37:26 And, and he then proceeded to tell me that most people don't like to talk about it. I have known some women who I'm the only one who knows she has breast cancer. And I'm like oh--really? You know, why--how could people live with that? You know, how could you live with such a--such a terrible secret?

03:22:53:09 You know, but there is so much shame in our society. We have taught our society to have secret shame. And if I can do anything is just trying to teach--some people not to have it, even not even cancer people, but just people in general, people that have to go through surgeries that--change their physical body or--change their way of hanging out or maybe they have to have a colostomy bag, or they can't really socialize.

03:23:20:22 Or maybe some people can't drink, you know, and they want to go out into social places. Have water, girlfriend. Have a cranberry, put a lime in it, they'll think it's, you know, a drink.

03:23:29:23 There are things that you can do to be part of society that you don't have to be a follower.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:23:35:02 What about the prognosis? What are the doctors saying about that?

ANASTACIA:

03:23:36:08 [PAUSE] At this moment I am in the midst of starting my two months of radiation five days a week, 15 minutes a day. That's going to drain me a little. And according to how I recover from that will be the next step of--prognosis.

03:23:55:00 They--they see me as--as someone who will kick it, even if it comes back again, you know. It's just--it is what it is, and--[PAUSE] my personal reflection on it, if it comes back again I'm just going to get a double mastectomy and just get rid of it.

06:48:24:08 And even though it's a tall order--to say I already know what it's like to have it once, I don't need to go through it again if I have an option to not go through it ever again--I'd rather take that step.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:24:29:01 Where do you see yourself in the next--few years, once this is behind you, the treatment? Where are you going to be? Where is Anastasia, the singer, going to be?

[COUGHING IN BACKGROUND]

ANASTACIA:

03:24:36:16 I pray to still be workin'. I pray that--that our society stays strong and we're able to have a clean and healthy society that we can all function and live in. So--according to everyone else's choices they make, obviously my choice is going to be very fundamental[LAUGHS] within that.

03:24:58:01 I--I hope to--have--branched my career into the film--world, as well as music. And--and I will attempt to do that--not declaring that I'm any Meryl Streep, but it would be worth going to see--to think if you ever want to see me again.

[LAUGHTER] [OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

[PAUSE]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:25:53:08 One thing I didn't ask you before when we were talking about just when it all hit you and you were sort of contemplating--were you ever afraid of dying?

ANASTACIA:

03:26:00:27 Oh goodness, no. I'm--I'm not afraid of dying. I--I don't have a fear of--of dying, actually.

03:26:08:22 The only fears that I had was the inevitable of--pain or--recovery or--never doing this before--'cause I'm a relatively--even though I have Crohn's disease, I'm a relatively healthy-minded spirit, healthy chick. So it was just kind of a weird thing to be--hit with such a strong word like cancer, to go wow, I couldn't have had like, you know, a cold or something. [LAUGHS] Wow, I had to have the big C.

03:26:38:26 You know, so it's--I don't really fear dying because most of the time--at least in my life--I'm not in control of the death that could possibly happen to me. I would never kill myself, so other than that, wherever death comes and however it comes, it's going to have to be because it has to happen. You know--

[OVERTALK]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:27:00:26 That wasn't your deepest fear--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:27:01:27 Even if it's a terrible--terrible--accident, that, you know, I--you can't change those things.

03:27:09:20 So there is no fear of--of death for me. I mean, I don't want to go anytime soon. I'm not looking for the, you know, sparkling sky, you know, and going here I come, Benny! You know, but--if it happens, it happens. And--and you'll know that I--I definitely--went with love to whatever other place I need to go to.

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:27:31:23 The time after the cancer, the surgery, the pain, it's all so difficult. Why would somebody--go get tested when they may fear--that, the worst?

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:27:43:16 Oh my goodness, you have to get tested because if you don't, you could have far worse, far worse stuff than I am even talking about and far worse stuff than you have seen on this show.

03:27:55:02 You could go through massive--massive--doctors and massive--operations and life-altering ailment if you do not try to catch it as soon as you can.

03:28:08:01 The sooner you catch this disease, you're smiling like me. [PAUSE] You know, I'm sorry but I look like I'm a survivor because I didn't catch it in stage two and three. It would be much harder for me to be on an interview and try to act like everything's great if I'm going through bouts of chemo every two seconds.

03:28:25:27 You know, hats off to Sharon Osborne, but you know, it's not an easy thing to live with when you're living with a further along cancer than the cancer that I'm living with right now.

03:28:36:02 But it's because I caught it early, because I had a--bug up my buns to just go--smaller in, in a breast reduction and felt that it's a perfect time to do it 'cause the sooner, the better.

03:28:52:20 And I saved my life, my doctor saved my life. And you just have to look at it as if you like life and you want to live it longer, going to get a mammogram even if you get bad results, it's not worse than it could be going 10 years from now and getting it for free [?]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:29:10:06 And having a tragic result--

[OVERTALK]

ANASTACIA:

03:29:11:19 And having a tragic--diagnosis where both of 'em have to come off. Then you have 10 months of chemo. I don't know, I think mine's a lot better. I don't know. Call me crazy. [LAUGHS]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:29:25:04 I would think so.

[OFF-MIKE COMMENTS]

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:29:30:10 'Cause you know, there are some people who are afraid of like having diagnoses--

ANASTACIA:

03:29:32:05 Yeah--

DEBORAH ROBERTS:

03:29:32:11 --just because they're worried that the end could be--

ANASTACIA:

03:25:33:09 Well, absolutely--

[CUT, END OF INTERVIEW]

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