Is It Ever OK To Offer Another Mom Parenting Advice?
Moms debate if it's OK to step in when you see a parent mistreating their child.
June 19, 2009 — -- It's a problem every mother grapples with: When is it appropriate to step in and offer advice to another parent during a child's meltdown, and when is it best to keep your concern to yourself and mind your own business?
Actress Liv Tyler reportedly faced this very dilemma recently when she witnessed another woman scolding a screaming toddler, according to celebrity photo agency X17 Online.
Photos snapped by the agency show Tyler getting into a shouting with a woman who had allegedly been shouting and hitting the young child in the photo, who reportedly cried in his stroller.
Tyler told X17 photographers, "When I saw that, I couldn't take it. I had to do something," according to the agency's report.
Calls made to Tyler's rep by ABCNews.com were not immediately returned. The actress has a 4-year-old son, Milo, with her estranged husband British musician Royston Langdon.
Mothers told ABCNews.com that deciding when it's appropriate to step in and offer parenting advice to another mother or father is a "touchy" subject, but many acknowledged that it is sometimes hard to resist.
"This is a tough one," said Carina Schott, a 44-year-old mother of two children, ages 3 and 7. "I am all for supporting people listening to their own instincts while parenting, and I'm also sure that we have all seen this kind of situation and then kicked ourselves after walking away without saying anything."
"I think that most often you have to trust that the parent is doing the right thing, but if it's obvious that there is some kind of abuse at stake there is nothing wrong with telling the parents that there is another way to deal with their anger than taking it out of on the kids," said Schott, who blogs for Nonchalantmom.com.
"Then maybe you yourself will get punched in the eye, but at least you tried!" she said.
Parenting expert Maria Bailey said that stepping in when a parent-child altercation has escalated is not always a bad idea.
"My opinion is that if a mom is either verbally abusing or physically putting them at harm then I think it's appropriate to intervene," said Bailey, the author of author of several parenting books and the host of Mom Talk Radio.
Jamie Reeves, a 39-year-old mother in Nashville, Tenn., said she recently had the experience of witnessing an interaction between a father and his daughter that made her later regret that she hadn't intervened.
"The child was upset and her father was sort of dragging her to the car," said Reeves. "I started to say something but then stopped myself, and later I wished I had."
"I think when you're a parent you kind of that kind of built in intuition when something isn't right," said Reeves.
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