March 7, 2010 -- Whether or not she wins an Oscar tonight for "The Blind Side," Sandra Bullock will walk away from this weekend with at least one award: the Golden Raspberry for worst actress in "All About Steve."
Bullock made good on her public promise to accept the worst-in-cinema trophy should she win her category. In the more-freaky-than-funny romantic comedy, Bullock plays a psychotic crossword puzzle writer who decides to stalk Bradley Cooper's character come hell or low water -- and at one point, she falls into a well.
"I didn't realize that all I had to do was show up and then I'd win," Bullock said to the cheering crowd of movie critics and cynics.
She then announced that everyone in the audience would get a copy of the movie that scored her Hollywood's most shameful trophy because she didn't believe that all 700 of the Golden Raspberry Committee's voting members watched it.
"This is the deal I'm going to make," she said. "I will show up next year if you promise to watch the movie, really watch it, and really consider if it really and truly was the worst performance. If you're willing to watch it, I will come back next year and I will give back the Razzie."
Bullock offered another option:
"I brought the shooting script, the final shooting draft," she said. "And I will go page by page by page of my dialogue. I'm going to read the line the way that I read it in the film and then I want anyone who wants to come give me a line reading back to come up. So we can do this 'til about four o'clock, or you guys can rethink your decision and have me back next year."
One challenge wasn't enough. Bullock then questioned the other award she "won" earlier Saturday evening -- for "worst couple."
"If you had seen the film, seen it, with your eyes, it's pretty much a film about a woman stalking a man," she said. "That doesn't really set up the premise for a loving couple. So to give us the worst couple award is kind of a 'duh.'"
Bullock's appearance at the Razzies was anything but a given. She's only the second actress in the 30-year-long history of the ceremony to accept a Golden Raspberry. In 2005, Halle Berry showed up to take home the worst actress Razzie for "Catwoman."
Bullock's Diverging Roads to Razzies, Oscars
Saturday's show was nothing like the one Bullock will grace tonight. The road to the Oscars features a strut down the red carpet and larger-than-life golden doorman. The road -- the actual road -- to the Razzies involves a windy, dark ascent, a climb up a set of concrete stairs and two double doors akin to those of a high school gym.
Celebrating cinema's worst creations since 1980, the annual awards show, founded by "Head Raspberry" John Wilson, dishonors the lame rom-coms, plotless summer blockbusters and inane talking animal movies that many agree are not worth the reels they're recorded on.
This year's gala also celebrated the worst stars and movies of the decade: Paris Hilton scored the title of worst actress of the '00s, Eddie Murphy worst actor and "Battlefield Earth" worst picture.
The Razzies also poke fun at Hollywood's self-congratulatory slew of ceremonies (it's no accident the show is always held the night before the Oscars) with pointed jokes and parodies of cliche musical numbers, such as "A Whole New Worst," sung to the tune of "Aladdin's" "A Whole New World:"
The song goes: "Scripts you cannot believe, indefensible acting; some so dumb it's distracting, you may even need to heave."
Indeed, the Razzies are a whole new world, compared to the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the SAGs and all the rest. Thank you speeches are few and far between, since ego and Oscar pre-parties get in the way of most Hollywood bigwigs accepting their trophies.
The Razzies fill the time with hilarious presenters and stars of their own, like Lady Hoo Ha, who, wearing a Christmas Tree on top of her head and a hula hoop around her torso, bore a striking resemblance to a pop culture icon with a similarly double-syllabic name.
It's hard to blame the bulk of A-listers for not showing up. The Razzies are as brutal as other awards shows are corny.
Dan E. Campbell, presenting the Golden Raspberry for worst director while putting on a pretty convincing impersonation of Julia Child, described Walt Becker, "the old fart who directed 'Old Dogs,'" as, "the cinematic equivalent of the uncle who offers to cook the family Christmas ham, then burns it to a crisp."
Check out who else earned shame at the 2010 Razzies:
Worst Picture of 2009: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Worst Actor: The Jonas Brothers, "The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience"
Worst Actress: Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"
Worst Screen Couple: Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, "All About Steve"
Worst Supporting Actor: Billy Ray Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Worst Supporting Actress: Sienna Miller, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
Worst Rip-Off, Remake or Sequel: "Land of the Lost"
Worst Screenplay: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Worst Picture of the Decade: "Battlefield Earth"
Worst Actor of the Decade: Eddie Murphy
Worst Actress of the Decade: Paris Hilton