The Seduction of Rob Schneider

For Rob Schneider fans, part of the process of becoming an adult is hiding your love for the king of potty humor.

Go to Schneider's movies -- in disguise if you must -- just keep it as a guilty pleasure, lest you be labeled as a case of arrested development.

"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" hits theaters today, with Schneider's bumbling "man-whore" taking his pay-for-pleasure slapstick to Amsterdam, where he'll attempt to re-create the magical crudity that made the 1999 original a $92 million surprise hit. Six years later, Deuce still has the mentality of a 6-year-old. Would fans accept anything else?

"There's something to be said about the everyman -- or, in this case, the less-than-everyman," Schneider says. "People can relate to the character of Deuce, I think."

Schneider didn't rush into a "Deuce" sequel. It's not that he wanted to take more sophisticated parts like his good buddy, Adam Sandler, who wiped a sneer off the face of many critics with his turns in "Punch-Drunk Love" and "Spanglish."

Let's just say Schneider knows what his core fans want -- and he delivers. He may not have scored as well with "The Hot Chick" and "The Animal," and you'd have to Google "Pauly Shore" to find a comic who has gotten worse reviews. But unlike Shore, Schneider has a career, and a busy one.

The rubber-faced 41-year-old came from that early 1990s vintage of "Saturday Night Live." He may best be remembered as "The Copy Guy" -- perhaps the most famous "SNL" character that wasn't turned into a movie.

"I never really saw a story there for a movie," Schneider says. "Everybody will just have to wonder what might have been."

Considering the fate of such horrors as "The Coneheads," "It's Pat" and "Stuart Saves His Family," Schneider probably dodged a bullet. Instead, he's worked extensively with Sandler, appearing with him in "50 First Dates," "Big Daddy" and several other films. It's also Happy Madison -- Sandler's production company -- that has given his films life.

Schneider says he resisted making "European Gigolo" until he could match the mayhem of the original. And his inspiration was something only a true fan of lowbrow could appreciate -- the meeting of a convention of gigolos. Deuce comes to the aid of "The International Man-Whore Society" when a murderer starts killing off the world's top gentlemen of ill repute.

The jokes are just too raunchy to repeat. Bigalow dates the slain gigolos' customers, and they include a giantess, a hunchback and a woman with a nose that looks -- and functions -- like a body part only a man would have.

I could go on, but not without being fired.

In his own defense, Schneider thinks his depiction of male prostitution is more relevant, in some ways, than Paul Schrader's "American Gigolo," the 1980 film that starred a young and chiseled Richard Gere.

"It's ridiculous," Schneider says, launching into a comic rant. "Like Lauren Hutton needs to hire a gigolo? So, I thought, 'Who are the real women that need gigolos?' And that's how it started."

Schneider-haters are as likely to agree with that reasoning as they are to buy tickets to his film. But the comic is happy preaching to his own choir. "Most sequels aren't as good as the first one," he says. "This movie, I guarantee you, is definitely better than the first."

Of course, to some people anything is better than "Deuce Bigalow."