Beware the Vigilante Mom
A well-meaning mom might cause major problems.
— -- (Editor's note: This article originally appeared on Babble.com. It has been reprinted here with permission. The Walt Disney Co. is the parent company of both ABC News and Babble.)
It was a beautiful sunny day, on an afternoon like any other. I was watching my almost 9-year-old daughter walk the two blocks home from our bus stop in our small private residential neighborhood, walking towards her as I normally do, to meet in the middle ... when it happened.
A woman pushing a baby stroller stopped her and began asking questions. We didn’t know this woman, and I could tell by the look on my daughter’s face that she was clearly startled. I could see her pointing at me, showing that I was just 8 or 10 houses away, and thankfully the woman let her continue on her way.
It was an odd moment, one that shook me right down to my core and I immediately picked up the phone to call my husband.
Why? Because I felt threatened.
We are supposed to watch over our kids and protect them from child abductors, busy roads, physically abusive people, and the like. But at that particular moment in time, the person most threatening to my family was this vigilante mother.
This woman asked my daughter her name, her age, and whether she was walking home from the bus stop alone. Questions that rang alarmingly similar to a “What to Watch Out For” in my “Stranger Danger” class growing up.
My daughter didn’t look distressed in any way while she was walking, so what compelled this woman to stop a 9-year-old in her tracks and ask her these personal questions?
As I watched the brief conversation unfold, I wanted to run. To grab my daughter’s arm and pull her away from this strange woman. It all just felt so “off” to me and my alarm bells were ringing on every level.
You see, I have read one too many stories recently about people who have had their lives turned upside down, all based on an anonymous phone call to the police (or Child Protective Services).
This mother did not stop and assess the situation, she didn’t look around and see me walking towards my daughter. She simply saw a child on the sidewalk, and decided to intervene based on her own personal beliefs that it wasn’t OK for her to walk home “alone.”
Now, please don’t get me wrong, I believe in helping others. Especially those who are actually in DANGER. But the key word here is danger. A child who is being abused, a child who perhaps needs financial assistance, a child who looks distressed and needs help, and yes -- a child left alone in a car.
But none of that was happening here. And in that moment, I wanted to run up to this mother and tell her to mind her own business. I wanted to tell her that she wasn’t doing anybody any good and that if she really wanted to “protect children,” she should look where problems actually exist.
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Was I overreacting? Maybe a little, but truthfully, she had me petrified.
Let’s just say for a minute that my child was walking home from the bus stop alone, is that really so wrong? One tenth of a mile on sidewalks, in a residential area, a mature child walking home on her own to meet her family. There’s no actual law against it, believe me -- I spent that evening on the phone with the police department just to double check.
So when did we as mothers become so convinced in our own parenting -- that if somebody else varies from our personal style they are instantly labeled as “wrong”?
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