Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru: Fran Harris
Read responses to viewer-submitted questions from one of our finalists.
December 8, 2010 -- Fran Harris from Dallas, Texas, is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read her response to a viewer-submitted question below!
Question from Maria in Los Alamos, N.M.: "My son, age 19, has dropped out of college, given away his bed, books, everything, and is living out of his car. He plans to start a company and become a millionaire. I have discussed with him at length the unlikelihood of his business staying solvent, the importance of getting your education first. He says he hears me and will take his own path. He is broke but has not asked for money. What can I do besides being a loving mother and listening to his concerns?"
Fran's Answer: It must be difficult to watch your son make such a daring life choice at 19. I believe relationships always come first so, being a loving parent, as you've indicated, is definitely a great place to start.
There are 3 issues: his decision to quit school, his decision to start a business and perhaps his decision to exclude you from either or both of these major decisions.
#1: He quit school.
Unfortunately, no parent wants to hear what I'm about to say. Once your child leaves home, there's really nothing you can do about the choices they make. Your best bet is to open a dialogue about how he plans to take care of himself. If it'll make you feel better, go ahead and give him the "education is important" speech but keep in mind it may not be that he doesn't value education, it may be that he doesn't feel "college" is necessary for his success.
#2: He's starting a business out of his car.
Entrepreneurs are wired differently than other humanoids. Sometimes those differences are not only difficult for them to convey but also difficult for others to understand. Our country was literally built on the sweat and courage of people just like your son, many of whom were immigrants who didn't even speak the language when they got here! So congratulations on raising such an enterprising young man. Going forward I'd encourage you to share your concerns with your son but don't expect his fears to reflect yours. Entrepreneurs are often quite fearless.
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