11 Things I’ll Never Do as a Mom

I’m perhaps the least put together mother I know.

ByABC News
August 14, 2014, 1:10 PM
Here are some things you won't see the modern mom do.
Here are some things you won't see the modern mom do.
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Aug. 14, 2014— -- Editor's Note: This article first appeared on Babble and is reprinted here with permission. Disney is the parent company of both Babble and ABC News.

Once in a great while, someone will make that infamous comment to me — “I don’t know how you do it all!” and in response, I will break out into hysterical laughter.

Because come on — me?

I’m perhaps the least put together mother I know. And yet, from my motherhood resume, it might look like I have a lot going on: a full-time career, three little kids and a baby due any day now, the title of “author” under my belt, a sometimes speaking career, and, of course, my daily Instagrams that showcase how much exercise I get and how clean my house is in totally humorous ways.

As moms, let’s admit that we can all be guilty of the #humblebrag from time to time. It’s natural for us to want to do it all and have it all and even showcase it all in an effort to convince ourselves that we are doing a great job. But no mother can do it all without some sort of compromise. These days, my life is all about making choices on a day-to-day basis to fit in everything that is important to me as a mother, wife, and employee.

Even though I think most of us are doing a pretty darn good job of it at the end of the day, I’m throwing in the towel and admitting at long last:

Everything I don’t do as a mother. Be prepared.

1) Play with my kids

Are you horrified? Flabbergasted? Well, sorry, but it’s the truth. When I had but a mere one and even two children, I played with kids aplenty. All morning, I’d drop whatever chores I had to do and play with my daughters when they asked, I initiated rousing games of imaginative play, and when the youngest napped, I devoted hours to tea parties with the oldest. But now, with three (almost four) kids and more work responsibilities, I simply don’t play with my kids like I used to.

Sure, there’s a lot of days we play outside and I, of course, take them to a lot of fun activities, but on a day-to-day basis, I’m not spending a whole lot of time getting involved in their downtime playtime at home. They are more than happy to play independently together, which I believe is good for them. We get plenty of bonding time other ways, like reading together, playing board games, or when they come hang out with me in the office and “help” me on my articles. I have absolutely zero guilt on this front and honestly, in a lot of ways, we are all happier for my motherhood fail on this one.

2) Cook dinner every night

I plan the meals, shop for the meals, prep the meals, and clean up the meals, but almost every single night, my husband cooks the main course for dinner. He’s a way better cook than me, honestly, and for the main dishes, like chicken or anything grilled, I just stay out of the way. Unless it’s a one-pot meal, one of the few dishes I enjoy cooking (like homemade waffles) or crockpot magic, I bow down to the “Master Chef” in our house on this one. He likes cooking, I like eating, so it’s a match made in heaven, really.

3) Iron. Like, ever