Turning on the Tears: Should Men Cry?

Is the weepy "Bachelor" a sensitive sweetie or just a crybaby?

ByABC News via logo
March 4, 2009, 1:51 AM

March 4, 2009 — -- The final tear-soaked episode of "The Bachelor" was remarkable for the star's dumping the winning bachelorette for the runner-up, but what really has people talking is the endless waterworks -- and the tears didn't come from the women.

Jason Mesnick is likely the weepiest bachelor ever. He sloshed through the final episode, tearing up at least a dozen times, raising the question: When is it OK for men to cry?

Mesnick's crying has endeared him to some viewers but painted him as a target of insult for others.

"I thought it was sweet to see a guy cry for a change and any girl would be lucky to have him," one "Good Morning America" viewer commented at ABCNews.com.

"I like a sensitive guy as much as the next woman, but unless someone just died or you have just cut off one of your limbs, cut out the waterworks," another wrote.

"GMA" went to a U.S. military base to ask the most macho of men what they thought about turning on the tears. Even there, the reaction was mixed.

"I totally think it's OK for a man to cry and I think there's times when it's totally warranted," said Marine Maj. Tony Bancroft.

U.S. Navy Lt. Jim Tomaszeski disagreed. "I don't cry at all and it's not really on purpose. I just find other more constructive things to do," he said.

And Navy Lt. Brian Hartman, the son of former "GMA" host David Hartman, said he remembers crying only once in his life.

"The only time I can remember where I cried specifically was when I learned Diane Swayer was married," Hartman said jokingly, referring to the "GMA" anchor.

When it comes to crying, psychologists say that the difference between men and women may be a learned response.

"If you look at brain scans of people expressing emotion you'll see men feel the same emotion, but we display it in different ways. We're culturally told here in America we don't cry as men," said Jonathan Bowman, an assistant professor at the University of San Diego who specializes in male communication.

While shows like "The Bachelor" are known for emotional drama and tugging -- sometimes ripping -- at the heart strings of the contestants and audience alike, Mesnick is hardly the first high-profile man to choke up in public.