Transcript for Where the Buttafuocos are today: Part 11
I think the box I want is in the garage. Where did I put it? Says shoes. Here it is. Well, it's funny because I was thinking, I was like, do I really want America to know that I'm moving in with my mother at 36 years old? And, yeah. You know, this is something I've wanted for over a year now. About a year ago, my mom got diagnosed with some pretty scary health news. And god forbid she has a stroke or god forbid she falls and hits her head. So it's more peace of mind for me to be able to live with her. My Jessie. That little angel. She has suffered a lot, watching this -- this debacle that has gone on between her mother and her father all these years. And I think she's paid a high price for it emotionally and mentally. Okay, unpacking. Growing up for me, the performing arts was my outlet. When I was on stage, I was a character. I wasn't Jessie buttafuoco. And it was so nice to get out of that reality. And so now, as an adult, I produce children's theater. And I run afterschool theater programs as a way to give back. Because for me, that was such an important space, to grow, to feel safe and protected. My friends call me showtime sometimes because I can be on. I can make you laugh and I can make you happy and smile. But the real me inside is hurting, is in pain, and is just trying to figure out life. I feel guilty sometimes, because of what happened to me, because she seems to be lost a lot, my mothering skills, I wasn't available, I wasn't as available as I would have liked to have been. What makes me the most sad to be honest is my complete inability to be able to love somebody because of all this. Since I was 9 years old, all I've known is that sex and love and intimacy leads to bad things. It's extremely hard for me to even think that love exists. It's really hard to change because I've missed out on that. That's one of the walls that she has put up that I wish she could knock down. I can't console Jessica on that she feels she cannot be loved by others. I love my daughter more than anybody on the planet. You're just like your dad, but she's the best part of her dad. That's what I love in her father, is what she is a lot of. For the first time in my whole life, just a few months ago, he said, "I understand it, that actions have consequences now." I love that Jessica said that to me. And I go, "Oh, now you get it?" Okay. 62, okay. Our son. He wouldn't touch any of this with a ten-foot pole. He doesn't go by his last name. I get it. That's fine. So you have Jessie on the one hand, she wants to reclaim the buttafuoco name and wear it proudly. On the other hand, her brother absolutely refuses to use it. I use my credit card, oh, any relation to Joey? Any relation? Any relation? I hate that. Just because someone has an opinion about it means I have to change my name? Uh-uh. I'm gonna change other people's opinions about it. Jessica told me that she wants to rescue the name buttafuoco and I give her a lot of credit for that. Oh, I'm definitely on my journey. I know I'm probably gonna look at this interview in ten years
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