Charlie Sheen's Top 5 Tales

From 'Two and a Half Men' to Sean Penn, can we believe anything Sheen says?

April 18, 2011 — -- Facts may be a bit subjective in Charlie Sheen's world.

The "rock star from Mars" has spun some questionable stories while rocketing around North America on his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour -- that "Two and a Half Men" wants him back, that he'll drop his lawsuit against the show and get his job back based on merit alone, that his live gigs are loads of fun even though he's gotten booed at most of them.

Sometimes, it's hard not to wonder if what he's saying actually happened or if he's making the whole thing up. In Detroit, he said crack was responsible for two of his cars ending up crashed in a ditch last year, and blamed Ambien -- "the devil's aspirin" -- on his October rampage at the Plaza Hotel. At his second Toronto show, he said his Beverly Hills home is "clean" with "just a few dirty crack pipes and an old musket."

True? False? Below, check out five of the most outlandish tales he's told during his tour, listed from most to least likely to be true.

5. I Slept With Jennifer Grey. At his first Toronto show, Sheen told the audience that the first celebrity he ever "banged" was "Dirty Dancing" star Jennifer Grey. While it may be hard to picture them in the presence of each other now -- let alone sharing the same bed -- Sheen played the bad boy drug addict in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," which Grey co-starred in. It's possible his bad boy routine served him well off screen. (A representative for Grey did not immediately respond to's request for comment.)

4. Sean Penn Is My Best Friend. During his first night in Toronto, Sheen also rattled off his best friends: Sean Penn, Nicolas Cage and his father, Martin Sheen, in that order. Penn and Charlie Sheen grew up together, and Penn has said nice things about the eccentric actor in the past. But with Penn's current dedication to rebuilding Haiti and wooing his new girlfriend, Scarlett Johansson, how close can the two possibly be? Sheen said he was going to join Penn in Haiti in March but he sidelined those plans to launch his live tour. Is that what friends are for?

3. I Didn't Sleep With the Porn Star Who Was in My Plaza Hotel Suite. At Radio City Music Hall on April 9, Sheen revealed he "never even f***ed" Capri Anderson, the adult film actress who witnessed his October rampage at New York City's Plaza Hotel. Considering Sheen's predilection for porn stars -- he told ABC's "20/20," "They're the best at what they do and I'm the best at what I do. And together it's like, it's on" -- it's doubtful he didn't at least try to put the moves on Anderson.

In November, she recounted the night to ABC's "Good Morning America," saying, "there was a little bit of romance" and "a lot happened" before Sheen accused her of stealing his watch and allegedly threatened her life. But considering the turn of events and his admitted drug-induced haze, perhaps intercourse was out of the question.

2. That His Show Is Going Well. This is a recurring theme -- despite multiple reports of people booing and heckling Sheen and walking out of his shows before they're finished, Sheen continues to say everything's swell.

In Boston last week, he tweeted, "I'm loving this Boston show!!! Tweeting from the stage!! Thank You Boston!!! #WINNING." Meanwhile, a local radio host in the audience tweeted, "Here come the first 'F*** yous'" and "a few people are leaving ... The novelty is wearing off."

Later, The Boston Globe called the performance a "dreary debacle, while a Boston Herald columnist likened Sheen's show to "a pathetic little party."

1. 'Two and a Half Men' Wants Me Back. Lately, a large part of Sheen's shtick has been talking about how the show that fired him is trying to woo him back. Last week, Sheen said there's an "85-percent" chance he'll end up on "Two and a Half Men" again.

But according to the studio behind the show, nothing could be further from the truth. In a letter obtained by last week, lawyers for Warner Bros. called Sheen's claims "false." They went on: "As you know, there have been no discussions, there are no discussions and there will be no discussions, regarding his returning to or having any involvement with the series." It doesn't sound like this prophecy of Sheen's is coming true anytime soon.