This 'Dance' You May Want to Sit Out

Oct. 15, 2004 — -- Now in theaters: "Shall We Dance," "Stage Beauty," "Being Julia," "Vera Drake" and "Team America: World Police."

Shall We Dance: "Shall We Dance" was a gem of a Japanese film a few years ago that did the Hollywood quick-step into motion picture oblivion.

It was a tiny film about very real people; a smart film that assumed the audience was smart enough to follow a very spare story about a middle-class businessman who works too hard, discovers ballroom dancing (a passion of the Japanese middle-class) and surprises himself -- and his family -- with his talent. The End.

The Hollywood version is stuffed with stars, Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Jennifer Lopez, and they're all very good. But it doesn't add up to much.

Gere plays a very successful attorney, but he doesn't seem like the sort who gets smitten by ballroom dancing, so we never believe what we see. (Besides, we know he can dance. We saw him in "Chicago.")

This is not just a bad idea, it's a bad idea poorly executed. The very real people in the Japanese original have become the caricatures reflected through funhouse mirrors, every trait exaggerated.

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Are Japanese audiences that much smarter than American audiences? If they are, it's because they see fewer Hollywood films. "Shall We Dance?" No thanks, I think I'll sit this one out. Grade: C.

Stage Beauty: Back in the '60s, a man could wear women's clothing on stage without anyone batting an eyelash. Of course, I'm talking about the 1660s, when all theater roles were played by men.

In "Stage Beauty" Billy Crudup is the queen of the London Stage, until King Charles II changes the laws and he becomes a virtual nobody. It's a terrific premise. But we're saddled with a movie script that resembles the Boston Red Sox. It fumbles every opportunity for greatness. Grade: C+.

Being Julia: From "Stage Beauty," fast-forward 270 years, to the 1930s ... Now, Annette Bening is the queen of the London Stage and Jeremy Irons is her producer-husband.