-- Starring Sandra Bullock
Three-and-a-half out of five stars
In "Minions," we learn the back story of the yellow, Tic Tac-looking, gibberish-speaking henchmen we first met in the "Despicable Me" movies.
We even learn where they came from. Spoiler alert: The sea!
You see, once the minions emerged from the water, they inexplicably were instantly attracted to the meanest, smartest and, in some circumstances, most evil creatures. And then, humans. That’s right -- the minions have been around for millions of years, even serving as henchmen for a dinosaur. But it all really went south for the minions when they accidentally screwed over Napoleon.
After many years living in an ice cave, the once proud minion race is listless and depressed. That’s when one of them -- his name is Kevin -- gets an idea: he’ll save his kind by leaving the cave and finding a new master.
Kevin recruits guitar-loving fellow minion Stuart and junior minion Bob for his trek, which lands them at Villain-Con (nice timing, releasing the movie the weekend of Comic-Con), where they discover the most fearsome, intelligent, cunning villain of all: Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock). Every henchman, henchwoman and henchfish wants to work for Scarlett, but only Kevin, Stuart and Bob have the goods to land the gig. But is Scarlett the right master for the minions, or is she too evil?
We love Sandra Bullock -- I would’ve been thrilled if she’d taken home her second Oscar for "Gravity" -- but not as Scarlett Overkill. Her voice is just the wrong fit here.
"Minions" is not nearly as good as either of the "Despicable Me" movies, nor is it as polished as Pixar’s "Inside Out." Even so, there’s no denying the minions are adorable, but they’re strictly for the kids. While there are some jokes thrown in that only adults will understand, the movie’s most entertaining moments are in the first twenty and final ten minutes. Otherwise, as cute as you may think the minions are, the entertainment value of 90-plus minutes watching gibberish-speaking yellow suppositories quickly wears thin.