Readers Write on Spam

On the assumption that much of the Spam stocked away on Y2K worries remains uneaten, we asked readers for suggestions for creative uses of the spiced ham, including their favorite recipes. Or a Spam haiku. Here's a sampling of the responses.

Light a Candle

I have always wanted to make a Spam candle. Three wicks pushed through the loaf, and the tallow should burn nicely.

Of course, I have almost no sense of smell …

As for Spam haiku:

Spam is not a food, Real meat can't be cut with string. Blue tinned destruction.

— S. Chavez

Send It to Hawaii

Send [the surplus] to Hawaii. They are the largest consumers per capita of the stuff. It would help to repay them for all the things the colonials have done to them over time (stole their land, introduced diseases, introduced non-native fauna that decimated their own native animal populations, etc.).

By the way, I love Spam!

— Steve Brown

Provisions in a Bunker

Being so dense, tender, salty and pink, Spam undoubtedly retains some sort of insulation capabilities. This assumption would leave me to believe that it could very well shield a person from the deadly radiation of a nuclear war or meltdown.

We must begin construction of SpamBunkers immediately.

Plus, the bunkers, when no longer needed, could be eaten. This reduces the need for storing emergency food and supplies.

The world is simply a better place because of Spam.

— Marc Biedermann

No Pork Substitutes, Please

I buy [Spam] at a warehouse discount store and use it often in my recipe for fried rice. My family loves it; they'd be happy if I made it more often, so for us there's no such thing as too much Spam!

Just mix the following ingredients in a very large pan (wok-style preferred). Cook over low-to-medium heat until the egg is fully cooked.

First sauté in large pan using olive oil: 1 can cubed Spam (tiny cubes) 1 finely chopped green bell pepper 5 green onions sliced thinly Then add: 8 cups steamed rice (2 cups at a time) stirring 3 eggs scrambled well into the rice. Stir all ingredients together well, and add soy sauce to taste (1/4 - 1/3 cup).Add some grated or finely chopped carrots for texture and color. Cover, stir often checking the egg for doneness. Leftovers refrigerate well in a Tupperware container that you can later put in the microwave to reheat.

I have substituted the Spam with either bacon or ham, but it is sooo much better with Spam! Enjoy.

— Gilda Kimura

Give It to Charity

If I'd been dumb enough to believe all the hype about Y2K and had a surplus of Spam I would have given it to charity.

— Lyndeelou

Looking for a Little Less Salt

I have loved Spam since I was a kid. So handy, open a can of Spam, slice and fry in just a tablespoon of oil. Make sandwich or eat with fried rice or sauté it with veggies.

However, I ca'nt eat it now, as it seems the product got to be too salty. Got same comments from others. Most are too conscious of high sodium nowadays.

Is there Spam noted as "low in sodium"? I have not come across any in grocery stores.

— purie miklja

More Haiku

Spam, a type of ham, Canned ham for war soldiers. Who dine in the dirt.

— Fallon Turner

Call It Art

Drop it out of the can at 5,000 feet, and call the spattered reminents art.

— Brian

Piggy in a Pack

Spam makes the best breakfast when camping.

Cook spam slices in a skillet until lightly brown; remove from pan and cover. Place one package of frozen hash brown potatoes in a skillet and prepare as directed until very lightly browned. Immediately pour six well-beaten eggs over the hash browns. Place spam slices on top and cover with 1 cup grated cheddar cheese. Cover pan and cook over low heat until eggs are set. Enjoy!

This is a classic camping breakfast which has repeatedly been to Yellowstone, Denali, the Grand Canyon, Boy Scout expeditions, etc. and has been almost unanimously enjoyed by many, many people (we have had only one holdout who repeatedly turns up her dainty nose at the mere thought of this excellent cuisine)!

— Sam